A Change of Heart
by Bratanimus
Summary: Alternative to Breaking Dawn. E/B. "Our wedding night wasn't supposed to be like this. They'd decided that Bella was too great a risk, and they were prepared to kill all of us if we fought them. Destroy the few to preserve the many." COMPLETE.
1. Intention

**Title:** A Change of Heart

**Author:** Bratanimus

**Chapter 1 Summary:** _Our wedding night wasn't supposed to be like this. They'd decided that Bella was too great a risk, and they were prepared to kill all of us if we fought them. Destroy the few to preserve the many._ Edward/Bella, all other canon pairings.

**Rating:** R for some chapters

**Warnings:** Sexual content, blood.

**Author's Note:** Set after Eclipse. This multi-chaptered story is my take on how certain events may come to pass. I hope you like it. ;)

* * *

"And now I present to you … _Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen!_"

Emmett shoved us unceremoniously in the direction of our small group of witnesses. My hand held onto Bella's, and I silently vowed that nothing would make me let go of it ever again. I kissed her – _my_ _wife_ – once more, this time on her cheek, and watched her shining face as she smiled at Charlie and Renée.

Happiness. _This_ was what it was like, this moment, and all the other remnants of my strange existence into which Bella had had suddenly breathed life. I was buffeted by the emotion like a tiny crab caught in an eddy, and it was a surreal and exhilarating feeling. I gave myself over to the sensation, holding giddily onto the lace of my life preserver's wedding gown.

In a daze, I orbited Bella as she hugged her parents and Phil, hovered while she chattered animatedly with her handful of friends from school. I have no idea what I said to anyone, but I'm certain I was grinning when I said it.

My family kept a respectful distance, waiting for me to approach them with my bride. Across the lawn Carlisle met my eye, and his proud smile made a lump form in my throat. I realized that Esme's hand resting in the crook of Carlisle's elbow was an exact mirror image of Bella's in mine.

I lowered my eyes and smiled.

Jasper had picked up his guitar again and played softly on the front steps as our guests milled around us. A couple of Bella's friends – Angela and Ben – wandered over to my – _our_ – family. They knew Alice by now, but they still felt rather shy around Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper, who had "graduated" the year before. Alice babbled on with them and managed to get them talking to Emmett. Rosalie held onto Emmett's arm and smiled coldly, put out that she wasn't the center of attention in white today. At least she was behaving, more or less; I knew I couldn't expect miracles.

I turned my attention back to Charlie and Renée. To their credit, they managed to look happy for Bella. I tried not to concentrate on their doubtful and disparaging thoughts; they still didn't – couldn't – understand. Charlie didn't trust me. Renée didn't trust Bella.

And a few months from now, after it became apparent that Bella wasn't coming home to visit, they would both wonder what on earth they'd done wrong to warrant their daughter's utter absence from their lives. If we were lucky, they'd both blame me.

I couldn't dwell on that today, of course; and Bella wouldn't, not yet.

A peal of Alice's laughter tore my gaze from Bella's parents. I followed Alice's eyes and watched Jasper walking down the front steps. He had put his guitar back in its case and was signaling Jessica and Mike over to the hors d'oeuvres table, doing a very odd pantomime of eating with a fork as he did so. When they arrived, he spoke in low tones to them. I watched as Bella's friends relaxed in Jasper's presence; it pleased me that he wanted our guests to enjoy themselves, so much so that he would turn his talents in their direction.

Alice excused herself for a moment, leaving Angela and Ben with Rosalie and Emmett. Alice had arranged everything today, including the music for the reception; and now she went to switch on the sound system in our living room. Emmett had insisted on wiring up outside speakers on the porch so that we could enjoy the music outdoors. Bella, wanting to limit our guests' impulse to dance – and any inclination to force _her_ to dance – had somehow convinced Alice to rein in her musical tastes for us. Though Alice wasn't pleased about the constraints, she had created an elegant, old-fashioned mix of popular ballads from my teenage years, some French art songs, and classical piano concertos.

Now Bella took my hand and nodded toward Esme and Carlisle. Together we approached them, and Esme's arms immediately encircled Bella.

"Daughter," she said, beaming.

The look on Bella's face was one of such relief and joy that I thought my heart would burst. Carlisle shared a quiet smile with me. He shook my hand warmly, a gesture which quickly turned into an embrace.

_I'm glad this day is here_, he thought as we pulled apart.

I nodded, feeling emotional once more. Nothing could have prepared me for the delight I felt in this moment, and I ran my fingers down Bella's spine, enjoying the shiver I felt beneath their touch.

But my thoughts were broken by a voice calling my name.

_Edward._

It was Alice.

She was alone on the steps of our porch, and her face was horrified. She stared off into the middle distance, seeing something, and I impatiently waited for her to tell me.

Her panicked thoughts tumbled over each other.

_They're coming. I didn't see them before. They had to have been here already, on other business, and changed their plans mid-stream. Or maybe they never left, after Victoria. Oh, it's too soon, too soon! Why didn't I know? Why didn't I see them?_

I must have been squeezing Bella's hand, because she placed her other hand over my fingers to pry them gently loose. I felt her eyes on me as I stared at Alice, and Carlisle and Esme gathered near us, understanding at once that something was wrong.

"Who?" I whispered to Alice, yards away from me. The sickening hollow in the pit of my stomach told me I already knew the answer.

_The Volturi_.

I looked at Bella as fear wrapped an icy hand around my heart.

"What is it?" she asked. "What did she see?" Her dark eyes searched mine.

"The Volturi are coming," I whispered.

For several moments, time slowed as Bella and I stared at each other, and I gripped her hand tightly. I shuddered at what this could mean. Why were they here? It was still several weeks until the thirteenth of August, the deadline to which they had agreed. Had they changed their minds about allowing Bella into our coven? Were they coming instead to –

Esme inhaled sharply. Carlisle crossed the lawn to Alice, who descended the stairs to meet him. The three of us followed as quickly as we could without alarming anyone, and soon Rosalie was by Alice's side as well, her face darkening as Alice whispered quickly in her ear. Fortunately, the humans hadn't noticed anything, and we were careful to keep our faces neutral. I saw Jasper glance at Emmett, but they remained with our human guests, holding their plates of untouched food and continuing their conversations. I was grateful.

"How long before they arrive?" I asked, already planning an escape. I had bought plane tickets to Europe for a honeymoon; I'd wanted Bella to enjoy her last weeks as a human in the most beautiful places I could take her, and I'd planned to surprise her because I knew she'd argue. Perhaps we could leave a few days early –

"They'll be here in fifteen minutes," said Alice. "They're getting edgy. They sense – they sense the humans."

This couldn't be happening. Not today. A low growl burned in my throat.

"What do they want?" asked Carlisle.

"I can't see everything," said Alice, shaking her head. "But I think" – she looked at Bella – "it's more than assurances they're after."

Carlisle pressed his lips together. "How many?"

Alice's eyes scanned something visible only to her and she replied, "Eleven – no, twelve."

Rosalie hissed slowly, and her eyes darted to Emmett's. He saw her, but he turned and kept talking to Ben; his smile didn't quite reach his eyes.

"I can take Bella away," I said, pulling her to me. "We can try to use our plane tickets tonight." My mind began to whir, spinning out every eventuality, the possible pitfalls and what I could do to avoid them.

"What plane tickets – " began Bella.

"_No!_" hissed Alice. Her hands shook as she reached for my arm. "Edward, they won't be happy. They'll think you're backing out of the agreement, trying to protect her. If you do that, we'll all be dead when you get back, I promise you." She and Bella shared a look. "Time's up," she added softly.

Bella nodded, and the blood left her cheeks. I felt rage simmering inside my chest. She wasn't some sacrificial lamb. We'd planned this, planned exactly how to do it _our_ way, and that should have been two weeks from now, after our honeymoon.

Esme caught sight of my face and said, prudently, "Perhaps we should step inside for a moment." The merest gesture of her hand, palm down, told Jasper and Emmett to wait here with the humans.

Safely inside, varying degrees of panic, fear, and anger settled onto our expressions.

"There's not much we can do," Carlisle said. _If it has to happen tonight_, he thought, looking at me, _do you still –_

I nodded, jaw clenched. Bella had asked me to be the one, and I wouldn't refuse her.

"I'm sorry," said Bella, and anguish ravaged her features as she spoke. "It's my fault they're coming. We should have done this before – "

"Oh, come on, Bella," snapped Rosalie. "You're not the center of the universe, you know. It's as much _Edward's_ fault as it is yours that the Volturi are here."

The silence echoed in the living room as I stared at Rosalie. She was right, of course, about it being my fault for wanting to wait. But that didn't mean I would let her speak to Bella that way.

"Go mingle," I growled.

We glared at each other and I said nothing more.

"I'll come with you," said Esme, taking Rosalie's elbow. "We'll send Jasper and Emmett inside. They need to know."

Esme's features were arranged again before she reached the door.

A few moments later my brothers joined us, and Alice told them what she had seen.

"Can we fight them?" asked Emmett, eyes flashing.

"No," said Carlisle quickly.

"No," agreed Jasper, pacing with his hands behind his back. "It's the Volturi. They're stronger, there are more of them. And even if we somehow managed to destroy these twelve, there'd be more after us before sundown tomorrow."

Carlisle nodded.

"And besides," interjected Bella, her eyes sweeping passionately over each of us, "they probably only want what _I_ want. We shouldn't fight them."

"Of course," said Carlisle, touching her arm. "You're right, Bella. Let's just wait and see why they're here."

We were quiet again, all of us, watching each other. The others' thoughts stumbled and lurched around me. It was an impossible situation. The not knowing was maddening, and I still wanted to pull Bella by the arm and carry her away from here.

"We should get back outside," said Alice. "Your guests will be wondering where the stars of the show have gone."

"And our unexpected visitors will be here soon," I said.

"That, too."

I touched Alice's hand. "Thank you." There was nothing else to say.

She shrugged, once again the reluctant messenger. But would the foreknowledge help us at all?

Bella and I went back outside and found a private spot next to a hemlock. From the house, Alice's music continued to pipe outdoors from our sound system. The romantic melodies suddenly sounded out-of-place over Bella's thudding heart.

My bride smiled wryly, her cheeks now dappling pink again with anxiety. "Congratulations, Mr. Cullen. You've married a disaster."

"Stop that, Bella." I placed a cold hand on her cheek and she leaned into it, closing her eyes. "We don't know what's coming, but they're not separating us."

Bella's eyes opened and flickered back and forth between mine, as if she were trying to discern whether or not I actually believed what I was saying.

I sighed and went on. "Rosalie was right, though. I should have turned you as soon as we came back from Italy."

"No, Edward," she whispered. "I know why you wanted to wait. You wanted the best for me – "

"Yes – "

" – but you never realized that that was always _you_."

We looked into each other's eyes for several long seconds, and then I leaned down to kiss her. Despite my fear and anger at what was happening around us, I felt drunk, drowning in the feel of her warm, soft lips.

"How did I ever manage to get you?" I whispered in her ear.

Bella tilted her face upward and kissed me again. "I could ask the same."

"They're here," said Alice quietly, now beside us.

We looked down the drive and saw the vampires headed our way. Carlisle was already going to meet them, walking slowly, with confidence. I saw only two, but they were two of the Volturi's most valuable members: Demetri, the tracker; and Jane. I stiffened. The other ten would be nearby, ready to come if called, I had no doubt.

Demetri, his long, dark hair rustling in the light breeze, wore a stylish gray suit with a burgundy tie; and the diminutive Jane wore a flowing summer gown in ruby. Except for their red irises and their hard, pleasantly dangerous expressions, they almost blended in here.

Demetri's and Jane's thoughts were deliberately obtuse; I was positive they were clouding their intentions because of me. Their skill at dissembling was considerable, and I only got snatches of true thought now and then, something about _traveling_ and _talents_. Over everything, I heard the language of supreme confidence in both their minds, as if they had no doubt we would agree to their demands under whatever terms they chose.

I felt my breathing quicken, but I had to let Carlisle greet the Volturi alone. The group knew him from long ago, and my experience in Italy revealed to me that Aro, at least, did still respect him, even if he didn't understand him. Carlisle would make them feel welcome in a way that I couldn't. Diplomacy, I knew, had never been my strong suit, and it most certainly wouldn't come naturally to me tonight. As Carlisle took Jane's hand and placed it over his arm, demonstrating a courtesy she couldn't possibly deserve, my arm instinctively tightened around Bella's waist; and she clung to me, shaking.

I heard the words _stregoni benefici_, almost as if Demetri's mind had spat them out by accident, an epithet he was powerless to control as he followed Jane and Carlisle up the path to our home. His dark, threatening eyes met mine for a split second as he smoothly passed by us, then they darted away from me to scan our group of guests. He looked as if he were disgusted by what he saw around him. Angela, seeing his furious gaze, shrank against Ben.

The Volturi must think it urgent to allow two of their most powerful envoys to be seen by so many humans. Fear sank its jaws into my heart again, and I felt icy terror dripping into my gut.

"They want … " Alice began.

"What?" Bella and I both asked.

"They want – they want to – oh, I can't see it! It's not clear yet, because their visit has more than one purpose. Perhaps even Jane and Demetri don't know everything yet. But they do want something … from _all_ of us." Alice's hand found Bella's and held it.

"Not you," I whispered into Bella's hair. "Never you."

"They're going to wait until the humans are gone."

"Shouldn't be long," I observed. Now Jessica and Mike were staring at our new arrivals warily. So much for our reception.

Carlisle led Demetri and Jane straight into the house, and our guests watched their passing with uncertain curiosity. Carlisle, wisely, did not intend to introduce them to any human here. Esme, who had been speaking with Charlie, excused herself to follow him. Emmett trailed them nonchalantly and settled himself in the open doorway where he could see the goings on. I could see his biceps flex through his suit when he folded his arms. Inside, Carlisle turned on a lamp and crossed to the other side of the room, where Jane and Demetri were already seated on one of the sofas. Our daylight was waning, the sky turning a vivid purple underneath the blanket of clouds; and the yellow lamplight made the house look inviting, as if no strange conversations were taking place at this moment, as though no silent threats hovered in the air.

"Come on, you two," said Alice bravely, steering us toward the hors d'oeuvres table. "Go and socialize."

_Last chance_, she couldn't help thinking.

I shot her a look, but the worry in her eyes made me forgive her at once.

Bella and I made the rounds again, spending time with each of our guests, somehow contriving laughter when people told embarrassing stories about Bella, and managing to thank them sincerely when they offered their best wishes to us. We put on a good act, I thought grimly; but it was nearly more than I could do to force a smile. I tried to make Bella eat something, but she couldn't.

After a while, Esme and Carlisle returned and sent my brothers and sisters into the house. They knew that our wedding guests would want to thank them for their hospitality, so they had to make themselves available to receive that courtesy. Their eyes only shot toward the light streaming from our open front door a few times.

Slowly our guests said their goodbyes and started to trickle back to their cars, and Esme and Carlisle excused themselves a final time. Charlie and Renée remained with us for a few more minutes while Phil, unconsciously jingling the coins and the car keys in his pockets, hovered nearby.

Renée embraced Bella for a long time, tears streaming down her face and onto Bella's gown, and Bella clutched her tightly, her own tears barely contained. Bella soothed her mother as Renée chattered through an ongoing sob about how much she loved her daughter, how she wanted nothing but the best for us, how she'd always be there for her no matter what. I had to control my face not to let on that I knew she didn't believe our marriage would last six months. I focused on Bella, brave Bella, instead.

Charlie, the stoic, was almost worse than Renée. He shook my hand and, eyes on the ground, said, "Promise me you'll take care of my little girl."

Bella huffed next to me, pretending that her patience, after Renée's tirade, was wearing thin. But I could see her emotions bubbling too closely to the surface. Our little charade was likely to fall apart at any second. She must have realized by now, as I had, that her goodbyes to her parents would no longer take place in a few weeks, as we had originally planned. If I had to change her tonight, their goodbyes were _now_.

"I'll never leave her side," I promised, pulling Bella closer, feeling like a cad far worse than any father's nightmare.

"Okay," said Charlie, nodding briskly. "Okay. Well. See you, Bells."

Bella's lip quivered, but Charlie had already turned. He sauntered back in the direction of his police cruiser, Renée with her handkerchief and Phil with the keys to their rental car following close behind.

"I love you, Mom, Dad," Bella called after them, waving. Her voice only wobbled a little bit, and I held onto her waist tightly.

"Love you, too," they echoed, turning to wave.

The car doors shut and we listened as the sound of their engines disappeared.

I looked down at Bella next to me. Her face crumpled and she sobbed, just once. I put my arms around her and held her trembling body close, watched as gooseflesh rose on her neck under the evening breeze, felt her silent tears wetting my shirt.

She would never see them again.

hr

We stood hand-in-hand in the doorway, Bella's reddened eyes blinking in the lamplight. Our family dotted the room, their casual positions belying their anxious thoughts.

I glanced at Alice.

_Nothing's changed yet_, she thought.

I squeezed Bella's hand to try to tell her we were safe, for the moment. Until we found out otherwise, I couldn't believe that they were here to try to take her from me. My thoughts raced, but I couldn't plan for what I couldn't see.

Jane rose languidly from the sofa, her red irises glinting as she neared the light. Demetri looked at me and raised his chin infinitesimally, but that was the extent of his greeting. With Jane present, there was no need for him to speak.

"Congratulations," Jane said, appraising us like we were slabs of meat. "Apparently Marcus was right about you two after all." She sounded as though she still didn't believe him, even though we faced her in our wedding garments with rings on our fingers.

Bella's voice surprised me. "Thank you." She was polite, trying to appease them. This time she squeezed my hand, possibly to calm me.

Now that we were all here, Jane spoke rapidly, ignoring Bella. "We found out about your wedding and saw that several humans would be here. We thought you could use some … supervision."

"Your prudence, as always, is exceptional," said Carlisle diplomatically, "but as you know we've been living among humans for years. They know us, and we know them."

"Yes, I understand," said Jane, amused. She still didn't trust us, and she wasn't letting me into her thoughts. "Your unconventional ways do fascinate Aro. He speaks of you often."

"We are honored to be a subject of discussion in his household," said Carlisle, inclining his head slightly. He didn't feel that way, but he said it anyhow. Carlisle was feeling cornered, and my anger escalated.

I watched Demetri on the sofa, lazily tracing a pattern on the knee of his trousers, seemingly not paying any attention to the tactful pleasantries being exchanged. Jane had brought him specifically, I was sure, to remind us that running would be futile. He'd locate us as easily as he had found me in Volterra.

Gradually I became aware of other thoughts, a blur of voices outside the house. The other vampires were drawing near, now that the humans were gone.

"Aro was disappointed that he did not receive an invitation to your wedding," said Jane. She seemed to be laughing at us, though she did not smile.

"Our apologies." Esme stepped forward. "We thought it best not to overwhelm our neighbors with unfamiliar faces. They are used to us, but our kind is still strange to them."

"A visit to Italy would be sensible," suggested Jane, "to make amends."

Carlisle spoke, his voice even. "We would be happy to attend Aro, Caius, and Marcus at their convenience."

"We are pleased to hear you say that," smiled Jane, satisfied. Her expression was cold, predatory. "We shall expect you all in Volterra in a week's time. After certain matters are taken care of."

She turned her deadly gaze on Bella.

Bella recoiled involuntarily, and I shifted my body in front of hers, still holding her hand behind me.

"With all due respect," I began, even though I could see Alice's head shaking minutely behind Jasper's shoulder, "we had hoped to take a short honeymoon as – as man and wife, before her transition."

"With equal _respect_," said Jane – and her tone let me know just how much good regard she was willing to afford me – "we cannot trust that your little wife will not try to escape once you are away from your family."

"I would _never_ leave Edward!" cried Bella, beside me once more.

I held her hand tightly, trying to tell her through my grip to stop talking. Some instinct told me that the less Jane knew of Bella's headstrong ways, the better.

"Sorry, dear, but we cannot trust you." Jane smiled condescendingly at Bella. "Aro was unable to penetrate your mind, as you recall – in fact, no one can" – she shot a look at me – "so we cannot be sure you won't have a last-minute change of heart. Otherwise Aro might have come himself tonight and sent you on your honeymoon with his blessings. He _loves_ weddings," she gushed.

"But _I_ can see," said Alice, crossing the room to stand next to Bella. "It will happen, whether it be tonight or two weeks from now. It _will_ happen. And Edward will be the one to turn her."

"But people cling to life so fiercely, at the end. A change of heart can happen so quickly," insisted Jane. "They're so _predictable_. Another frailty of the human condition." She spat the last word as if it were an unspeakable disease. "It would happen in an instant, and she would run away. And I don't think your Edward would stop her." Jane paused, letting her words sink in. "We've reconsidered and think you are mistaken, Alice."

Alice was silent. Angry, fearful thoughts screamed through her mind, but she spoke not a word.

"We will wait," said Jane. And she went back to sit on the sofa.

We all stood in silence, the air rippling with tension.

Demetri cracked his knuckles and yawned affectedly.

The other ten vampires waited outside the house, in the woods. I heard whispers of their boredom, their irritation, their yearning for a battle.

"Go on," said Jane conversationally.

She stared at me as if she expected me to bite Bella right here and now, in front of everyone. Alice wrapped her arms around Bella immediately, shaking her head.

Then several things happened at once. I felt myself growl, my body lowering into a crouch, and I prepared myself for the torture Jane would hurl at me when I lunged at her. Carlisle moved toward me, one hand outstretched, his thoughts speaking softly to me as they had done so many times when I was distraught in the early years. I saw Emmett tensing, preparing to spring, next to an alarmed-looking Rosalie. Jasper edged closer to Demetri.

And Bella rushed in front of me, standing between me and Jane, whispering, _"No, Edward!"_

But Esme left Carlisle's side and swiftly knelt in front of Jane. "Please," she said softly. "Please. Give them until morning."

Bella whirled to face them, and I froze. What was Esme doing?

Jane, who hadn't even flinched at the movement around her, smiled at Esme's lowered head. Her eyes flickered over Esme's long, white neck. It pained and angered me to see Esme prostrating herself this way.

"Until morning? Why?" Jane asked.

Esme raised her eyes and blinked into Jane's hard, impenetrable face. "It's their wedding night."

Esme's eyes then looked at me, and the love in them stopped the growl in my throat. Bella returned to me, wrapping a hand around my forearm. I slowly straightened and sensed Emmett and Jasper relax.

Jane surveyed us for several seconds, her eyes roving over us lazily. _What a romantic story that would be_, she allowed me to hear. _Aro will be thrilled_. Then she tilted her head and said, lightly, "All right. Until morning. You won't leave the house."

"Thank you," said Esme.

Jane waved her up. Esme backed away again, toward Carlisle, her eyes on us.

"I'm feeling generous," said Jane. "Go and enjoy your wedding night. I'll see you at dawn. And you will change the girl before then." She paused. "We will kill her if you haven't turned her yet, obviously. And you, too, if you try to protect her." Her glance passed over all of us, but it lingered on me, Emmett, and Jasper in particular.

Jane settled back on the sofa again – making it clear to me that she wasn't leaving tonight – and smiled at Demetri, who rolled his eyes.

Every inch of me wanted to attack her, to rip her and Demetri limb from limb. But as my breath rasped in and out, I knew it would be useless. There were ten more of them waiting in the forest. Our family would die. Bella would die. The Volturi had made up their minds before Jane and Demetri had arrived, and there would be no changing them. They'd decided that Bella was too great a risk to wait any longer, and they were prepared to kill all of us if we fought them. Destroy the few to preserve the many.

Jane and Demetri made no effort to hide their surface thoughts now, and the words I heard now were mocking and heartless. They only sought the solution of Bella's transformation; and until she was one of us she was little more than a calf stupidly awaiting slaughter. But I still didn't know why they wanted all of us in Italy afterwards. The Volturi couldn't still want us for our talents, after Alice and I both had refused them … could they? Would they _force_ us to join them?

I was so livid, still staring at Jane, that it took me several seconds to realize that everyone's eyes were on me. It took Bella's crossing in front of me, her hands on my chest, to coax me out of my fury.

"Come on," she whispered, her eyes wide and vulnerable, her voice quavering. "I'm ready."

I felt my face twist. _"I'm not,"_ I insisted stubbornly.

Though her voice still trembled, her tone became hard. "You have to be."

"It shouldn't be like this." I knew it was hopeless, and I hated myself for saying it in front of Jane and Demetri; but the words tumbled out in spite of me. "It wasn't supposed to be like this."

"But it is," said Bella simply.

Her hands tugged on the lapels of my jacket, trying to pull me toward the stairs; but my body wouldn't move. Her heart was pounding as hard as I'd ever heard it; I knew everyone in the room could sense it. Again I was seized by the desire to throw her across my back and run, just run, as fast and as hard as I could.

_Edward,_ _I'll be here,_ thought Carlisle, interrupting my suicidal fantasy, _just as we planned. But you won't need me._

My eyes found his and he tried to smile at me. I flinched, hating myself for the danger our family was in now because of me and my selfishness.

And then, suddenly, Jasper was beside me, doing something he'd never done to me before, something I never should have allowed under the circumstances. Yet, somehow, though I could have stopped him, I … didn't.

He placed a hand over my heart and leaned into me, his cheek next to mine, his other hand on my back, a strange touch that seemed to send warmth straight into me.

_Things will look better in the morning,_ he thought, infusing a sense of reason and calm through my furious body, my whirring mind. I knew he was lying, but I couldn't argue. _You'll see. I'll stay close to you._

I exhaled, dazed, when Jasper released me, too comforted to be angry with him.

When I turned he was already carefully embracing Bella, his right arm around her waist, bringing her heart closer to his, with her right hand balanced in his left, almost as if they were waltzing. With his back to me I couldn't tell if his lips were on her cheek or in her ear, but I heard what he murmured: "I'll see you again when dawn breaks."

She, too, exhaled, swaying, when he stepped away and took his place beside Alice. Jasper's and Alice's hands clasped each other at once, though their eyes remained on us.

An echo of dread – not strong enough to disturb my calm – crept into my stomach as I realized that Jane and Demetri had watched the whole peculiar exchange with curiosity. They were taking excited mental notes even now, unmindful of the fact that I could hear their fascination, their eagerness to report back to the Volturi the extent of Jasper's power, which they'd now witnessed with their own eyes. They were intrigued by our sudden change in mood while in such a dismal situation, and I wished now I had not let Jasper touch us at all; but it was too late.

Jasper had known he was putting himself on display, and now he told me, _Go on, Edward._

I looked at him and he tilted his head with a raised eyebrow – his version of a shrug. There was nothing to be done for it. For now, we were all trapped.

But when I finally looked at Bella, I read so much trust in her eyes that I thought my heart would crack. I knew things had gone wrong, terribly wrong; but Jasper's peace had already inoculated me and I knew that we had to make of tonight what we could.

Bella's fingertips met mine, then our hands entwined, and we somehow made our way toward the winding staircase.

I felt Emmett and Rosalie watching us from their position beside the window, and they were joined quietly by Esme and Carlisle. Their fretful faces told me that Jasper was focusing all his attention on Bella and me. A wave of blunted sorrow rolled through me; but I had my wife to think of now. I saw her watching the others fearfully as we climbed the stairs, so I placed a finger on her jaw and gently turned her face toward mine.

"They'll be all right," I whispered. _Tonight, at least._

* * *

_**A/N: I hope you liked chapter one. Feedback would simply dazzle me, you know. ;)**_


	2. Consummation

We reached the first landing and I still felt Jasper's power over my emotions. I wondered if he would concentrate on us all night and, if so, whether he would be able to reach us effectively from two floors down. Surely Jane would not allow him to leave the living room.

Bella and I passed Carlisle's father's cross at the end of the hall and began to climb the second stairway to our room.

But halfway up she tripped on her dress and sat heavily on her hip. I tried to help her to stand, but she resisted. I crouched beneath her on a lower step and was surprised to see quiet tears on her cheeks.

"Bella?" I asked as I wiped her tears with the backs of my fingers.

"No more tripping," she said, her voice eerily calm. "Ever again."

I nodded, feeling a dull, aching loss well up in my chest and throat. My eyes stung. "No more tripping," I agreed.

We held each other for a long minute. I tried not to think about all the things I would miss about her humanity, though I'd taken note of each little quirk since the day we'd met and knew I wouldn't forget a single one.

But Bella's tears stopped as quickly as they had begun. Jasper's influence aside, it was obvious to me that she did not wish to allow herself to indulge in self-pity. My heart twisted, and once again I found myself in awe of her courage.

"But just think." I sat back, stroking her cheek, and smiled. "No more me-having-to-save-your-life."

As I'd hoped, she laughed and shoved me good-naturedly in the chest.

"That, too," she breathed. "I think I owe you a few."

Our smiles dropped and we looked into each other's faces in the dark stairwell for a while. Then we stood at the same moment and continued climbing, hand in hand.

As soon as we were inside the bedroom I pulled the thick curtains across the long window. It was insult enough that there were strange vampires on our land, waiting for the word to attack; I wouldn't give them a peep show, too. Between the drawn curtains and the heavy fabrics hanging on the other walls, the room was as silent as a crypt, a morbid coincidence that wasn't lost on me. I switched on the lamp – a small, warm night light I'd put on the stereo cabinet months ago for Bella's benefit.

It would be easier for me to tune out the anxious voices downstairs with music; but, of course, after tonight's surprises, music didn't seem appropriate anymore. Anything I chose would seem trite and more than a little sickening, like Muzak tinkling mindlessly over a tinny intercom system in a fluorescent-lit grocery store just before a massacre. So I turned away from the stereo and didn't bother playing anything.

Bella had kicked off her satin flats and now clambered on top of the golden coverlet, the folds of her dress spreading like white flower petals on water at sunset. I stepped out of my shoes and joined her, sitting as close to her as I could. She began pulling pins out of her hair, letting her locks fall onto her shoulders and down her back; the scent of strawberries mingled with the unbearable ambrosia scent I wanted so badly.

"So, these surprise plane tickets … " Bella prodded, trying, I was sure, to lighten the mood, if such a thing was possible now.

I decided to go along. What choice did we have?

"You didn't think I'd let you get away without a honeymoon, did you?"

Bella sighed. "I suppose that would've been too much to hope for."

"You would have liked it."

She looked askance at me, but I pressed on.

"We were going to some of the popular places first – London, Paris, Brussels – because you said you'd never been there. I must admit I wanted you to be able to sample their cuisine, before – " I stopped abruptly and continued more brightly. "A bit of a whirlwind the first week, I'm afraid."

"I can't imagine _you_ taking me on a whirlwind trip," Bella said sarcastically, smiling. But her eyes were somehow shy as they looked at me. I knew she'd caught my slip.

I leaned closer, resting my hands on her knees, and tried to inject some intrigue into my voice.

"And then for the second week I was going to take you to County Donegal, in Ireland, where my grandparents – my mother's parents – were from."

"Yes?" Bella prodded, suddenly interested. Her hair was down now, and I ran my fingers through it, relishing the warmth at the nape of her neck. She hummed. "Tell me more."

"Mmm," I murmured. "It's unbelievably green there, and there are cliffs on the shoreline, and it's overcast a lot of the time – a glorified Forks, actually."

"Ah." Her eyes twinkled.

"There are castles everywhere," I went on. "It's like a fairy tale on earth."

"Sounds beautiful," she sighed.

"And the sheep are very friendly. You'd love them."

She managed to laugh. "The sheep?"

"They're very trusting. You'd have no trouble hunting there."

It was the first time I'd spoken so cavalierly of the future in her new life, and I swallowed. But if not now, when? Why not try to take the sting out of what was about to happen, now that it had to happen?

"They come right up to you," I said, trying to keep my voice light.

"Poor things." Bella frowned.

"Yes," I agreed, my voice faltering. "Poor things."

"But," she said, biting her lip, "they would've had a nice life before being hunted … wouldn't they?"

I smiled, feeling oddly emotional, as though we weren't actually talking about sheep anymore. "I hope so," I said fervently.

She nodded, her eyes glistening. "I'm sure they have."

We looked at each other silently. And then, suddenly, her lips were on mine, burning me with their intensity, and she was on her knees, taking fistfuls of my hair in her hands. I rose up to meet her kisses, and I threaded the fingers of one hand into her hair, used the other to pull her body against mine.

Somehow knowing that I had no choice but to turn her before dawn seemed to take away the blood lust I usually felt when she kissed me like this. I tried to be careful, knowing the venom could come at any moment; but it was impossible to refuse those kisses, and so I simply returned them hungrily, letting her lash my lips with her tongue, feeling a low groan beginning in my throat. I was completely in her control, and I surrendered helplessly, willingly.

Bella must have known she was being reckless because she pulled away, breathing heavily, watching my eyes carefully. With difficulty, I resisted the impulse to draw her back to me at once. I watched as she slowly unknotted my cravat and pulled it from my neck. I removed my jacket and tossed it to the floor. She unbuttoned my shirt, taking her time, her eyes never leaving my face.

I realized that she was trying to draw it out, to make it last. I couldn't argue; it was how I'd pictured it. It would be slow. Excruciating. Unhurried and deliberate satisfaction. That was what I'd wanted for her, for myself. We could still have that tonight.

So our lovemaking wasn't going to happen in the meadow, as Bella had wanted, under the stars and the clouds and the quilt from her bed, far from the acute hearing of my family. So instead of sleeping, Bella would lie awake dreading the burning pain of my teeth sinking into her before dawn. So there were strangers in our house, dictating how our married life was to begin. So none of these things were what we had wanted for our wedding night.

We were still together, and would be forever.

She sat back on her heels and I curled my body around hers, propping myself up on an elbow so that I could reach the buttons on the back of her gown. There were twenty of them, pea-sized and silk-covered, and I reveled in slipping each one from its buttonhole, kissing the places on her back I had revealed and delighting in watching Bella – my wife – shiver under my cool fingers as I peeled the dress off of her creamy skin.

Before long, between kisses and sighs and tremors, we were both naked. We'd only managed to reach this point twice before now, before my venom would drop uncontrollably and I would have to clamp my jaw shut to resist hurting her. During those two nights, we'd managed to pleasure each other to an extent, but we were unable to bring the pleasure to completion. I didn't know what would happen tonight when we finally consummated our marriage as we'd planned, as I'd promised; and I was afraid. But I was well aware that this was our only chance for Bella to have the one human experience she'd asked of me.

Bella must have sensed my hesitation, because she lowered herself to her back and tried not to move. My lips met hers and I felt her sweet wetness, below, as I pressed into her.

She placed her hands on my hips to guide them, and there was no mistaking what she wanted. There would be no fumbling with mouths or hands while I struggled in vain to keep my baser nature from ruining everything.

Perhaps this would be best – simply to go ahead and –

Her hips shifted and, unbelievably, I was slipping, so slowly, into her warmth, with no more fanfare than the look on her face, her eyes closing slowly and opening again, a beautiful, pained-looking smile as her body adjusted to the invasion of mine.

I trembled. My arms shook and my breath shuddered. But I moved slowly, gently, even as Bella's hands tried to press me further, deeper. I had to control this. I closed my eyes, astounded that the venom had not burst forth in my mouth yet. Perhaps the man was taming the beast after all.

I arched into her and kissed her, holding my body still while I did so, because I was not certain I could manage both kissing and moving at the same time. But her body writhed beneath mine, and I had to respond. It was awkward, initially, as we both figured out what to do, how to meet each other's hips, how long to allow our pelvises to linger before pulling slowly away and letting the measured thrust begin again.

Venom began to trickle slowly into my mouth. I ignored it.

Slow. Excruciating. Just what I'd wanted. And – judging by the look on Bella's face – just what she'd wanted, too.

I never sped up, never drove in any harder; I merely tried to gauge my motions based on what Bella's body seemed to be telling me to do. After a while, it became easier to follow her rhythms as her hands pressed into my back, my hips. And the sensations …

Despite the venom I now had to swallow away, despite the fact that my body was much too hard and cold and deadly, I'd never felt more like a man than I did at this moment.

Bella's eyes were vivid, locked on mine, and our ragged breathing met inside each other's mouths as we strained to get closer to each other.

And after a while, miraculously, something happened. Bella's eyes closed and her head turned away, her face burrowing into my neck. I felt a contraction around me, hard, and then another, and another, and she cried out and whimpered as her body finished coming undone beneath me, for me.

The venom came in force then, as I felt her rapture, her complete and utter vulnerability; but my man's body responded, too, and my lips found her neck as I lost myself in her, coasting over one surge after another after another. I was unable to help myself. Her pleasure triggered in me a complete loss of self, and it was glorious.

Afterwards, our bodies still joined, I lay panting on her; and I realized how silent and still she was, with her hand on the back of my neck.

My jaw was open, my poisonous teeth on her jugular vein, ready to send venom into her heart.

Something like a whimper came out of my throat when I exhaled, and I couldn't seem to drag my teeth away from her. My lips closed around the flesh there in a dangerous kiss. Her hand pressed into my nape, giving me her consent. I whimpered again, breathing harshly, willing my teeth not to bite. _Please, no, not like this_, I begged. _Let me choose this._

My tongue savored her, practically tasting the blood through her skin, and I groaned. Without my wanting them to, my teeth traced the line of her pulse, down her long, elegant neck, prolonging the moment. Without my permission, my hand slithered up her body and gently but firmly grasped a fistful of her hair, ready, I supposed, to snap her neck if she resisted.

_No. NO._

I shoved myself away from her, to the far edge of the bed. I was shivering and quaking, my breath ragged. I was so ruined that I could not speak. My hands were in front of me, shaking uncontrollably, and I kept them there to keep Bella away. How could we ever have thought we should do this in the meadow, away from my family, the only beings who could stop me?

Bella sat up, slowly, and did not try to approach me. Her perfect, fragile body was shaking, too, her eyes wide and pleading.

"Edward, please."

I closed my eyes so that I wouldn't have to see her.

"Please."

I shook my head.

"We have to – "

"_No."_

Silence.

"You promised."

I nodded, eyes still closed.

A sob.

Then, desperately, _"Don't let them take me from you."_

My eyes flew open, realization dawning on me, though my body still shook with the longing for her blood. "Is that what you thought?" I asked through clenched teeth. "That I was refusing to – "

"Isn't that it?"

"_No,"_ I said, as gently as I could through the trembling. "No. I promised you that I would do it."

How could I explain?

I took several deep breaths, trying to force my body to stop shaking. Bella hugged her knees to her chest, her breath still shallow, her eyes expectant.

"I was not – in control – just then. I don't know if I – if I would have been able to stop." I was ashamed to say it, but it felt like the truth. "I could have kept drinking until I killed you."

We stared at each other in silence for a long time. I felt impatience pouring off of Bella in waves, but she said nothing.

Time passed. We lay down on the bed, facing each other, still not touching. I was more afraid than I'd ever been in my whole existence, and I didn't know what to do. I knew I had to change her, but I was terrified to try.

Another fifteen minutes went by in silence, and I began to feel I was in control again. I stretched my arm out toward her.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," I said, wretched.

She reached for my hand and held it. "Don't be."

"If we have to ask Carlisle – "

"No," she said, sitting up. "We don't need him."

I sat up with her.

"We've got time," she said. "It's hours before dawn. It will happen."

I sat up with her, feeling stronger now. "All right."

She looked at me, a challenge in her questioning gaze.

"_All right,"_ I said again, trying to sound more convinced.

I would – I _could_ – do this.

And even if I couldn't, I had to.

I leaned forward and kissed her. "If we get into trouble" – another kiss – "then you call out for Carlisle, just as we discussed. Don't forget."

"I know," she said, kissing me back, "I know, I remember. And Alice will see, too."

"Whatever you do, don't let me – " What was I saying? It shouldn't be her responsibility to stop me if I lost control. She _couldn't_ stop me.

"You won't hurt me," she said simply, as if she'd just read my mind. "You can't. Or I would have been dead twenty minutes ago."

Bella sat there unmoving, waiting, until I realized … she was right.

_She was right_.

I could have bitten her, but I didn't. I stopped myself, when it should have been impossible for me to do so. I certainly wasn't going to kill her. The very idea was repugnant to me. It was absurd to think that I ever could. She knew I couldn't. Her confidence in me was absolute; it shone from her eyes as she looked at me.

"I'm an idiot," I breathed.

"But you're catching on," she countered gently.

Perhaps I was. How could she see things in me that I couldn't see in myself? I ran my fingers through her hair. My grateful lips met hers again, and I felt every bit the fairy tale she thought she saw when she looked at me.

And then we clutched at each other, found ourselves tangled in the sheets and in each other's limbs, our fingers grasping, hands raking and pressing. We let our fingers and mouths explore each other's bodies now, but soon I was inside her again. It was rougher the second time, more frantic; and, once we were coupled, our lips never parted. Our throats uttered strange, primal sounds and we couldn't seem to get close enough. I still had to be careful not to hurt her; but the freedom, the thoughtless abandon I felt this time was exhilarating. The senses she aroused in my body were so blistering that I barely noticed the poison in my mouth. Again, Bella's body opened itself to me; and I focused only on her, watching her face as it contorted in ecstasy, like an angel being transported. My release was not long afterwards, and I kissed her lips repeatedly as she whispered my name, over and over again.

A thrill coursed through me as I realized that my deadly instincts had not disturbed our lovemaking this time.

I smiled at my flushing bride. "Getting better all the time."

Bella nodded, gasping. "Holy crow, you can say _that_ again."

"Want to do it again?"

We both laughed, falling on our backs on the bed and holding each other, panting, having almost completely forgotten about the tension we'd left downstairs. Perhaps Jasper was still focusing on us, even now. Or perhaps it was simply the thrill that a man and a woman feel when they finally give themselves over to the sensual pleasures nature intended for them all along.

While we caught our breath we talked about our wedding and how perfect the day itself had been, up until the arrival of our unwelcome visitors. We discussed Charlie and Renée and how we would try to correspond with them by letter and phone; they would see the drastic physical change in her, after I turned her, so personal visits would not be possible. We worried in vague terms about the treaty and the undeniable fact that none of us would ever be able to come back to Forks unless something changed for good; I didn't want to dwell on that tonight. We carefully avoided the subject of Jacob entirely, though I saw her absently fingering the little wooden wolf on her bracelet when we discussed the treaty.

Our voices became quiet as we speculated about the next three days. Even though we'd been through it a thousand times, I repeated – with an ache in my chest as I watched her anxious face – as many details as I could recall from my own transformation; and I told her again that I wouldn't leave her side even for a moment. And we talked about what would happen after the three days, how she'd have to feed, how I'd help her with that. The command to go to Italy in a week was problematic, but I told her that we could handle it. That they wanted all of us there troubled me more than I would ever tell her tonight.

And, indeed, though I'd joked about it, we did make love again in the wee hours of the morning. This time Bella was astride me, and it was breathtaking to let her take control. Though I didn't deserve it – had never deserved it – she gazed down at me as if I were some sort of god, some angel fallen to earth just for her. I marveled, speechless, as her perfect, soft hips under my stone hands figured out how to move, to please me so very exactly; and I couldn't help moaning as she coaxed another series of peaks from me, her dark hair hanging in my face like forbidden fruit, her own climax following mine this time. There was the venom, of course, but less of it, somehow; and I was able to master my impulses again without moving away from her.

Afterwards, my hands on Bella's face were gentle; they looked so _right_ there. I ran my fingers down the sweat on her neck.

Bella tore her eyes from me and looked at the clock on the stereo cabinet.

"Edward – "

"I know."

It was time. Suddenly, after months of waiting – and certainly before I thought I was ready – it was time.

I sat up, cross-legged, keeping her on my lap, and she wrapped her legs around me. We held each other, stroked each other's faces.

I gingerly took her wrist in my hands and kissed it the inner portion, feeling her pulse – and my hunger – quickening in anticipation.

I tried to keep my rational mind focused on the task facing me. I was still undecided about where, exactly, I should do it. Her wrist had smaller blood vessels, which might keep me from draining too much of her essence by accident. And at the same time I could keep my eyes on her, monitoring her complexion for an indication of blood loss, watching her expression for any subtle changes in her response – if I was able to maintain enough presence of mind to do so.

But the jugular vein in her neck was larger and closer to her heart. Placing the poison there, I had speculated aloud to Carlisle, might lessen the length of time of her suffering. I'd gone over and over this with Carlisle, and in the end he'd recommended the jugular, since we both knew he'd be there if necessary, and he could help me if things spun out of control.

He had faith in me. He said I could do it. He'd seen me resist taking all of Bella's blood after James's bite, and he was not troubled. Neither was Alice. But that didn't mean I shouldn't worry. This was different than what I'd done before, after James. And the future could change in a heartbeat.

I lowered Bella's wrist, watching the light glint off the diamond on her bracelet as her hand found my chest and rested there. I swept her thick hair off her shoulder and was dazzled by the way the warm light caught her skin; it glowed with a diffuse inner light. It mesmerized me. I kissed her collarbone, and the rush of blood just above it was overwhelmingly compelling. I felt dizzy.

Her neck, then.

I glanced up at her uncertainly.

"Are you ready?" I whispered, hardly believing what my mouth was saying.

Bella nodded, eyes wide. "Yes. Are you?"

I frowned, wondering why on earth she should think of _me_ at a time like this. "Yes." But my voice sounded meek.

She ran her fingers through my hair and I allowed myself to close my eyes for a moment, feeling the warmth of her hands, of her naked body against mine; and I took a long inhalation of her heavenly aroma.

I opened my eyes again. It would be dawn soon. We could no longer afford to wait.

"Alice?" I said quietly.

Her voice declared itself from amidst the hum of all the mental chatter downstairs.

_I'm here. Carlisle is with me. We're ready_. I heard her speak Carlisle's name, alerting him.

I ignored all the voices again and brought my attention back to Bella.

"She's watching. Carlisle is ready, just in case."

"Okay."

We gazed at each other. My thirst was impatient, excited, like a wild and unpredictable animal who saw that its master was about to lift the latch on its cage; but still I wished I could stop time in this moment so that I would never have to do what I was about to do.

"I love you," I whispered.

"I love you, too."

I kissed her lips, keeping my eyes on her face for as long as I could; but I had to force myself to carry on. Once I lowered my lips to her neck it would be easier, so I did. Bella threaded her fingers through my hair, just as she had when we'd made love, and I felt my eyes close as the venom dripped onto my tongue.

My arm tightened around her waist and my other hand fastened on the nape of her neck, to keep her as still as possible. My wits were escaping fast and I couldn't remember why I should grip her that way, but it seemed important.

Her pulse thundered under my lips and tongue, the nectar beneath her skin infusing me with desire. Now that I'd made up my mind to do it, the venom exploded in my mouth and I felt my mind slipping farther away.

My lips curled back. I positioned my teeth precisely over her delicate jugular and carotid. With a last thought, I ordered the beast in me to _remember to count_.

Ah, yes. The important thing I was trying to recall. I think I even said it out loud.

"_Please don't struggle."_

And then I sank my teeth into her tender flesh.

Bella gasped and held me tighter, her voice emitting the tiniest of exclamations. Some part of me knew I was hurting her, sensed her trembling; but she did not try to escape my iron grasp.

The sweetness … the perfume … the strength and viscosity of her blood were more exquisite than I'd remembered. It was like warm honey on my tongue, and I drew a deep draught of it into my eager mouth, savoring it before I swallowed and sucked in another heady mouthful, and then another, my tongue rolling over the wound wantonly. I could not resist. My rational self knew exactly how many times I could swallow before a human Bella's size would lose consciousness, and how many more before she would die. But I also knew I would take as much as I could, probably more than I should, even as I tried to tell myself not to.

Bella whimpered and shifted in my arms, and my body reacted reflexively: my back arched, then straightened as my steely arm slammed her torso against mine, knocking the air out of her. Some part of me knew that I shouldn't do that and was grateful that I hadn't heard the sound of ribs cracking, but it was too late; that was what I was supposed to do. I had to keep the prey – Bella, _Bella_ – immobile, incapacitated, mine. But after a few seconds, the human part of me was intensely relieved when I felt her breath in my ear.

And yet I kept drinking, my body ignoring the warring instincts inside me.

I tasted the fresh blood of her carotid, the artery that carried life from her heart to her brain, and I tasted the used blood returning from her brain to her heart through the jugular vein. Ironic, in a dreadful way: I was finally, after a fashion, sampling her thoughts. Though I still did not know what they held, I knew they tasted divine, an Elysian reward for my sinful existence.

But while the small, lucid portion of my mind considered these things, the larger portion simply suggested, _Take it all._

I took one more mouthful of that perfect blood and commanded my body to stop. That was seven, wasn't it? I wasn't sure. It could be six, or eight … or ten. I found myself swallowing another mouthful while I was trying to figure it out. _No. Stop it. Stop now._ Seven mouthfuls, I'd promised myself, no more, no more than seven, a conservative amount. It was impossible to stop, and my lips quivered over her broken flesh … but stop I did. My body begged me for more, and my brain reasoned that one more swallow wouldn't hurt anyone; but I wouldn't.

I held my mouth over the wound and waited for it to repair itself, which it would do quickly. Rapid healing was another property of our venom; the healing made certain my quarry couldn't waste her essence by bleeding to death if my attention was diverted elsewhere temporarily. I felt the blood vessels mending under my tongue; and the river of blood that had flooded my parched mouth became a rivulet, then a trickle … then it stopped altogether.

It was painful, the most painful thing imaginable, not tasting her any longer; and I nearly wept with rage and anguish. It was all I could do not to open the wound afresh and start again, taking what I so desperately wanted.

My breath came in frenzied gasps as I kissed a bloody mess around the wound and then licked it clean, like a madman unable to leave the thing that had made him so.

But then I felt Bella's head loll backward into the hand that held her neck. My head snapped up, all of my unnatural instincts vanishing for the moment. She moaned and her eyes rolled back under heavy lids. I quickly lowered her to the pillow. Her legs slipped lifelessly from my waist.

"Bella?" I whispered, terrified. _"Bella?"_

She moaned again, her eyes closed.

"_Bella, answer me!"_

Panicked, I took a breath to call for Carlisle; but then she spoke.

"What?" She sounded far too normal for what I'd just done to her, almost as if she were talking in her sleep again.

"Are you – " _Fool_. Of course she wasn't all right.

Her eyes opened for a second, found mine, and closed again. Her face was too white, her skin moist and cold. "It's … the smell." She wrinkled her nose and tried to turn her head away from her own wound. "The blood. I feel …"

I tried to sound calm. "The wound is healing. You won't smell it in a moment."

She lifted a limp hand. "And your breath … " She raised her shaking fingers to my chin and feebly tried to push my face away. "I'm sorry … "

A rush of relief, like adrenaline, flooded me. This was Bella. I hadn't taken too much of her, and I closed my eyes in silent thanks, pressing my lips together in a thin line.

I realized she must be able to smell her blood in my mouth. No other human could catch the scent of blood the way Bella could, and that still confused me; I couldn't fathom what that might mean for her new life. Obligingly, I curled my body around hers and held her, my cheek on her right breast, farther from her nostrils, and tried to swallow the last drops of her precious blood away.

I pulled the covers over us, tucked them around her as best I could. I remembered shivering uncontrollably when Carlisle turned me, and I wondered when she would start to feel the chill. The poison would set her veins on fire first, making everything else seem cold in comparison… especially my frigid body. But, nevertheless, I held her tightly.

The taste was nearly gone from my mouth and it made me tremble. I wanted more.

"How did you … stop yourself?" she asked. Her voice sounded far away.

When I spoke, my breath tickled her damp breast and I saw her shiver.

"Easy," I lied, licking my lips and finding another drop there, which I swallowed as though I were starving. I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them again, concentrating. "I counted to seven." _I think._

"Oh," she laughed weakly, not understanding.

"I'll tell you later," I promised.

We were quiet for a few moments. My greedy tongue ran across my teeth, still searching for her taste. _Stop it,_ I demanded.

"Edward … "

"Yes?"

A pause.

" … _thank you … "_

Her left hand moved slowly to my cheek and caressed it. Then it rested above her other breast; Botticelli himself could not have painted more perfect fingers.

My thoughts stilled as I lay there and stared her hand, with my mother's ring on it, for a moment. A sudden, tearless sob wracked me, and I clutched her even more tightly to me, careful not to crush her still-fragile body.

She was my living, beating heart, and she'd offered herself to me utterly, body and soul – to _me_, an undeserving, damned fiend who knew nothing but how to _take_. How in the names of heaven and hell could Bella thank me, when she had given me _everything_ and I still wanted more?

But I could not afford to wallow, as Bella would say, right now. She needed me, and I had to be vigilant for her, and I would be.

Already her breathing was shallower, though she was trying to steady it. I raised my face to watch her, then sat up on my elbow to see her better. A sheen of sweat covered her upper lip and forehead. Her eyes were squeezed shut, her brow furrowed, as if in intense concentration. I knew she was fighting the pain … but the pain would win. I ran my hand down her cheek, her neck, rested it on her unmarred collarbone. The wound on the other side of her neck was a shredded, angry red; but it was closed. Her last human scar would fade, in time, once she was like me.

I became aware of birds chirping outdoors, of the sky lightening outside the curtains. It was dawn.

As I watched Bella, I tried to remember every painful moment of my own transformation. Time, unfortunately, was hazy during those three days, so I could not be sure when to expect her symptoms to declare themselves. I would call for Carlisle soon; he would have a better idea, would know what to look for. Whatever the case, I would remain here and do what was necessary.

Voices began to argue out loud downstairs, clipped and polite tones from Carlisle, drawling mockeries from Jane. It didn't matter to me what they were saying.

I held Bella close, stroking her hair. I tried to distract myself with a mental list. The burning would start soon, possibly in minutes, and would continue the entire three days. Then the shivering and spasming shortly thereafter. And the pain, first and last, the seemingly endless, unbearable pain; the persecution that would never cease, day or night; the hellish torture that felt like it was ripping my very blood vessels apart inside me, stretching out time, rearranging my sanity, calling into question everything I thought I knew about myself, about anything. It left me cursing God and wishing to die, _begging_ Carlisle to kill me.

That was what waited for Bella … and for me, her guilty spectator and accomplice.

Footsteps sounded on their way up the stairs. I recognized Carlisle's gait, but there were two unfamiliar ones – Jane's and Demetri's. They were nearly to the unlocked door now.

While I stared into Bella's pale face, noting vaguely my own trembling fingers on her cheek, I remembered feeling my own frail heart slow and eventually stop beating. Only then did the pain cease and become something … different.

_She_ was my heart now.

As penance for my selfishness, over the next three days, I would watch it die.

* * *

_**A/N: My sincere apologies for leaving our lovers in such an unpleasant situation. It will get resolved. In the meantime, if you liked this, reviews are always nice. ;)**_


	3. For Good

It was worse than my own transformation.

Having to sit by and _watch_, unable to do anything meaningful, to share Bella's pain, to comfort her in any way, was the most perverse of tortures. All I could do was witness it, and wait.

Morphine, we knew from our spectacularly failed experiment with Emmett, would only protract the pain, twist it into a sluggish and surreal throbbing agony – which, as Emmett had colorfully and deliriously informed us between angry screams, was, in a strange way, far worse than the stabbing, insistent torment he'd felt without the drug. And, ultimately, his transformation had taken nearly four days. It might not have had anything to do with the morphine – it might have been the strength of his human body, resisting – but we couldn't be sure. A study of one subject didn't mean that Bella would react the same way; but I wouldn't risk it, and neither would Carlisle.

So here Bella lay, two and a half days after our wedding, sweat-drenched and tangled in the sheets of our marital bed, alternately shrieking my name in pain and terror, and then pushing me blindly away when I embraced her, my own body too cold to hold her blazing one. She was incoherent, as I had been, and she whispered strange things under her breath, her eyes darting from wall to wall as if she read ghastly edicts there. She called out for Charlie and Renée and God and Jacob and even some of her classmates from time to time. She muttered the names of people and places I didn't recognize. She started sentences that she never finished, or finished hours later.

But she murmured Carlisle's name reverently, and almost smiled when she spoke Alice's. She asked for the rest of our family, even Rosalie, and they each came to her at once, whenever they were summoned, to hold her hand and speak softly to her, whether or not she seemed to hear them.

My name alone was a command on her lips during her most anguished moments and a mantra during calmer ones. It lilted and danced around nearly everything she said. She enunciated it more clearly than any other word, as if she were trying to remember it, or me.

I would not leave her side. Things were about to change, for good. Horrific as this was, I couldn't afford to miss a single moment. My hand was warm now from being wrapped around hers for the past two days.

"She's strong," whispered Rosalie, who was curled up facing Bella. Bella's other hand was on the pillow next to her face, and Rosalie held it.

Rosalie's body mirrored Bella's, both in a fetal position, oriented toward each other. I had taken advantage of the opportunity to wrap my body around Bella's back, keeping the covers wrapped tightly around her to try to quell her fevered chills. I had to change her into a fresh nightgown every few hours, once the one she wore was drenched in sweat. My own shirt was soggy, too, from holding her close. She had half-tugged this nightgown off her shoulder, and my face was buried in the dampness of her neck, had been for the past half hour.

"Yes, she is," I agreed. It was the first time I'd spoken in more than an hour, and I saw goose flesh rise on Bella's neck. I stopped breathing and pulled away from her a fraction of an inch, the better to keep her warm.

"_Edward,"_ said Bella, shivering.

I responded by squeezing her waist with the arm I had draped over her body, her hand still in mine. "I'm here," I said for the thousandth time.

Her body went into another sudden and horrific spasm then, and I held her tightly until it passed; it was a long one, more than two minutes this time. It finally stopped, the seizure slowly transforming into intermittent tremors.

"_Edward,"_ Bella whispered, speaking each sound of the word so very distinctly.

"Yes, love." I hoped my presence was a balm to her, but I could not be sure.

She sighed, and her breath rattled as it came out. I felt her heart's rhythms becoming frenzied again as she went into tachycardia. Then, for a brief time, the hammering stopped entirely. I froze, then rose up on my elbow, watched her closed eyes with excitement and dread. Two and a half days. Was she already …?

But then the beat started again, a heavy and persistent _thump-THUMP, thump-THUMP_ that seemed like it never wanted to stop_._

My eyes met Rosalie's.

_You're strong, too,_ she thought, just before she looked away, back to Bella. It was a statement of fact, not a compliment. She probably hadn't meant for me to hear it, but of course she knew I had.

Terrified, Rosalie had been unable to watch the horror of Emmett's suffering, and she had left his care to Carlisle, Esme, and me. She'd felt more monstrous and worthless wandering the house and the forest over those four days than she'd ever felt for as long as I'd known her, or since.

I was beginning to understand what that was like.

Rosalie spoke slowly. "At first, I didn't think Bella could possibly have wanted this. Not really. I thought she was being rash, like I – " She was silent again. "And of course I … after Emmett ... but now …" Her thoughts continued when her frowning mouth could not. _After my own change – after Emmett's – I wouldn't have wanted this for anyone. But even through all the screaming, she never bargains or begs. It's like she welcomes this, even now. I don't understand_.

"I know," I said. "I don't understand either. Although – "

Rosalie watched me expectantly. But I couldn't admit to her how undeniably thankful I was, how I would owe Bella for all of eternity. I couldn't say it because I knew Rosalie wasn't grateful to Emmett in the same way. She was glad, of course, that he was with her; and she did love him, couldn't go on without him. But she hadn't watched his sacrifice, didn't know the exact breadth and depth of his love for _her_, which he had somehow discovered and clung to even in the midst of his four days of hell. He had asked only for her, and she hadn't been there; but to him that didn't matter.

I felt sorry for Rosalie: she really should know how Emmett adored her. But you couldn't tell someone these things and expect them to believe you. They'd have to figure it out for themselves.

I knew that better than anyone.

I would never be able to make this up to Bella. But I would spend the rest of my existence trying to make things right, because I was witnessing now, before my undeserving eyes, the vast, incomprehensible scope of her love for me as she lay dying in my arms. She'd tried to tell me, but I didn't truly realize until this moment how she loved me, loved me, loved me.

I buried my face in Bella's hair again so that Rosalie couldn't see my face. We were quiet again.

I couldn't keep my family away. Bella deserved to have them near her. There was no way to keep my pain to myself.

But this – all of it – was too private to share.

"_Mom,"_ Bella said, and I felt her hand under mine reaching for Rosalie.

"It's okay," said Rosalie. She stroked Bella's cheek, continuing to hold onto her other hand on the pillow. "Shhh."

"_Edward." _The word was hardly a breath on Bella's lips.

"I'm here." My voice cracked.

"_The meadow."_

I paused, waiting for my voice to work again. "We'll be there soon."

"_The sun."_

I was silent.

"_You are …"_

I was nothing.

"_You are …"_

I clutched her tighter.

"_My bright …"_

I shook my head, felt her hair caressing my face, my dry, stinging eyes squeezed shut.

There was a long pause between each of her words.

"_You … you … mine … the sun … we'll go … won't we … and it's all … it's all …"_

"Yes, love," I whispered, barely making a sound. "We'll go."

My hand tightened around Bella's, and I felt Rosalie's settle on top of mine. She gave it a gentle squeeze. I kept my eyes shut, my face hidden in Bella's hair.

Bella's sudden scream rent the silence, and her body stiffened, straightening rod-rigid, her hands dropping ours and fisting at her sides.

And for the first time, she begged.

"_NO NO NO NO NO. Please. Please. STOP. I can't. Stop it stop it stop it Charlie make it stop please please someone please Edward I can't I can't …"_

Bella's cry for Charlie triggered a strong reaction in Rosalie, and her thoughts were suddenly even more sympathetic. "I'll get Carlise," she said, trying to disguise the alarm in her voice with a forceful tone. And she was gone.

I kept Bella on her side and tried to still her quaking body with my own, murmuring into her ear; but of course she couldn't hear me over her own shrieks and cries.

Then Carlisle was there with us, hovering next to the bed, waiting. He knew better than to interfere until I asked him to. Bella's howling went on and on. I tried singing to her, which had seemed to work once yesterday; but her screams continued, so instead I kissed her, pressed my cheek to hers.

Suddenly she halted with a gasp, turned her head, and her wild eyes met mine, lucid for the moment. She was truly seeing me for the first time in fourteen hours. Her irises, I saw, were reddish-brown now, and they pierced me.

"Edward," she said, surprised, her voice honey and velvet, not hoarse, like I'd expected. "You're really here."

"I said I'd never leave you again."

I tried to smile, even though my mind was reeling at the sight of the red in her eyes, the new music in her voice. It couldn't be long now. I felt Carlisle watching Bella intently, and his thoughts told me I was right.

I stroked her face. "Are you – awake?" I asked for want of a better word.

She slipped her hand from mine and placed it on my cold cheek, burning me with her touch. Her fingers snaked around to the back of my neck and pulled me to her, her eyes unguarded, beseeching.

Carlisle crossed the room to hover just outside the door, trying to offer us privacy while I kissed her.

Bella's fevered lips devoured mine for the first time since just before I bit her. It was horrible, and wonderful; I wanted so badly for her pain to be over, for this to be just another kiss, not merely a life raft in the center of a vast ocean of horrors in which she would continue to drown, unsavable.

As I kissed her, silent tears began to roll down out of her eyes and into her ears. Her tears smelled different today, and soon they would stop altogether. I wiped and kissed them all away, swallowing what I could even though they tasted strange to me, murmuring her name, telling her I loved her.

She whimpered. "It hurts." Her frightened voice, for a moment, sounded small and pretty, like a little girl's.

My face twisted, but I kissed her again. "I know, love." Another kiss. "I know it does. I'm so sorry – "

"I'm dying."

Something inside my chest contracted, felt like it was turning me inside out; but Bella's lips were on mine again before I could respond. A low, guttural keening sounded from her throat as her lips moved over mine, tears no longer spilling from the corners of her closed eyelids. I felt worthless, so undeserving of these desperate, final kisses; but I couldn't stop, and she wouldn't release me. So I clung to her as helplessly as she did to me.

But as suddenly as the kisses had started, her head whipped to one side and she snarled, eyes squeezed shut. She took a deep breath and tried, growling, to contain the scream that was building. Her body contracted hard, knees to chest, and her fingernails reached for her own face. I couldn't watch her do that, so I held her wrists down on the pillow as she thrashed and howled in agony, her voice finally releasing in an inhuman screech, though her body was imprisoned once more by the endless, scorching pain. She bucked and twisted and kicked beneath me, sending the damp sheets to the floor once more; and I had to cover her bare legs with my own to keep her from flinging herself off the bed.

It was a struggle. She was much, much stronger today than yesterday.

Now Bella gritted something – a new mantra – from between her clenched teeth, and it took me several seconds to make it out: _"Take me take me take me take me take me … "_

I knew she meant her death, the temporary one that would herald her new existence. She was wishing for it now, and I – I couldn't deny it – wished it for her.

She began to settle down, breath hissing in and out between her teeth, and I held her body close, releasing her wrists. One hand found the fitted sheet beneath her and began picking at it absently, incessantly – a sign, I knew, of impending death. I resisted the impulse to cover her hand with my own to stop the movement.

A flicker of Jane's impassive face flashed through my mind: Jane, as she'd stood authoritatively in the doorway of our bedroom with Carlisle and Demetri, the Volturi tracker, two mornings ago.

"So much better than death," she'd said with satisfaction, a smirk curling her full lips as she eyed me hovering over my wounded and vulnerable bride, her delicate neck a shredded, bloodied, black-and-blue mess. Jane's voice was all praise, as if I'd just baked a cake. "Well done, Edward."

I'd wanted to kill Jane then and there, and if Bella hadn't needed me I doubt Carlisle – or anyone else – could have stopped me from trying. Fortunately, a few hours later, when we no longer could have removed the venom coursing through Bella's system, she and Demetri had decided it was safe to leave us to deal with Bella alone. I didn't know what sort of state I'd be in now if they, and the ten other guard members they'd brought with them, had remained on our property.

And we were still expected to go to Italy in less than a week – Bella, myself, all of us. It couldn't be good.

If they tried to take Bella from me …

Well. I would do whatever was necessary to prevent that from happening.

Bella was quiet again, her breath suddenly very shallow, her chest only rising and falling every fifteen seconds. Her heartbeat had slowed to a melancholy throb. When she was still, it was difficult not to notice how much paler her skin was now, how marble-like; it was harder than it had been this morning.

When we went back to our meadow, she would outshine me.

I buried my face in her neck. Everything was the same and yet utterly different. Her perfect blood was nearly all consumed by her new body; and what there was left of it, like her tears, smelled odd now – weaker, older. Diminished.

Soon there would be no human scent about her at all.

Yet, somehow, this no longer distressed me. Seeing her endure her last human pain during these interminable hours made me long for her humanity to dwindle as quickly as possible. I wanted her strong again, stronger than she'd been before; and I began to embrace the idea of her immortality with a surprising fervor.

The wound on her neck was still ragged, but today the scar was a shiny pale pink instead of the angry red it had been two days ago. The bruises around it had gradually shifted from blue to violet to yellow, like a sunrise over the ocean, until they had disappeared entirely. I kissed the faint scar and left my mouth there, breathing in her changing scent, learning her anew.

Carlisle was beside us again. _It will be over soon, Edward,_ he thought. _It is good. She only suffered for two and a half days._

I nodded, not bothering to lift my lips from Bella's throat.

Carlisle sat in the chair next to the bed and sighed. I did not move, or look at him. He kept his thoughts quiet for me, and I was thankful for that; but I did hear him muse, awed, _She is impatient for this_.

Another hour passed, and then two. Bella's face became the picture of concentration, eyes closed, lip bitten, though her body shook terribly as I held her. She wouldn't cry out.

Slowly, over another hour, the perspiration ceased and her skin cooled as the sweat evaporated.

She did not shiver any more. She was slipping inward now, and I knew the screaming and thrashing was past us. Her breath sounds became softer and softer, her heartbeat less regular. There was hardly any coursing of blood through her veins now; to my ears, it was more of a sloshing sound, like a few drops of water swirling in a little stone bowl just before it was tipped over and emptied.

At last, I felt Bella turn her head, so I lifted my face from her neck to look at her. Her irises were a deep burgundy now as she gazed at me, looking as deeply into my eyes as she had done during our wedding ceremony. She seemed to be trying to remember to breathe, and her heartbeat was very faint now, only asserting itself a few times per minute. It was astonishing that she was still conscious. I held her face in my hands and kissed her lips again and again.

She placed her hands on my jaw and mouthed the words: "I'm ready."

I whispered back, "I am, too," though it hurt my throat to say it.

"Really?" she whispered. Her eyes brightened unexpectedly.

I nodded. "Yes, Bella. I'm ready for you."

"Good," she murmured. "Because … "

We shared a long, surreal moment, gazing at each other. She didn't seem to have noticed that she hadn't finished her thought.

Then the corners of her lips raised in almost a smile, and then her eyes slowly unfocused, fixing me out of sight, in a sightless glaze. Her hands went slack on my face, and her fingers trailed down my jaw and fell onto my chest. There was no more heartbeat. She exhaled sweet breath into my face and did not breathe again.

As simple as that.

I stared into her open, unseeing eyes, a storm of emotions suddenly twisting my insides and sucking them, struggling, toward new places, dark and light. I wouldn't let go of her face. My own breathing rasped erratically, too rapidly. Someone was calling Bella's name over and over again, and it dawned on me that the voice was mine.

_Wait,_ thought Carlisle, leaning forward in his chair. _Let her be_. I nodded dumbly, pressing my lips together to keep from shouting her name, not taking my eyes from Bella's blank ones. _She'll be back soon,_ he assured me.

But when? Though it had taken Rosalie only minutes to return to her body, Emmett was gone for hours.

Bella wouldn't remember this part – she would only remember the pain and then the absence of it – but I would never be able to forget her transition, these moments when she was neither alive nor undead, while her presence – or whatever it was – waited to wake up inside her cold body.

My jaw tightened. I wanted her back _now_. It was too quiet in the room, too still. I wanted my wife with me. Looking at Bella like this was all wrong. She was gone.

The minutes dragged on, and I thought I would go mad. I only had one thought, and it consumed me: _Come back, come back, come back to me …_

I sat up and pulled Bella's lifeless body into my lap, turning away from Carlisle as I rocked her and stroked her hair, kissed her fingers and her lips obsessively, as if my touch could somehow draw her back to me. I felt my body shaking with dry sobs, my lips trembling over hers, her sweet lips, which were now as icy as mine.

I couldn't stand being watched any longer.

"Leave us," I hissed at Carlisle.

His thoughts were calm. _I can't do that_.

"Get _OUT!_" I snarled, whipping my head to the side. From the corner of my eye I saw him sitting as still as a statue in the chair.

_No, Edward._

Growling, I turned away again, held Bella closer. I hid my face in her neck.

_She may be stronger than you when she comes back, with the power of the newly born. You'll need someone here to help you. _ He didn't want to think the next part, but he couldn't help it, just as I couldn't help hearing him. _She might run off and hurt someone._ His thoughts guarded themselves once more.

He was right, of course. Bella needed him. I was clearly a mess, and I couldn't do it alone. I sobbed, hating that Carlisle had to see me this way. If my eyes could produce tears, Bella's neck would be wet with them by now.

My family was waiting at the foot of the stairs, as they had been for hours. I had told Jasper weeks ago not to interfere with my emotions, insisting that I must experience this fully. We both knew my demand was unnecessary, but I had to say it. It was part of my need to try to plan this out as fully as possible. He wouldn't have meddled, but he'd graciously nodded in agreement anyhow.

I could only imagine how he was feeling now, with my teetering on the edge of madness, my emotions razing the house like a tornado.

Alice would alert him and they would come to us, when the time came. An insane impulse to run with Bella into the woods lashed through me, but naturally I knew I couldn't. In this state, she wasn't mine to keep from them, and I shouldn't keep them from her.

The minutes dragged on. Five. Ten. Fifteen. I couldn't stop rocking her, because I didn't like her stillness, her deadness, the silence. I whispered into her ear what we'd do when she was better, places we'd go and things I'd show her. My teeth chattered as though I was cold, but it was merely fear. Though I knew she wasn't really gone forever, there was some part of me that was terrified of that very thing, afraid that I had, in fact, killed her for good. It would serve me right, after all, for my greed and selfishness. Would I never be satisfied?

She had to come back before the grief and the terror made me lose my mind.

At long last, a sudden gasp seemed to pull all the air from the room, and Bella's eyes widened and filled with light again.

_Thank you thank you thank you,_ I thought.

I exhaled in gratitude, the trauma of the past few minutes making my whole body quake … but I didn't have time to feel relieved yet. Bella stiffened in my lap, breathing far too quickly, and her eyes darted around wildly. Her hand clawed at her chest – feeling, I knew, for her missing heartbeat.

"Look at me, Bella," I commanded. Now that she was here with me again, now that I had a purpose, somehow I knew what to do. My voice sounded strong, confident.

I tried to turn her face towards mine, but she resisted. Carlisle was on Bella's other side now. Her eyes lighted everywhere in the room except on me and Carlisle, almost as if the two of us were too complex for her to take in just yet.

"Come on now, Bella," I tried again, touching her cheek more firmly. "I'm here."

A keening began, deep in her throat, as she tried to make sense of herself. Suddenly, one arm thrust out and pushed me back, hard, and in the span of one millisecond I hit the carpet and skidded across the floor toward the window; in the next moment she was standing above us on the bed, perfectly still, her hands reaching for the window and the woods beyond. She crouched, ready to leap through the nearly-invisible glass.

Before she could move again, Carlisle had leapt up and cradled her body against his own, and Jasper was in the room, with a tense Alice right behind him. I felt a sense of calm nestling over me, and I saw Bella relax – but only slightly – in Carlisle's arms. Sinking swiftly to one knee, he lowered her to the bed before she had a chance to react. I recovered quickly, and the two of us held Bella down as she shrieked and moaned, gasping as if she were hyperventilating. Her body undulated as I pressed into her to keep her torso and legs immobile. It was an effort to keep her from pushing me off, even with Carlisle holding her arms.

Jasper approached the bed and touched Bella's forehead as though he were about to christen her; but she pulled away from him, hissing, a subtle decrease in her respiratory rate the only indication that his power had had any effect on her at all.

"Bella. _Bella_. Look at me." I put a hand on her jaw and ducked my head to try to make her eyes meet mine.

"Is it … is it … am I …" she gasped in between breaths. Her eyes were everywhere but on me.

"Yes," I assured her quickly. "Yes. It's over."

"I'm – "

"Yes. You're like me now. You're one of us."

Bella's gasps turned into true hysteria as she sat up and wriggled free of Carlisle's iron grip. She clutched at my shirt, ripping the fabric as if it were made of tissue paper and popping several buttons off, wildly laughing and crying at once. The combination of distress and jubilance in her voice was the most unsettling sound I'd ever heard, and I prayed for her to come back to herself quickly. I gripped her shoulders to keep her still, my voice murmuring low in her ear, though I had little idea of what I was saying … and then, quicker than a bolt of lightning, she wrapped her arms around me, so very tightly that I couldn't have escaped even if I'd wanted to. She panted, her head against my chest, still unable to control her emotions; and I craned my neck to see her nostrils flaring, her ruby red eyes glistening with an unspeakable rawness as they stared through the window at the trees and the river beyond. I held her shaking body close. Though she was quiet now, she still hadn't looked at me.

I glanced anxiously at Carlisle.

_I've seen it before,_ he thought. _It's normal._ There was a hesitation, and his thoughts were defensive for a moment; but then he released them to me. _Esme reacted the same way after her change_.

He looked at the hands folded in his lap, then closed his mind to me once more, but not before I caught a glimpse of him racing on foot in the moonlight after the newborn Esme, both of them speeding along a deserted road toward town, a strange desperation on Esme's face, abject terror in Carlisle's heart.

My eyebrows raised. In a thousand lifetimes I could not imagine Esme thrashing in hysterics, much less running away from Carlisle to satisfy her blood lust. It was nearly as difficult to imagine as Carlisle making a mistake.

I turned my eyes back to Bella.

My own awakening, and Rosalie's, had been almost peaceful compared to Bella's. And after the burning pain ceased, Emmett's transformation, possibly because of the morphine administered to his human body prior to his death, was positively tranquil. But Carlisle, whom I suspected had already begun to fall in love with the human Esme before he'd found her at the foot of the cliff, had not allowed me into the room when Esme had transformed; he had sent me miles away, to hunt. Upon my return, I'd interpreted his upset as worry for Esme, for he had guarded his thoughts on the subject of her transformation very closely, and had ever since.

It had been unwise to send me away, I saw now. He hadn't anticipated chaos, and certainly that was why he insisted on being here with me now. How near had Esme gotten to town that night? How close had they come to absolute disaster?

I didn't look at him again, but I murmured, "Thank you, Carlisle." I clutched Bella more tightly.

Carlisle nodded and stood up, rubbing his hands together absently and focusing his attention outside the window, his thoughts still careful.

Bella's tremors slowly subsided, and I relaxed my hold on her slightly. She did not try to escape. I became aware of her ruby eyes on Carlisle as he stood facing away from her. She looked at Jasper and Alice, standing side by side next to our bed. Alice offered Bella a small smile, and Jasper appeared still to be concentrating on Bella, his gaze focused and intense.

Bella slowly turned her face towards my chest, and I felt her cool breath on it. Her eyes traveled upward to my neck, my chin, my lips, as if she were seeing me for the first time. When she looked into my eyes, she smiled.

I remained still, unable to breathe.

Impossibly, though she'd always been the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen, she was now, even with her crimson irises, more beautiful than before. I felt naked under her gaze.

"Edward," she whispered.

"Yes," I whispered back, not trusting my voice. "I'm here. I will not leave you."

"I'm sorry I … misbehaved just then."

"Shhh." I kissed her hair, her forehead.

She was still agitated; but she seemed in control at the moment, and her intonation when she spoke again sounded almost like her old self. "I'm just … oh, God … " Her brow furrowed and she looked suddenly ashamed. If she could have blushed, her cheeks would have blossomed with color.

"What?"

"_Thirsty,"_ she admitted, stricken, her voice barely audible.

"I know," I said, stroking her hair. "It's normal."

Carlisle glanced at Alice, who nodded. Without looking at us, he slipped quietly from the room. He would stay close. His thoughts reminded me that Bella would have to feed soon. Jasper and Alice followed him silently.

When they were gone, Bella sighed. We were quiet for a long while, simply looking into each other's eyes. "It's done," she said.

"For better or worse," I said, and I thought of our wedding vows three days ago.

"For good," Bella said. And I got the impression she meant "good" in the positive sense, not the permanent one … though I could not deny the pleasure I felt at the permanent aspect.

"Yes," I said, kissing her cheek, the corner of her mouth. "For good."

"Edward," she whispered.

"Yes, love?"

Her voice trembled. "Kiss me like you mean it."

We looked into each other's eyes, and I saw that she was more than serious. She was desperate.

At once I gave her my lips, and slowly we explored the newness together, the flavor, the cold, firm skin. I could kiss her harder now, and I reveled in letting myself fall into her. Our tongues, finally, after so very long, met safely against each other's teeth, inside each other's mouths; and she tasted so divine that I nearly whimpered with longing. It was a new sweetness, certainly; but she was still Bella, and she was what I'd wanted all along. She was mine before this; she was still mine, would be mine forever, just as I would belong to her for all of eternity. All of my gratitude, all of my pent-up fears, were released into this kiss, and I felt my body – and hers – shuddering with a primal need.

But I felt her fingers shaking as they wound through my hair, and I knew I had to stop.

"Bella," I whispered between kisses.

"No," she said, stubborn as always.

"You have to hunt."

"Later."

"_Now_."

She moved so that she was in my lap, and I groaned. Even now, after the horrors she'd been through, the nightmares I'd forced myself to witness, it was impossible not to respond to her body.

"I want you," she murmured, kissing me with intent.

To say that I wanted her, too, would have been a gross understatement. After the past few days, there was nothing, _nothing_ I wanted more than to take her, to reassure myself that nothing had really changed about us except her resilience. I wanted to make love to her for a week, a month if I could, maybe longer. We were still newlyweds, after all; and I wasn't nearly done exploring our potential heights of pleasure.

But now was most definitely not the occasion for such exploration.

"You've got plenty of time to have me," I insisted, and it was very difficult for me to pull away from her lips. "But things are going to get dangerous very soon if we don't get you dressed and outside."

"Please?"

Her voice was velvety soft and nearly irresistible. It was as if all the charms of her human voice had been multiplied a thousand times, and I knew then and there I'd have to work very hard not to become her eternal slave, though that fate didn't sound half bad.

I closed my eyes and exhaled. "As soon as you've hunted, I promise I am yours to do with as you wish."

She became quiet, looking down at my bare chest and open, torn shirt, the buttons conspicuously absent from when she'd wrenched at it.

Her voice was timid. "I'm scared … to … to do that. To hunt."

"Oh, Bella," I said, taking her face in my hands, though she wouldn't look at me. I spoke with confidence, because it was what she needed. "You'll be fine. We'll go to a safe place. I'll be with you, and so will the others."

Her eyes darted up to mine and then lowered again, shy, her long lashes resting on violet shadowed skin.

Calmly, I pressed on. "You won't be alone. I'll show you. Not that you'll need much guidance from me." Her thirst would be all the help she'd need for feeding. I would only be there to teach her how to better avoid detection by humans.

Her brow furrowed and she squeezed her crimson eyes shut, then opened them again, blinking. "This has really happened, hasn't it?"

I nodded, watching her reaction carefully.

She sighed and touched the fading scar on her neck as she mustered a smile for me.

"Well, then, I'd better get dressed."

My eyebrows raised.

She wasn't fighting me.

Perhaps, now that she'd gotten what she wanted – a life eternal, with me – she would be more agreeable in general. I wouldn't hold my breath, though, for her feistiness to have disappeared entirely; I wouldn't want to see it go, after all.

Or perhaps she was terrified, just as I had been before my first kill. Perhaps she yearned to finish it quickly. The nearly limitless power and the unfamiliar instincts were frightening; and doubtless she didn't know what to expect from any of it yet. But once again she was leaping bravely into the unknown, shooting a smile at me as if all of this were natural.

I watched, dumbfounded, as she amiably went to the dresser, opened a drawer, and retrieved a pair of jeans and the blue sweater she'd left here a few days ago. In that simple movement, it was as if nothing had changed at all. But before she had a chance to remove her nightgown and put the clothing on, she sank to her knees, trembling, her vermillion gaze staring into the middle distance.

I crouched at her side instantly. "What is it?"

"My clothes," said Bella, aghast. "This is what I smelled earlier. When I tried to jump out the window. This is what I wanted to … to hunt. Out there."

Now, sitting next to her and inhaling her old scent, the scent I was so used to, I remembered that I'd stupidly forgotten to wash her clothes. My face fell as I berated myself. They still smelled like her former self, like a _human_. No, not just a mere human: the most delicious and sweet creature who has – _had_ – ever existed.

She buried her face in the sweater and inhaled. "Oh, God." Her muffled voice shook.

"Here," I said, pulling them out of her hands, setting a mask of poise on my face. "We'll borrow something else from Rosalie." She surrendered the clothes reluctantly.

"I smelled so _good_," she said softly. It wasn't a statement of vanity; it was one of horrific realization.

"You still do," I said, trying to make light of her discovery. I brushed her cheek with my fingers and kissed her gently, feeling her lips tremble under mine.

Rosalie had heard me speak her name, as well as the request that followed; and now she rummaged through her closet looking for something suitable for hunting. I would ask her to take these clothes away for washing. Their scent would fade in time, and there was no use clinging to what was past. The house could do with a thorough cleaning, as well. And our bedsheets, of course.

Her scent was everywhere.

"It must have been impossible for you – " Bella went on.

I shook my head, forcing a smile. She could never know how hard it had been; I would never tell her. Although I had to consider the fact she probably knew now, anyhow, so there was no point in discussing it.

"It all worked out, didn't it?" I asked gently.

And it had, really. Despite my fears, my constant terror that I would lose control, I hadn't accidentally killed her. On the contrary, I'd done it quite on purpose, and with her permission. That was the nature of our dangerous love, and had been all along.

Bella threaded her fingers through my hair. We watched each other silently, and I thought of what she'd sacrificed for me. For us. For good.

"It all worked out," I said again, shifting so that my face was closer to hers.

"Yes," she breathed into my waiting lips. "Yes, it did."

Before I let her kiss me, I whispered, _"Thank you."_

* * *

_**Author's Note: Many thanks for reading the third part of this story! If you enjoyed it, I must admit that I like reviews better than yellow Porsches. ;)**_


	4. Mastered

"So. Bella."

Emmett's voice was as matter-of-fact as I'd ever heard it, but I wanted to shut him up before he said anything else. I knew, of course, what was coming.

"There are some things you two should know before we go hunting."

I cleared my throat meaningfully, but Emmett ignored me.

"Emmett, I warned you," muttered Rosalie as she slid into the passenger seat.

Bella and I climbed into the back seat of the Jeep behind them. I tried to distract myself by buckling Bella in. It was habit, I realized too late; but she let me do it anyhow, even though she didn't need protection any longer. She looked tiny in Rosalie's clothes, but wearing her own human-scented ones was not an option; merely being in the same room with them had roused her bloodlust. Now she stared down at her cold, white hands, and I caught one of them in my own, trying simultaneously to tune out Emmett's thoughts and to will him to stop talking by glaring at him in the rear view mirror. I knew both efforts would be futile.

"What?" asked Emmett, his profile angelic as he smiled at Rosalie. "They need to be prepared."

I saw Rosalie roll her eyes just before she turned away to stare out the passenger window. "It's your funeral."

Emmett loved it when Rosalie threatened him, and a sudden and vivid image of the two of them copulating violently next to the hulking corpse of a shared grizzly ripped into my mind.

I growled. "Will you please tell your husband to turn his thoughts down a notch?"

Rosalie stared at Emmett in horror. "Stop it!" She smacked Emmett's arm and he chuckled, starting the engine. "Whatever it is you're remembering, _stop_."

Now several more graphic images flooded me as Rosalie unconsciously wondered what smut Emmett might be picturing.

I covered my eyes … not that that would help.

"Aw, sweetheart, it's not like I can stop thinking about it once it starts."

She raised one perfect, threatening finger and held it near his grinning face. "If you don't quit it _right now_, I'm going to give you something _else_ to think about."

"Ooo," he replied, enticed.

The images intensified.

"Please," I begged. "For my sake?"

"What are you talking about?" asked Bella, her attention finally directed to our quarrel.

"It's nothing, love," I whispered. "There's nothing to worry about." But of course her narrowed eyes let me know that she didn't believe a single word coming out of my mouth.

We sped down the highway while Emmett and Rosalie bickered. The mental images subsided as their argument escalated. In a strange way, I was thankful for their banter; it made what we were about to do seem almost normal. At least, I hoped it made it seem that way for Bella. But her eyes remained far away.

It was nearly sunset and the blue sky faded into orange over the treetops, deepening the blackness of the forest blurring past on either side. Fat, gray clouds hung low, hovering, waiting to burst. Alice had alerted us before we'd left the house, and once again she was right. There would be rain tonight. I turned and looked back at her driving my Volvo, with the rest of our family in it, behind us. _A thunderstorm will be good for you_, she'd said cryptically.

"He's right, though, Bella," agreed Emmett, bellowing over Rosalie and trying to bring their argument to a close. "Nothing to worry about. But I think it'd be better not to be caught off guard when – "

"Emmett," I interrupted, "isn't it possible that your experience is unique to you and Rosalie?"

Emmett's thoughts always ran like a film projector through my mind. The others – Jasper and Alice, Carlisle and Esme – were more careful with their thoughts after a private hunt. I didn't pry, because I didn't want to know. I knew part of the reason they went off in pairs to hunt from time to time was to have some privacy from my "gift," and from the acute hearing of the rest of the family. I didn't need to know the nature of their intimacy.

"Edward, Edward, Edward." Emmett shook his head. "Think about it. When _we_ go hunting" – he meant the younger males in our family – "we always wrestle and fight afterwards. Don't we?"

True. We couldn't control it. If we were near each other after feeding, it was a compulsion nearly as strong as the frenzy to kill, almost an extension of the instinct for blood. It was … fun.

I nodded once.

"And girls are no different. Right, Rose?"

Rosalie sighed heavily and glared out the window at nothing.

Emmett went on. "She and Alice have had some knock-down drag-outs. Haven't you, poopsie?"

"Oh, for Pete's sake," Rosalie grumbled.

"She doesn't want to brag," Emmett whispered, twisting around and turning his grin on us.

"Watch the road," Bella said automatically. Then she frowned, realizing. It didn't matter whether or not Emmett watched the road; his reflexes would be quick enough to react to anything, and we could survive anything. All of us, now. I squeezed her fingers. She stared at my hand crushing hers and her mouth opened slightly. I wondered what she was thinking.

The fight in the front seat went on. It was true that the girls had had some wild fights themselves. Even Carlisle and Esme would participate every now and then – Carlisle with us, Esme with the Rosalie and Alice – though I suspected they hesitated losing control in front of us because of the parental roles they'd assumed. But I'd repeatedly seen Alice's and Rosalie's contests of strength when they'd returned from a hunt. I was awestruck the first time I'd caught a glimpse in Alice's mind, and I couldn't help ransacking her thoughts for a while, trying to make sense of what I was seeing, until it occurred to me that they were merely acting out the same aggressive games that Jasper, Emmett, and I played. I remembered feeling moderately scandalized that women might have the same sorts of urges that rough boys had, and that they might, in fact, relish the physical outlet of a clash of force.

"And it's even more intense with mates," Emmett went on. "Isn't it, sweetheart?"

"You have no sense of romance."

"Aw, you know that's not true."

They kept on arguing.

"What's he saying, Edward?" Bella asked, her eyes wide on me. "Will we … will you and I … fight?"

"No," Rosalie and I said at the same time.

Emmett chuckled. "Hardly," he said.

There was no point in avoiding the discussion any longer. The best I could do was to try to steer it in a less lewd direction. I placed a hand on Bella's neck, my thumb on her jaw, bringing her face closer to mine, and I whispered directly into her ear, even though I knew it was pointless to whisper.

"After we hunt, we might be … overtaken … by …" I struggled to find the right word, one that wouldn't sound crass. "_… desire_."

In the few seconds that it took me to say this, I felt myself becoming agitated, almost electrified. Need began to scream through my body like a foreboding wind before a tempest. My lips parted, wanting to capture hers, and I imagined myself ripping through the unnecessary seat belt and –

Bella pulled her ear away from my mouth, and her red irises smoldered like burning coals. She knew I wanted her. Without question, she wanted me; heady scents roiled off of her like mist over a mountain. I could only imagine what I must smell like to her. I licked my lips. Rosalie and Emmett prattled on from the front, perhaps trying to afford us privacy while I explained things to Bella. But the very air around us seemed thicker now, ominous and promising, a pledge of wicked delight.

I didn't think I would, but I smiled. And Bella smiled back. I leaned into her and my body heaved with the effort of denying myself her lips; my hand, reaching across her body, clawed five imprints into the door. Oops.

"Your eyes are red," she whispered, her own crimson eyes boring into mine.

A brief jolt shook me, until I remembered. Yes. Two and a half days ago I'd drunk human blood. Bella's blood. Of course my irises would be red now. Something about that comforted me, for her, as though my eye color matching hers would somehow make her feel less alone, less frightened, less monstrous.

I pressed my lips very gently to hers and pulled away before she wanted me to, before I wanted to. I smiled into her frustrated face and turned to face Rosalie and Emmett, who were now arguing about their last anniversary. I tried to ignore the protests coming from my insistent body. Bella's breath was harsh and cool in my ear, along my neck. I held her hand and avoided her eyes, though she made that nearly impossible.

Finally we reached the wilderness preserve. We'd have little chance of encountering hikers or campers here. Emmett pulled into a parking spot in the visitor's lot and Alice pulled in next to us.

Carlisle and Esme climbed out of the Volvo and darted up the side of the mountain quickly, ahead of us. Bella must be faster than me now; and if something happened to distract her, to make her run away, Carlisle and I both wanted as many bodies as possible already on the mountain to catch her, whichever way she went. Next Rosalie ran up the rocks and roots under the threatening sky; she, too, would wait at a predetermined location on the craggy peak.

Alice and Jasper then set about pulling out our props from the back of the Jeep and the trunk of the Volvo. With so many of us here at once, it was important to establish a believable story; to that end, we would set up tents in a clearing, just in case a forest ranger or a hiker stumbled upon us. The tents would be especially necessary – for appearances, at least – with the coming thunderstorm. Alice regaled Bella with stories of the few times we'd actually had to use the tents and gear to reinforce the façade that we were merely camping. While she chatted, I saw Jasper's dark gaze settle on Bella several times.

Jasper and Alice needed to remain close to us. He would sense a change in Bella's emotional state even before she could make the decision to run; in that sense, in this situation at least, Jasper had an advantage over Alice. I knew he and Emmett weren't thinking today of the bet they'd made months ago, about whether Bella would be able to resist the temptation of human blood; but I knew they both worried that she would weaken. Emmett had more faith in her than Jasper did, but it didn't mean Emmett was willing to let her hunt alone anytime soon, either. They feared we might not be quick enough to stop her if something went awry.

_You're sure there are no humans here?_ asked Jasper silently as he strapped a backpack onto Alice. He glanced at me casually and I shook my head: none that I could sense within a few miles. He frowned and nodded. That would have to do.

"You ready to try out your legs?" smiled Emmett, his cheeks dimpling with enthusiasm as he shoved his car keys into the pocket of his jeans.

Bella, now even paler, didn't quite look ready for anything more frightening than hiding under the covers in our room. But she jutted her chin forward and nodded once, not wanting him to see her fear. I gave her waist a squeeze, reveling in the knowledge that I didn't have to worry about breaking a rib as I did so.

"I'll give you a head start," teased Emmett, the grin deepening.

He shot a glance at me, his rapid blinking giving away the fib, to me, at least. It was unnatural for him to lie, and we both knew it. But none of us wanted to remind Bella that she could outrun us, particularly given the way she'd tried, overwhelmed by the need to sate her thirst, to leap from the bedroom window immediately after her transformation. If Carlisle hadn't been there …

"I dare you to beat him," I whispered in her ear. "He needs to be taken down a peg or two."

Despite her trepidation, Bella's old smile graced me then, and I felt a grin blossom on my lips in response.

"Come on," Emmett goaded. "I'll run in slow motion." He started up the mountain, backwards, elbows splayed, pumping his arms and panting in mock effort like a speed walker.

Bella laughed. I felt something inside my chest swell at the sound, and I kissed her neck, not caring that my siblings watched us. Her skin felt like mine now, no longer shockingly warm, no longer tempting in all the wrong ways. It felt … natural. Tantalizing in new, unfathomable ways, but perfectly, truly right, as if she'd always been this way. As if it was somehow _meant_ for her to be this way. I closed my eyes just before pulling my lips away and smiling at her. This would take some getting used to, but not for any of the reasons I'd thought.

She looked into my eyes, still scared, but I nodded. "It's okay. Go ahead. Trust me, you'll love it. I'll be right behind you."

But Bella didn't move. "I can … I can tell where Carlisle is," she said, her face shocked, eyes darting about as she tried to comprehend her senses. "Esme and Rosalie, too. But him, most of all. I don't know why. I can sense them."

"You can?" I tried to keep my voice even.

"Yes. I know where they are. Carlisle is … "

She turned her body north, facing the direction in which I knew Carlisle would be waiting, and held her hand out, her arm as straight and precise as a compass needle.

She closed her eyes. "I see you, too," she whispered. "The four of you."

I glanced at Alice and she shook her head. She didn't know, either.

"Carlisle's like a … a negative photograph." Bella's eyebrows knit together as she attempted to interpret what she was seeing. "He stands out in some weird way. We all do. I can't explain it. He's – we're all … " She looked down at her own body, too. "We're the opposite of – of – I don't know what. But it's clear to me. I don't know how else to say it. But I _know_ where he is."

My eyes briefly met Jasper's, where he'd paused with his backpack on a large, flat rock. He looked apprehensive, and that worried me.

But I made sure my face was confident, encouraging, before I turned to Bella and said, "Then go to him."

She faced me then, her eyes wide, mouth open, ready to protest.

"Go," I whispered.

Slowly she closed her mouth and clenched her jaw. Turning in one fluid movement, she was gone.

Emmett and I raced after Bella, letting Jasper and Alice carry all the gear in their backpacks. As I'd suspected, I couldn't keep up with her. It was astounding how much distance she was able to put between us. I didn't like that at all, but there was nothing to be done for it.

In a few moments we stood beside her, half a mile from where we'd been before. She'd stopped right in front of Carlisle, and Carlisle was clearly caught by surprise; but the shock was quickly replaced by honest pleasure as he read the excitement in his new daughter's face.

Bella laughed out loud, her voice making music I'd never heard before, and I couldn't keep from taking her hand in mine and kissing it.

"That was _incredible!_" Bella gasped, beaming.

"Yeah, isn't it?" agreed Emmett.

"Holy crow, it was like _flying!_"

I nodded, smiling back at her, and we shared a quiet moment. I imagined us racing each other up and over the mountain, time and time again over our centuries together, and suddenly I was laughing along with her. The light and the joy in my bride's crimson irises drew me in, and I had to make a conscious decision not to kiss her full on the lips in front of my father. Bella's eyes were hypnotic to me, and again I realized how desperately I wanted her. It was difficult keeping my mind focused.

She'd have to hunt soon, for both our sakes.

I looked at Emmett and, as if reading my mind, he sat down on the ground and invited the rest of us to sit with him. Alice and Jasper quickly set up camp and then joined us.

I kept my arm around Bella's waist. The thought of not touching her was practically unbearable to me, but no longer because I needed to protect her. It wasn't even entirely because I felt incomplete without her, though that was still true. Now it was her natural allure, heightened a thousand times in death, which pulled me close. I was her moon, she was my planet, and I would orbit her forever. I smiled as I ran my thumb across the inside of my wedding ring.

Jasper spread out a map between us, which we would refer to when we reviewed everything Bella would need to know before hunting. Bella looked around the clearing, as if she were waiting for something. Her eyes fixed on the precise directions in which Esme and Rosalie waited. My eyes met Carlisle's questioning ones, and I darted my eyes to Bella. We would talk about this when everyone was with us.

"They're coming," said Bella. Alice nodded to Carlisle, confirming it. And indeed, within moments Esme and Rosalie glided into view from the cover of the forest.

Carlisle raised his eyebrows. Though he clearly wanted to talk with Bella about her awareness, to find out if it might be a gift like mine or Jasper's or Alice's, Bella was thirsty and he thought it best to talk about the hunt first. I nodded in agreement.

Carlisle reviewed everything we'd told Bella before her change, every detail about our hunting, from the best way to overtake big game to which areas in the region were least populated by hikers; and Bella nodded in understanding as she frowned over our map. We talked about how to measure distance while running, how to stay within the "safe zones," how to avoid detection by humans, and the best lies to tell in case one took us by surprise. When anxiety crept into Bella's face, Esme assured her we'd never seen a human here in this preserve. That seemed to calm her somewhat; but her hands still remained clenched into fists on her knees, and I saw fear in the tightness around her eyes.

Jasper never took his eyes off her. Alice tried to be more subtle about it, but her mental focus never deviated from Bella, either.

On my request, Bella repeated back the different ways she could destroy evidence after a kill. Now that the instinct was in her, everything made sense. Before, it was a strange and otherworldly existence, incomprehensible, as it should have been. Now, she was like an immigrant who'd finally found a handful of people who spoke her language, who knew her culture and could share it. I read comprehension on her face. She asked plenty of questions, but I could tell from the way she phrased them that she already knew the answers. Besides, I would be by her side, and the rest of the family would remain nearby, particularly Jasper and Alice.

It was comforting how naturally my family behaved towards Bella now. After she had emerged, blinking and uncertain, from our bedroom, she'd encountered varying degrees of enthusiasm and awkwardness. But now, only two hours later, it was as if she'd always been with us, always been like us. Even Rosalie's face had relaxed, more so than I'd seen in over a year. Seeing how Bella had willingly suffered for me must have purged some of Rose's anger and resentment, and I was grateful.

The discussion of hunting complete, Carlisle, keeping his voice light, spoke. "How did you know where I was, Bella, when you found me a few minutes ago?"

She looked at me and I nodded in encouragement. She swallowed. "I don't exactly know. It was sort of like I could smell you, but sort of like I could see you, too, even though you weren't near me. Esme and Rosalie, too."

Esme smiled for her to go on. Rosalie's eyes narrowed.

"And of course you four were very vivid to me, being so close, even when I didn't look at you." She meant me, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper.

Alice watched Bella carefully, but there still wasn't enough information for her to know what it all meant.

But then Bella's face suddenly darkened and, in a flash, several things happened almost simultaneously.

Jasper thought, "_BLOOD_." Before I could even tighten my hold on Bella she slipped from my arm and disappeared, running so fast that her form was a mere smudge of color in the trees and gone. Jasper blasted away immediately to stop her. Too late, Alice and I rushed after him. A moment later the rest of our family was behind us; they didn't know why we'd run, but they understood that something bad was about to happen.

_Bella smells a human, and she wants him_, Alice thought, running before me, dodging trees as lithely as a doe.

A human. My heart fell into my stomach. I smelled nothing. Neither did Alice or Jasper. Surely we'd be able to smell it by now. How could Bella catch a scent so much farther away than we could?

Alice's thoughts were terrified. _She wants to feed. Jasper may not be able to catch her. But if he reaches her and she's already killed someone, he won't be able to stop himself from feeding, either_.

I ran faster, pushing my body harder than I ever had before. I passed Alice, but I couldn't gain on Jasper; he'd had too much of a head start. Worst of all, I began to smell it now – the human's blood, alive and beguiling. Jasper could smell it, too. He raced faster, and in the desperate emotion of the moment even _he_ wasn't sure whether he was trying to stop Bella or to beat her to the mortal.

And I felt my own bloodlust rising. I'd tasted Bella's blood too recently; would that weaken my own resistance? What about the rest of us?

_No, no, no_, I thought. _Please, no_.

They were still too far away from me. Jasper's form blurred as it hurtled through the trees and, far ahead of him, Bella's hair was a dark comet's tail trailing her careening body.

_Please, don't let her first kill be a human_._ Please._ Even as I begged, I ran faster; but it was useless.

I didn't have time to wonder why there was a human in the preserve. I couldn't bother wondering how Bella had caught his scent from so far away. I no longer cared whether or not I caught Jasper; he'd tasted human blood before, had already been destroyed by it.

I only wanted to stop Bella from doing what I'd done so many times.

I would call to her, but I knew it would be hopeless; I remembered what it was like. Her killing instinct was the loudest voice in her head right now. Nothing else mattered but her thirst.

The dark trees flashed past me like bars of a prison cell, and I wanted to scream. Damp, decomposing leaves beneath my feet made no sound as I flew across the forest floor. The scent of human blood began to overpower me. I felt ill. My stomach roiled, and I wondered if it were possible for a vampire to vomit from fear alone. Now I began to ascend, running up a large hill over which Bella and Jasper had disappeared.

Alice's voice penetrated me. _They've stopped!_

Stopped? Impossible. Not with a human so close.

I didn't slow down until I saw them.

They were in a valley. The clearing was littered with fallen trees and ferns and wet, muddy spots where yesterday's rain had collected. Bella stood still, her hand over her mouth. Jasper was just reaching her and had slowed to a walk. He seemed cautious, even frightened.

I halted where I was, halfway down the ridge, and soon the rest of my family was with me, watching Bella and Jasper below. The scent of the human – and his blood – was everywhere. I felt sick. I stood with the back of my hand over my lips.

Not twenty yards from Bella and Jasper was a scruffy-haired, bearded young man wearing an enormous cross-country backpack. Singing to himself, he hadn't heard our silent approach, and he continued making his way through the muck. His thoughts told me he'd been hiking alone for two weeks. Daylight was fading, and he figured he was going to have to find higher ground to make camp for the night and take care of his leg.

Only then did I notice that his left calf had a deep gash across it, diagonally, and it bled freely into his dirty sock. That scent permeated the wet valley. The sight of the blood made my stomach do a somersault, and suddenly I realized that it was the blood, not fear and anguish, making me feel ill. It dawned on me as I stared at his bloody wound that my teeth weren't bared. There was venom, but I swallowed it, unable to fathom attacking this man. My throat, dry and needy, refused the offering. I merely watched the young man as he climbed another rise and disappeared over it to go on living, unaware that he was leaving eight perfect predators behind him.

The man's singing faded into the distance, and the ensuing silence was filled by the sounds of nature. Birds, sounding bizarrely cheerful, called to one another through the trees. Leaves rustled in the light breeze. I heard Bella's measured breathing from where I stood.

Jasper fell to his knees in the mud next to Bella and reached for the hem of her shirt with a shaking hand. He turned and buried his face in the side of her hip. Bella, still trembling with fingers over her mouth, placed a hand on Jasper's head. He squeezed his eyes shut and clutched the edge of her shirt with his fist. His other hand ran across his mouth over and over again.

Alice ran to kneel next to him and he turned to her, collapsing into her arms with a hollow sob, his thoughts raw and helpless: _It's over, it's over, I didn't want him, it's over, I can breathe again, thank God, thank you, thank you, thank you …_ Alice held him tightly, her face buried in his hair, relief and gratitude flooding her mind. Then she stared at Bella, and a new future began to unfold behind her eyes.

Emmett hooted with laughter, unable to suppress his excitement. He ran to Bella and spun her around in a great hug; but Bella remained stiff, bewildered, unable to hug him back. Rosalie followed and hovered near Emmett; I couldn't tell if she was about to scream or cry, but her mind, so often rigid and angry, rejoiced. Carlisle and Esme approached silently, watching Bella in awe and confusion, not touching her, waiting for her to make the first move.

Finally I crossed in front of Bella. She lowered her hand from her mouth.

"_What is this?_" she whispered, reaching for me. I took her hands and held them to my chest. Behind her words sat a fear greater than I'd sensed even before her transformation. Her vermillion eyes stared at me longingly, as if I somehow had the answer. Yet she seemed braced for something vast and terrible, something larger than any of us could have imagined. Perhaps she wasn't ready for any answers.

It was too late; the answers were here.

I looked around at our little group, all encircling Bella. Jasper and Alice still sat at Bella's feet, holding hands, carrying on their unvoiced dialogue of sensation and revelation. Rosalie, her eyes fierce, held onto Emmett's shoulder for support; and he crossed his arms across his broad chest, grinning in satisfaction. Esme smiled at Bella, wanting to hold her close; and Carlisle nodded, as if some unspoken riddle had finally revealed itself to him. Our family's pale, still faces almost glowed in the waning light of the deep forest. All of them knew exactly what had happened … and what Bella's power was.

With Bella, we would be the masters of our baser natures. Near her, humans would be safe. We would never want to drink human blood again.

And we would never leave her.

In the silence a soft, pattering noise began over our heads. Through the canopy of leaves, it began to rain.

* * *

_**Author's Note: So, this is my theory of what Bella's power will be once she's turned. I hope you enjoyed this part of the story. The next part will deal with Bella's first kill (and other urges ;)), and after that they will meet the Volturi again. If you liked this, well, you know feedback dazzles me. :D**_


	5. Released

"_What is this?"_ Bella asked again, more loudly this time. She turned her uncomprehending eyes toward the others, letting her gaze land on Carlisle. The rain falling hard through the foliage had already set diamonds of water in her hair. We would all be soaked soon, but it didn't matter.

Our family gathered closer to Bella, though still no one touched her but me. I held her trembling hands in my own, and I released one so that I could place a firm arm around her waist. Jasper finally stood, still wiping his hand across his lips and reeling from what had just happened. Alice gently pried his fingers away from his mouth and held them in her own. He immediately brought his other shaking hand to his brow, and I thought of when he'd tried to calm the newborn Bella in our bedroom by placing his fingers on her forehead.

His thoughts, and the rest of our family's, were deafening. It was almost difficult to hear Bella's voice, a whisper under the cacophony of elated speculation.

"What happened?" Bella pressed, panicked. "I wanted him. I _wanted_ that man's … that man's blood. I would have _killed_ him." Her face twisted in anguish and her fingers trailed over her lips before she went on. "But when I caught up to him, I felt sick. I just couldn't do it. I had to stop."

Jasper nodded, and Bella turned to him with desperation in her scarlet eyes.

"Same here," he said hoarsely. "As soon as I had the scent of his blood, I knew I had to have him. There was no doubt in my mind that I would have tried to take him, if no one stopped me." Looking ashamed, he darted his eyes toward Alice and me, the only ones who'd been close enough on his heels. "But I couldn't. It was – " He grimaced wryly as he struggled to find the right word. " – it was _disgusting_ even to think of."

His eyes held Bella's for a long moment, and when he smiled I saw something of the man he must have been long ago. The muscles of his face relaxed into the expression of someone I hadn't quite ever met. Alice watched him. Thoughts darted through her mind like a thousand flitting birds, her delight hidden behind the usual pixie smile. Jasper looked back at Alice and squeezed her hand; and then they were lost in each other's eyes again.

Carlisle looked at the rest of us. "Did everyone feel the same as Jasper?"

We all nodded solemnly, but Emmett chuckled. "Bella, where have you _been_ all this time?"

"Don't joke," muttered Rosalie. "This is something big."

"I know it, sweetheart," said Emmett. "Don't think I don't." His cocksure smile dropped and suddenly he looked vulnerable.

That was when the significance of it crushed me. My body began to shudder with unfamiliar hope and triumph. How could this be? What had we done to deserve this? Once again I was overcome by the feeling that Bella was somehow supposed be with us. Her blood had drawn me to her for more reasons than one. We should be at her feet now, for what she'd given us.

Esme, sensing Bella's frustration and confusion, stepped towards her. Her voice was soft. "Surely it must be because of your old aversion to blood, dear."

Bella nodded, but she still looked frightened. And thirsty. Her red eyes were frantic.

"Such a blessing," Esme went on, trying to soothe her. "And you've shared it with us. It's what we've always dreamed of. To be released from the craving for human blood."

Realization began to creep across Bella's face. She looked at each member of our family. "I – I didn't mean to change anything. You were all wonderful as you were. I'm – "

"Bella." Emmett unfolded his arms and gestured, exasperated. "Has anyone ever told you you're a little crazy? _Of course_ we wanted a change like that! Weren't you listening to Esme?"

"That we struggled against the instinct didn't make us saints, Bella," said Carlisle gently. "It was the right thing to do."

"And now our prayers have been answered," added Esme, linking her arm through his. "You've released us from our torment."

"You have no idea what it's like," said Jasper in a soft voice.

Bella looked stricken. "I'm sorry, Jasper," she said. "You're right. I _don't_ know what it's like. It's almost unfair that I don't have to go through that. This was too easy for me, wasn't it?" She looked apologetically at us all.

"Will you _please_ shut up, Bella?" whined Emmett, rolling his eyes at her. "With the guilt, you're starting to sound like Edward."

"It's a real gift you've given us," agreed Rosalie.

"Yes," interrupted Alice, "and now there are things to do. We still have to go to Italy and see the Volturi in four days."

Something was taking shape in her mind, something she wasn't sure of yet. But she was very excited.

"We need to see how far your ability can reach," she said, "and what the limitations and drawbacks are, if any."

Jasper, still recovering from his demons' flight, seemed pleased by his mate's pragmatism. He let go of Alice's hand and stood up straighter. "Yes. Perhaps Alice and I should put some distance between us and Bella, to see what the range of her power is. And depending on – "

"Just a moment." Carlisle held up a hand. "Yes, we should investigate Bella's gift. But tonight is not the time for that. She's still got to feed."

_If she can_, he thought. My face whipped towards him and caught a worried expression, but he guarded his thoughts once more. What did he mean?

Bella was nervous again; not knowing what to expect, she still feared the actual hunt. But she was shaking with thirst. I held her tightly, still staring at Carlisle; but he wouldn't look at me.

_Esme and I will stay at the campsite, in case you need us,_ he thought. My heart plummeted like a stone inside my chest, though I still didn't know why. I nodded.

"Come on," said Emmett. "Let's get it over with." He grinned, grabbed Bella's hand firmly in his large one, pulled her out of my grasp, and started running.

Rosalie and I looked at each other for a moment, then we took off after them.

As I ran, I suddenly realized what Carlisle meant, and it hit me like a wrecking ball: What if Bella's aversion to human blood didn't stop there? What if she didn't want _animal_ blood, either? Would she starve rather than take some creature's life?

What would I do?

I tried to sweep the panic back into the recesses of my mind until I knew for sure. I ran faster.

Rosalie and I sped along for several minutes after Emmett and Bella until we began to sense the blood of prey. There was more than one creature; it was probably a family of deer. When we drew nearer we counted five, including one young buck, and we fanned out around them, remaining far enough away and crouched amongst the ferns and brush so that they couldn't smell or see us. Thankfully, they were feeding; that and the heavy rain made it easier to remain undetected until we were ready to strike. I knelt next to Bella and whispered in her damp ear which one she might want to take.

Her brow furrowed, and she licked her lips impatiently as she stared at the deer, her hunger drawing her lips back. It certainly seemed like she wanted the beast; her nostrils flared and her eyes closed as she inhaled the scents. But why was she hesitating? The crushing feeling inside my chest would not subside until I saw her feed, and I was anxious for her to do so. But she held up a hand for a long moment, making me wait. Then she pointed up another crest and whispered to me: _"There's something better up there_._"_

Was she being … choosy? I nearly laughed out loud at the absurdity of my pent-up fears colliding with her pickiness.

I looked toward the opposite ridge at Emmett and Rosalie, who were still waiting for us to make a move, and shrugged. I pointed up the crest between us.

Together the four of us scaled the ridge quickly. The deer, now aware of us, scattered in the opposite direction. As we climbed, a snuffling noise caught Emmett's attention a short distance away. His head whipped in that direction.

_No way!_ he thought.

I looked at Bella just when she smiled to herself as she hopped onto the next boulder.

"Grizzly," I murmured, incredulous, turning back to Emmett.

He nodded. "We've got our own blood tracker," he replied. Then he peeled off to investigate, whispering quickly to Rosalie to meet him once Bella and I had found our own prey. He winked at her before disappearing through a copse of trees.

I stared at Bella in amazement. Still she climbed. I took her hand to make sure she didn't take off without me. Behind us I heard the growl and gurgle of the bear's demise.

The terrain became rocky and the three of us jumped across slick stones and over craggy roots. The rain drenched us as thoroughly as if someone were dumping buckets of water on our heads; and now lightning streaked across the sky like pale striations through black marble, with a thunderclap following shortly afterwards. Bella breathed excitedly, hands shaking, her nostrils flaring with the scent of something …

Something …

Feline.

_Impossible_, I thought. But I couldn't keep from grinning.

"For you," she whispered, smiling at me.

I laughed silently, placing a kiss on the back of her hand. We ran together, fingers interlaced, like schoolchildren rushing to a playground, and suddenly my fears seemed illogical. Bella's instincts trumped my own. She was ready for this. She had to be. But still I needed to see her feed, to make sure she would be able to sustain herself. I squeezed her hand tightly. _Please_, I thought.

There. Over the ridge, in a shallow hollow of the mountaintop, a mountain lion stalked a black-tailed hare. His wet, golden body slunk low to the ground as he lifted one paw and placed it carefully before lifting another. The hare, unaware, sat underneath a stand of shrubs for shelter and nibbled on a bit of brush.

Before I could even whisper to Bella that she should take the animal now while he was preoccupied, her body blurred, leaping across the damp ground and capturing the cougar in vise-like hands. She quickly found secure footing in the muddy earth and sunk her teeth into the neck, drinking deeply. The hare scampered away, its tiny heart hammering in its chest. The scent of flowing blood made it difficult for me to keep my distance.

Rosalie caught my eye, and I nodded that we'd be all right without her now. She could return to Emmett; I would take care of Bella.

But as she turned to leave, I caught her elbow.

"Please," I whispered, "go back to the campsite. Tell Carlisle and Esme that Bella is all right."

Rosalie nodded, eyeing me curiously. "I will," she assured me.

In a whip of movement and blond hair, she disappeared into the wet night.

I turned back to Bella, relief flooding me as she continued to feed. It was only human blood she didn't want. Her instincts had carried her easily and efficiently to this prey, and I let out the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. I shook with the instinct to attack, to take the animal from her; but the husband in me wanted her to have every last drop.

The mountain lion was massive, probably close to two hundred pounds, but Bella held it as if it were a lunch sack. She drank, eyes closed, and I was mesmerized. The sight of her feeding opened a longing in me that was more than thirst. Her physical power captivated me, and I wanted her desperately.

Bella's crimson eyes opened and stared into mine across the distance, and I knew she was inviting me to share. I approached the other side of the struggling animal and caught its shoulders. Bella couldn't let go: her instinct to feed was too strong. So I bit the other jugular vein on the other side of its powerful neck. The poor creature kicked and pawed helplessly as I began to drink alongside my mate. The thick blood was like watered wine after the heavenly taste of Bella three days ago, but I was very thirsty. I snapped the beast's neck, and the kicking stopped. Still we drank.

Bella never took her eyes off me; and I drank impatiently, wanting the beast finished so that I could have what else was mine. Her scent was overpowering. I'd never been more aware of her femininity, thrown into savage relief because of the primitive act in which we were engaged.

Her body shuddered, and the tremor passed through the large cat into me. She clutched the animal closer, and feebly I tugged it back; she would not take it from me, but she wouldn't let me have it, either. We continued to share the animal, our faces close, eyes locked, my body electric.

The blood slowed, at last, to a trickle. I pulled my bloody mouth from the fur and waited, watching her take the last drops. She sucked so hard that the muscles in her neck stood out, one sternocleidomastoid knife-like in her twisted neck, her platysma creating a hard fan of sinew down past her collarbone. Her eyes closed involuntarily and she shivered again with pleasure and satiation. I felt it, her ecstasy in taking blood from a living creature. It pleased me to know that she could feel that gratification … and that she would never have to know the utter mindlessness – or the devastation – that came from taking human life.

Finally there was nothing left, though it took Bella a few seconds to realize it. She dropped the beast at our feet and stared down at it for a long moment. She stretched her fingers toward the animal, blinking slowly. What was she thinking? Was she thanking the animal for its life? Was she ashamed of herself? Repulsed by me, by what we were?

Her lips still dripped blood. Rain fell from her forehead onto the sodden corpse.

Then she raised fierce eyes to mine, and I knew she wasn't ashamed at all. Nor was I.

And I could have her now, at last.

Of one accord, our lips locked together. Blood mingled inside our mouths, and I stepped over the animal to get closer to Bella, raking my hands through her wet hair. A huge fork of lightning made the night and the rain somehow dreamlike and hyper real at once, like an overexposed photograph. Thunder shook our eardrums.

Still kissing her, I reached for my belt and unfastened it, pulling it by the buckle and flinging it from me as though it were a snake. It hit a tree several yards away with a loud crack.

Lightning brightened the sky again and, for another split second, our skin glowed white. Bella's still-scarlet eyes were half closed with desire, and they drank me in as her tongue explored my mouth as hungrily as it had lapped at the lion's neck. With the ensuing thunder all was dark again, but still I saw her hands ripping my shirt open, the buttons scattering around us in the mud like fallen fruit. I shrugged out of it, but one sleeve still hung from my wrist as I ripped at Bella's blouse, creating another shower of little buttons. Hers fell to the soaked earth, and I finally shook mine loose and tossed it aside.

Bella kissed a bloody mess across my chest, leaving apple-red marks down my torso. Her lips traced a desperate and determined path along the trail of hair on my abdomen as she released me from my jeans and boxers, and then she took me in her mouth. Another rumble of thunder muffled my moan and I nearly staggered from the sensual rapture; but there was nothing for me to grasp for balance, so I held onto Bella's hair. She growled in delight and kept working on me. Her venom and the blood were slippery on me, and my eyes rolled back in my head.

I had to have her. Now.

I seized her shoulders and pulled her up to me, then tore through the flimsy metal zipper of her jeans with one hand as I shoved her against a tree with the other. The trunk shook and the movement loosened bark and a shower of raindrops from the pine needles onto our heads. Bella smiled at my roughness, kicked out of her clothing, and wrapped her legs around my waist, balancing herself on my shoulders with her arms. I held her up, my hands grasping her buttocks from underneath, and I trembled with impatience.

In one smooth motion I was inside her and thrusting. Bella clutched me tightly, and I could not have escaped if I'd wanted to. Our breathing matched, cool and frenzied, against each other's wild faces. I could smell her arousal, and it was glorious. I hoped my scent was as splendid to her. The entire area must be saturated with us now.

Whatever we had done three nights ago after our wedding, as marvelous as it had been, suddenly felt like foreplay in comparison. This, _this_ was my virginity lost. The friction, the movement, the tightness – it was devilish bliss. Our skin, our hardness, our strength were equally matched now; it was as if her body was built to please mine. Bella's moans and sighs told me that she felt it, too. Nothing in heaven or hell could feel better than us, joined. Finally, I could please her in all the ways she deserved; she could inflict wicked torture on me and I would only beg for more.

Bella lowered a foot, shoved off of the tree, and forced me to the ground, never breaking our connection. She straddled me, coming down hard and fast and driving me mad with desire. Her body rocked over mine, so beautifully rhythmic, and her dripping hair whipped my face. I sucked the water from the ends of the tendrils and she kissed me wetly.

I rolled her so that I was over her and I pounded, pounded, knocking the breath out of her. Her mud-spattered legs gripped me tightly. Her gasps and groans were nearly driving me over the edge, but then she whispered, "Harder."

This was heaven. "Yes," I managed.

"Harder!"

I would not refuse her anything, so I slammed her body with mine and was rewarded with a scream of pleasure. Another finger of lightning lit us, and she radiated like a granite angel underneath me, her muddy arms spread wide like wings across the ground as I held her there. Another rumble of thunder muffled the sounds of our bodies thrusting and grinding together.

It was slippery in the mud, and I couldn't get close enough to her to suit me. My knee tried to find purchase in the ground, but it only slid through the drenched earth like butter. My other foot shoved off of something still warm and furry – the mountain lion – and I was able to find adequate resistance on some ferns with my other knee. I drove in harder, faster, still plundering her mouth with mine, still pinning her arms down. Bella freed herself easily and wrapped her mud-covered arms around my neck, pulling me closer. She threaded her dirty fingers through my hair and I raked my filthy hands across her neck, her breasts, her torso, her hips, her buttocks. With each thrust I fell more deeply than I ever thought possible. I was no longer me; I was us. So was she. And yet she was still Bella, amplified: wild and natural and all for me, as I was for her.

Brilliant traces of light lit the sky again, and we glowed icily underneath the electricity flying from cloud to cloud. Thunder shook the ground beneath us. Rain dripped from my hair onto her face, and mud and the leaves of ferns wrapped themselves into her mane. I felt like a god; and Bella, my Bacchante, gasped my name again and again. Still we pounded together, our cries and groans dampened inside each other's mouths.

I slowed my undulations, trying to find the movement that would tip her over the edge. Her hips met mine and I followed them until we found a rhythm, slow and cadenced and insistent, that lured her closer to the edge of ecstasy. I felt her following me there.

It was bliss to be so very inside my own body, with her; it was more thrilling than any hunt ever was. All that mattered was her satisfaction, and mine.

Her eyes bore into mine, and she looked amazed. I slowed my movements to watch her face, and I kissed her lips over and over again.

She stilled me with muddy hands on my jaw. "I feel you," she said, awe in her voice. "More than before."

"Yes," I said. I knew. The sensations were unlike anything I could have imagined in all my nights without her. Now that she was like me, every sensation, every pleasure, every sweet, lingering caress and lunge seemed to be turned up a thousand degrees. The lure of her body was deafening, and it made mine resonate and vibrate with desire in response.

"Faster," she commanded, taking my mouth again with hers.

Of course.

Incrementally I sped up until I reached a pace that seemed to bring her body's tension to the breaking point. I hovered there, deliberately prolonging the moment as best I could, though my own body screamed for me to finish it. I held her hips with my hands; I wouldn't let her speed us up. She clawed and grasped at me, her hips bucking under my fingers and straining into my pelvis. She whimpered, and my name on her lips was nothing short of begging.

I had to give her what she wanted. Our rhythm escalated just slightly, but it was enough. I lost all sense of time and place as powerful contractions clenched around me repeatedly, drawing out my own euphoric spasms; and we held onto each other as our bodies fell into rapturous convulsions together. After what seemed an age, our bodies' frantic shuddering slowed and eventually ceased. My lips fell to her neck and I licked her healed wound, surprisingly unashamed of how I'd given her that subtle, shiny scar.

_Mine_, I thought, proud and satisfied.

* * *

The next morning arrived all too soon, and with it came the end of the rain. The air was misty; steam swirled and glowed around us as we dressed under the flat white sky.

We'd hunted a second time in the night, Bella leading us to our prey. We'd found a couple of deer, and once again our bodies had crashed together in primitive ecstasy afterwards. The rain had drenched us all night and wrapped us in earth and blood, and I had no idea where my shirt and belt were. Our jeans were brown with mud. Mine hung low on me, and Bella had to hold Rosalie's now-buttonless shirt closed in the front. One metal button held up her jeans, as I'd thoroughly demolished the zipper. Together we staggered, almost drunkenly, to the place where Alice and Jasper had set up our "campsite" … but when we reached it, it had already been packed up.

_Wonderful_, I thought.

Everyone was waiting for us at the cars.

I looked down my torso at the trail of dried blood leading to my crotch. There was blood on Bella's lips that I'd smeared with my mouth down her neck towards her breasts. Our faces and limbs and backs and leaf-strewn hair were so filthy and caked in mud that we looked like clay figures of ourselves. The hard rain hadn't cleaned us up much, because we'd only kept on rolling around on the muddy ground.

We looked at each other sheepishly. Hand in hand, and not speaking, we descended the mountain. We'd have to face them sooner or later.

Fortunately my Volvo was gone, which meant that Alice, Jasper, Esme, and Carlisle were gone, too. But Emmett leaned against the grill of the Jeep, his own clothing filthy but relatively intact. His zippers still worked, at least. Rosalie had grabbed a clean jacket from the trunk and now sat quietly on the hood of the car, looking reasonably unsoiled except for the knees of her jeans and her hair. She eyed Bella's – her own – ruined clothing with disapproval. We'd have to replace it.

In Emmett's mind I saw how we really looked, and I groaned. We were pathetic mud monsters, covered in blood and smelling like sex.

_The walk of shame_, Emmett thought gleefully. I ignored him.

But he couldn't resist prodding me. "Did you two have a nice night?" he asked, his expression all innocence.

I said nothing, and I even resisted shooting a glare at him. Instead I led Bella to the rear passenger's door. When I opened it for her she hesitated, looking down at her mucky clothing.

"Oh, don't worry, Bella," said Emmett cheerfully, coming to open Rosalie's door for her. He winked at his mate. "It was because of _our_ hunts that I knew I had to get a car I could wash out with a hose."

Rosalie, stony-faced, casually punched him hard in the arm and slid into her seat, slamming the door behind her.

"Ow," said Emmett, rubbing his deltoid with satisfaction.

Bella cautiously crawled into her seat, tracking mud from her shoes and clothing everywhere. "Sorry, Emmett," she muttered.

"It's fine," he grinned. "Comes with the territory."

Bella's pallor whitened further, and she shot a mortified grimace at Rosalie in the side mirror. Rosalie smiled and shrugged.

I shut Bella's door and walked around behind the Jeep with Emmett.

_So_, he thought. _What'd I tell you?_

"You were right, I was wrong," I muttered quickly. "So please never talk about it again."

"Hmm," Emmett mused. "What do you reckon the chances of that are?"

"Slim to none," I replied.

"Exactly."

I hauled my disgusting, half-naked body into the Jeep and sat close to Bella. There had been little conversation last night, and I was anxious to talk with her, to help her process what she'd just experienced. She seemed to be handling all this far too well. The dam had to burst sometime.

Bella grasped my hand and smiled up at me, her teeth comically white inside her muddy face. But it was my fault she looked that way, and so she'd never looked more beautiful.

When I returned her smile, I realized that our next hunt couldn't come soon enough for me.

* * *

_**Author's Note: At last, some vampire-vampire action, and I hope you liked it! I will try my best to get the next chapter posted before **__**Breaking Dawn**__** is released. Comments and feedback, like thunderstorms, are always appreciated. ;)**_


	6. Helpless

Following our hunt, after a much-needed outdoor shower and a bath, Bella and I were dressed and presentable. She wore a new set of Rosalie's clothes; we'd have to go shopping for her today or tomorrow, if Esme couldn't get the human scent out of Bella's old clothes. Esme was preparing to wash everything now, even though Bella had insisted she could do the small load of laundry herself. We hovered at the door to the laundry room while Esme sorted Bella's clothing and chatted with us, trying to make light of what was essentially an awkward chore. Even though blood repulsed Bella, she was still a new vampire: it lured and distressed her with its siren song. It was difficult for Bella to be near the scent of her former self; still, she put on a brave face for us.

But there was another reason for tension in the house, and this was a worry we all shared: the family was to convene in thirty minutes to discuss strategy for our compulsory trip to see the Volturi in Italy. Since we had some time to kill, I pulled my cell phone from my pocket.

"Let's call your parents," I suggested. "It's been four days since we saw them."

"You're right, I should." Bella reached for the phone.

I pulled it away. "Let me give you some pointers," I began as I wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her toward the front door. Esme smiled at us, then went back to sorting the lights from the darks into two laundry baskets.

Bella looked up at me, confused. "Pointers?"

"You sound different," I reminded her gently.

"Huh?"

I laughed. "Well, not in _what_ you say, but how you say it. Your voice is richer, and clearer. You sound … older. Not older than _me_, of course!" I added when she punched me lightly on the arm. "It's beautiful. But you'll sound very different to your parents."

She stopped walking and her mouth formed a silent "oh." She looked at me with eyebrows raised. "What do I do about that?"

"We should call them from outside, where there's some ambient noise and a breeze to give the phone some interference. It'll mask your voice a little."

Bella nodded.

"You might want to try putting a little roughness back into your voice. Like you're hoarse."

"Like this? Do I sound like my old self?" She tried a gravelly voice, but it only made her sound sexier, like Marlene Dietrich.

I smiled. "Not … exactly. Never mind. Let's just hope the wind does the trick."

She took the phone and started to dial Renée's number, but then she froze. "What have I been up to for the last three days?" she asked.

"I don't think your mother is going to ask you that."

"But – oh. _Oh._" Her living flesh would have blushed; even now I could almost see the sweet pinkness. "Right. Newlyweds."

"I'm almost hurt that you forgot," I teased. "But you have had one or two other things or your mind."

And so had I; the trauma of her transformation roiled through my stomach again. But Bella was still impassive. How could she be so strong? On my fourth day I was screaming at Carlisle and destroying his home. There wasn't a piece of my new father's furniture left unbroken by sunset. I'm still not sure how he kept me from bolting out the door.

I realized I was still touching Bella's waist, and I stepped away. "Would you prefer to speak with them alone?"

She shook her head. "No, stay with me. I might need some more … pointers."

"I'll stay on the steps."

I settled on the top step of the porch and leaned with my elbows on my knees, hands clasped, watching as Bella started pacing around the yard while she waited for Renée to pick up. Her rapid, circular pacing during phone calls: that nervous habit hadn't changed since her transformation.

Just as Renée answered, Bella reached a clearing in the trees …

And the sunlight fell on her.

I stopped breathing. I stopped everything except for watching her. My ears registered Renée's probing questions, her voice worried and tinny-sounding through the cell phone as she wondered if her daughter was all right. I was vaguely aware that Bella was once again reassuring her mother; they fell so easily into their old roles.

But somehow none of the language of their conversation penetrated my skull. All I could recognize was that Bella was flawless, sparkling and wondrous in the sunshine, her skin so iridescent I had to squint to fully appreciate her. Her dark hair stood in stark relief to her white neck, and even her crimson eyes seemed absolutely right and perfect. Who was this luminous being who had somehow chosen me as her mate? She was angelic. I felt a smile curl my lips, and I had to shake my head.

All these years I'd thought our glittering skin was a cruel joke, a curse placed on us by God to remind us how far from heaven we were, to rub our noses in the knowledge of how utterly anti-celestial we would remain. But Bella now seemed to me to embody everything good in this world, and the one beyond, and perhaps worlds I hadn't even contemplated. Her beauty stunned me and left me incapable of thought. I could only stare open-mouthed, like a foolish child.

Her circular pacing continued as she chatted with her mother, and periodically her figure would pass through shadows again, returning to the light moments later. I watched her hungrily and hoped she would talk for an hour, or longer.

At last she said goodbye; and as her thumb pressed "end" on the cell phone, she saw herself.

The hand that held the cell phone was radiant, and she extended her arms, dropping the phone in the grass as her eyes widened. She pushed up her sleeves, tugged her collar away from her chest as she looked down at her body. She kicked her shoes off and wiggled her ten sparkling little bare toes. Then she spun to face me, a look of astonishment on her shining face.

"Beautiful," I whispered to her.

She managed a smile before she turned her palms toward her face again. She stared at them for a long while, then pressed them into her chest as if she were trying to feel the light vibrating off of her.

"Oh my God." Her eyes fluttered to me again.

"Hmm," I agreed, nodding.

We smiled at each other. The moment seemed to stretch into forever, with me sitting in shadows on the porch and Bella standing, brilliant and barefoot, on the grass. I rested my head on my hand and just watched her. She laughed and spun in a circle, flinging her arms wide. My smile grew even broader.

"You do have another parent, you know," I reminded her.

"Oops. Right," Bella laughed. With a sigh, she picked up the phone, flipped it open again and started dialing. "I guess I should call Charlie."

"He'd appreciate that."

Bella commenced her pacing again. Now the sun was behind the clouds, and I was able to concentrate on what she was saying this time without the glamour of her pale, sun-lit radiance. The wind had picked up a little, and hopefully that would better mask the new musical tones in her perfect voice.

"Hello?" Charlie's voice was gruff, as usual.

"Hey, Dad."

"Well, hey, Bells." His voice brightened considerably. He'd missed her.

Bella wandered around the yard as they exchanged pleasantries for a few minutes: Charlie was never one for deep conversation. But I could hear the tension in his voice, and in Bella's; and the speed of her pacing increased until she was at a sprinting pace, though she wasn't aware of it. I crossed the yard and caught her hand, encouraging her with a motion of my hand to slow down, to use a human pace before Charlie wondered if she was talking on the phone in a speeding car with the windows down. Bella's eyes flickered to mine gratefully and she squeezed my fingers in return.

She interrupted a story about Charlie's latest fishing trip with Billy Black. Her father had tactfully avoided any mention of Billy's son.

"What else are you eating, Dad? Besides fish?" I'd never heard her refer to him as "Dad" so many times in one conversation before. She must miss him, too. "Tell me you're not already back to frozen dinners."

"Uh, no," he said. "I'm fixing myself a lot of pasta. Remembering to stir it this time."

"That's good."

"You? You're eating, too, right?"

Bella stopped moving.

"Um …" Her lips pressed together and she darted a glance at me, then looked away into the trees. I had turned to head back to the steps, but now I stopped and watched her.

"Don't think I never noticed how many meals you skipped because you weren't hungry. I reckon it's a little late for me to mention it now, but that always worried me. Girl's gotta eat."

"I know, Dad," she muttered. She wasn't annoyed, I could tell. But her face was crumpling. He'd hit a nerve, and I had a feeling I knew what that nerve was.

She would never share a meal with him again.

And now she understood that it was worse than that: she'd probably never _see_ him again. In this small moment on the phone with her father, her old world had trickled through her fingers like grains of sand. I knew what that felt like.

"And when you go to all those places in Europe Edward's got planned for you, I want full detail of what you ate there. Maybe you could show me how to cook it when you get back."

Bella paused, her lips curving into a frown, chin quivering just the slightest bit. But when she spoke she sounded composed. "That'd be great," she lied.

"Crap, I didn't spoil his surprise, did I? He told me a while back, but – aw, shoot, I think I just let the cat out of the bag."

"No, you didn't, Dad. Edward told me already." Her voice was all steel, but she was blinking rapidly, as if she were trying to hold back the ghosts of tears.

I placed a fingertip under her chin, trying to get her to look at me. But she withdrew from my touch and stalked into the forest. I followed, worrying, wanting to yank the phone from her hand and make her talk to me.

"That's good," said Charlie. "I mean, he planned it all out for you, sounds like. Anyway, I expect you'll pick up some new recipes over there."

"Yeah, I'm sure I will." Bella stopped at a pine tree and leaned heavily against it with one hand. She stared at the ground, her back to me, her hair hiding her face.

"Maybe we could have a party over here. Invite Billy and Jake – well, if Jake's up to it – I mean, if Edward's okay with it – " Charlie coughed. "Get Sue Clearwater and her kids over, some of your school buddies if they haven't left for college yet. Edward's family, too. Let you and Edward show off your culinary skills."

"Sounds great."

Charlie paused. "You okay, Bells?"

I didn't think he'd be asking to see her so soon. I placed my hand on the small of Bella's back and she didn't pull away this time; instead she turned her body towards me, wrapped her fingers into the front of my shirt, holding me there, and I could see that she was crying silently – though, of course, no tears ran down her cheeks.

I held out my hand for the phone, but she turned her head away, the phone still to her ear. "Yeah, I'm fine, Dad. But I should probably start packing. We leave in a couple of days and we're going to be gone a while."

"Oh. Oh, sure. Well, call me again before you go, if you can."

"I will."

"Okay. Bye, honey."

Bella managed a small "bye" in return before she hung up. A sigh shuddered out of her. She stared at the phone in her hand until I took it from her and pocketed it.

It was bound to happen: Bella was finally breaking down.

"Talk to me, Bella," I said, taking her face in my hands, stroking her hair. "Talk to me."

Her palm went to her chest, rubbed her sternum and the ribs around them, rested over her heart.

She stopped breathing for a moment. She stared into the sky past my shoulders, her scarlet eyes unblinking, the passing clouds reflecting in them. Pine trees swayed above us, and under the moving branches her skin alternately sparkled and paled before me. She said nothing as her gaze followed the clouds overhead. Then she looked back at me for a long while, and it seemed she was taking the measure of me in some new way.

"Bella?" I whispered.

"Let's go inside." And she turned away from me and walked quickly back to the house.

I couldn't speak. I stood watching her go, as motionless as a statue frozen on its pedestal. Birds twittered above and around me. The clouds covered the sun, making her profile almost white-blue in its chiseled paleness as she turned to climb the steps. Then they wafted away again, bringing dazzling light to her white cheeks and her ruby lips once more.

* * *

We sat together on the sofa in tortured silence, and Jasper kept staring at us. I glared at him to stop, and he did try.

I had worried that Emmett would continue to tease us about our wrecked post-coital appearance this morning; but when Bella and I joined the family in the living room, everyone was already mulling over her apparent talent and the powerful effect it had had on each of us: we were disgusted by the human hiker's blood, couldn't even imagine ourselves drinking it, and all because Bella was repulsed by it. Her aversion seemed to have permeated us as surely as Jasper's sense of calm had dampened my own fears on our wedding night. But Bella still seemed uncertain about how she'd affected us; her hand reached for mine and I clutched it tightly, grateful for the contact, glad to have some way of reassuring her.

"Is the change Bella sparked in us _permanent_?" wondered Esme as she paced slowly along the length of the window. The morning sunlight slanted into the room, its wide golden stripe illuminating the hardwood floor and pale carpets. My mother's calves and ankles shimmered beneath the soft swish of her skirt as she passed.

Alice tilted her head and silently traced the piano keys from her position on the padded bench. "And will Bella's influence affect _all_ vampires, or just ones like us who _want_ to refrain from human blood?"

"And is there more to what she can do than just making us feel sick around it?" asked Emmett, his eyes glinting with excitement. Like Esme, he couldn't keep still; but his motion was frenetic as he stalked from one corner of the room to the other, gesticulating with his hands. "She tracked a bear, and a mountain lion. She found the human from four miles away. She seemed to know which was which."

"And don't forget she sensed Carlisle and the others from the parking lot," added Rosalie. She sat on the bottom stair and toyed with the ends of her hair, frowning, but her thoughts were entirely preoccupied by Bella. This side of Rosalie still caught me off-guard; she seemed almost humbled by the power of Bella's talent.

"So it's not just blood she senses," agreed Jasper, settling next to Alice on the piano bench. "It's also – " He pursed his lips as he struggled to make sense of it.

"The … absence of blood?" offered Bella.

All eyes turned toward her.

"I don't know," she said in a small voice. She looked overwhelmed.

Jasper stood again and crossed the room to kneel next to us, his voice matter-of-fact. "I know you're confused," he said. "You don't have to be afraid. Everyone's happy this has happened. Trust me."

"Everyone's happy about it?" In spite of herself, Bella laughed. "I guess you would know, huh?"

He nodded solemnly, eyes twinkling just before he broke into a grin.

I didn't really know this new, relaxed Jasper, but I was starting to like him a lot. Bella needed all the reassurance she could get, and Jasper was giving it to her without even using his talent. But his thoughts told me there was one person in the room who _wasn't_ entirely happy about Bella's gift, and he was looking at her.

"He's right," said Alice, sitting next to me on the arm of the sofa. "And we'll keep telling you until you believe us." She winked at Bella, who ducked her head and tried to smile.

"I know," Bella said. "But it just – it happened so _fast_. And I … I couldn't control it. It happened to you without my meaning for it to. What if – "

"Do you _really need_ to control it?" interrupted Emmett, coming to a halt in the middle of the room. "Let me simplify. Murder _bad_. Not murdering – pretty good, I'd say." And he commenced his pacing again with a smirk on his face.

"Thanks for spelling it out for us," I muttered. Bella looked up at me and I smiled, but the worry didn't leave her forehead. I felt my smile slowly fall as I tried to read the emotion in her eyes. Since I'd met Bella, I'd often wished I could borrow Jasper's gift.

Like now, for example. Now it certainly would be a relief to know what was behind those blood-red eyes as her gaze focused laser-sharp on each member of our family. It was as if she was seeing us all for the first time, or trying to memorize us. She stared at the back of my hand like she could count the blood vessels inside it. She looked as though she were about to weep, or flee from the room. I wanted to scream … but I sat completely still and tried to tear my eyes away from her.

"It's really okay, you know," said Alice. "I can't see a down side to this. In fact … " She trailed off, her eyes far away as she caught another vision. "Ha," she said.

But her thoughts were murky and, in my upset over Bella, I couldn't put the pieces together. She shook her head as images of the Volturi drifted away and then she looked at Jasper, who still knelt next to Bella. The couple started planning something in that strange, unspoken language they shared, the one even I couldn't always crack. Now Jasper was thinking of the Volturi; and Alice, for some reason, was thinking of going to Seattle today. Before I could consider what this meant, Carlisle's voice drew me out of Alice's thoughts.

"The important question is how will Bella's ability affect our meeting in Italy?" He'd been relatively quiet, seated with his feet propped up on an ottoman, his head resting on the back of the chair with a hand over his eyes.

The family quieted as Carlisle voiced the subject we all wanted to avoid: the confrontation with the powerful Volturi. Now he stood, crossed to us, and regarded Bella intensely. She blanched, as though she were a student caught passing a note in class. "Will her gift be an asset to us?"

"Or a liability?" she muttered, lowering her gaze.

"I don't think – " Carlisle began.

"It's my fault we have to go in the first place," Bella insisted. "If I'd agreed to marry Edward sooner, they might not have come here at all. The delay drew their attention. They suspect me of – of not wanting this – this change. They want to be sure I haven't exposed you … or any vampires, for that matter."

"No, no," said Carlisle, pulling the ottoman over to sit directly facing Bella. "They've felt threatened by me – by our family, rather – for decades. Long before Edward met you. You're the excuse, Bella. They've known for a long time that you wanted to join us, and it frightens them that our numbers are growing, even though we're still a tiny group compared to their compound. But they can't take any chances, you see. You're the excuse they'd been waiting for to bring us all to Italy."

_To absorb us into their ranks, or to kill us_, he thought, and everyone else's mind echoed his. It was a symphony of fear and I wanted to shut it out. Bella looked from person to person; I was sure she sensed the terror in her new family. Her eyes narrowed and lowered to our clasped hands once more.

"Of course they would see us as a threat because there are so many of us," said Jasper. "Vampires don't usually remain in a clan, remember? In their eyes, why else would we join forces other than to gain power?" As if to punctuate his words, disturbing images of Jasper's bloody past flooded my mind until he forcibly turned his attention to other memories – his wedding day with Alice, walking in the sunlight on a mountaintop with her, laughing with Emmett over some joke to which I hadn't been privy.

Bella had been staring into Jasper's eyes keenly, and now she nodded reluctantly. Her gaze again lingered over the rest of our family, and her expression was unreadable.

Finally I could resist no longer, and, like a rat in the night scuttling into a kitchen, I crept deliberately deeper into Jasper's thoughts where I heard his assessment of her state of emotion: _Skeptical. Guilty, angry, terrified. Trapped._

_Trapped_, I thought, scurrying out of his mind like I'd been scalded. My stomach lurched. Trapped. Of course. And why wouldn't she feel that way? Her sudden immortality had left her feeling imprisoned, just as mine had. It was undoable. It was my fault.

I was abruptly terrified of her abandoning me.

_Stop that, Edward_, thought Jasper, deliberately not looking at me. His mental "voice" was gentle and chiding. _She loves you. She's not going anywhere._

Startled, I glared at him, but he avoided my eyes. His readings of my emotions always felt intrusive, and he was always as accurate as if he could read my thoughts. But I had to remind myself that he couldn't tune out sudden surges of emotion; and, no doubt about it, I was full of them now. My insecurity must have hit him like a tsunami. I felt seventeen again.

Like every young man, when I was a teenager – actually seventeen, not a long-dead man wearing a young man's face – I thought I was, I wished to be, immortal. War couldn't kill me, I thought, and my plan was to barge into battle, blood pumping, fists flying. I'd win the war and live forever and things would always be that simple. I honestly didn't even think the Spanish influenza would kill me in the end; and I was right about that, in a sense, but through no doing of my own. Now I knew what it was to have something I'd wished for come true: fulfillment comes at a price. Anyone who's ever read any fairy tale knows that.

I reminded myself that Bella was young, and as naïve as I had been when I was her age. She'd gotten what she wanted, at unfathomable cost. And now my fairy tale ending with Bella was turning into a nightmare in front of me.

"Jasper was right last night," said Carlisle, unaware of what had passed between Jasper and me. "Before we go to Italy, we need to see how far Bella's gift reaches. Then we'll know if we have a bargaining chip or not. The Volturi could see her as a threat, which means she is our weapon." His eyes softened as he looked at Bella. "I'm sorry, but it's best you know where you stand."

Bella nodded once. She released my hand and threaded her fingers together on her lap.

"Wait a minute," I said. "Bargaining chip? _Weapon?_ What are you talking about?"

"The Volturi outnumber us, and they've probably amassed a number of even more powerful members since I was with them – Jane, for one, and her brother, whose power we don't know yet. There may be more like them. There probably are."

Jasper stood up behind Carlisle, who was still seated on the ottoman facing Bella. Something about seeing the two of them together, the strategists of the family clearly understanding one another, made me feel threatened. Anger blossomed in me like an ugly flower.

Carlisle went on, ignoring my clenched jaw. "Since Aro 'read' Edward and Alice in Volterra, the Volturi now know our family's strengths, and they'll be prepared for us. So what do we have that they don't know about? What could threaten their very way of life?"

"Me," said Bella. Her expression was clear and resigned.

"No. No." I stood up. "She's not a weapon. We won't use her like that. It's too dangerous. She's only just been turned, isn't that enough? We can't put this on her shoulders."

Carlisle rose. "I'm not saying I want this for her. I just don't know what else we can do. If we have a weapon – something that will alter any vampire, perhaps irrevocably, something that will starve them unless either they let us leave or decide to change and live the way we do – then we have to be prepared to use it against Aro and his clan. I'm sorry, Bella, but we have no choice."

_The lamb on the slaughtering block_, I thought, horrified. "This can't happen." I stepped toward Carlisle and Jasper. "We can't – we can't go. Bella and I will go away. The family can scatter. They can't track us all. Carlisle, if – "

"Stop it, Edward," whispered Bella.

I whirled to face her.

"There's no way out of this," she said to no one, and she sounded surprised, almost as if she were just realizing it. "We'll do what we have to do, of course." And she stood up and walked out the front door, her face as emotionless as a shark's.

I started to follow her, but Jasper's hand caught my shoulder. "Let her go." I glowered at him, but he shook his head. _She doesn't want you right now._ With his thoughts, it felt as though stinging nettles had wrapped themselves around my heart.

"Should I – ?" Esme's gentle smile almost disguised the worry in her eyes.

"Alice – " I began.

"I'll go," offered Rosalie. Before anyone could say "no," she darted after Bella. Alice smiled apologetically at me. I heard Rosalie call for Bella to wait for her, then their footsteps crunched over dead pine needles in the woods, becoming fainter as they put distance between themselves and the house.

I had a dreadful feeling about this.

The rest of the family was quiet. No one looked at me. Everyone worried for Bella. Everyone pitied me. Suddenly and fiercely, I hated them all. _Trapped_, I thought again. Bella felt trapped. I felt that way, too.

I stalked into the corner of the room and leaned heavily against the wall, staring out the large back window. From here I could watch the woods for signs of movement, of Bella. I could watch my family's reflections in the glass. And I could pretend to care what Carlisle wanted. Emmett wandered over to join me, but my dark look sent him back to his side of the room.

_Okay, okay, sheesh,_ he thought. _But it's all going to be fine, you'll see …_ His optimism infuriated me. I started reciting Gilbert and Sullivan in my head to drown out his unsolicited reassurances.

Carlisle was now strategizing with Jasper, as if nothing had happened. He wanted Jasper and Alice to leave town for the afternoon to find out how far Bella's influence reached.

Jasper nodded at Carlisle and held out a hand to Alice. "Fancy an adventure?"

She took his hand and hopped lightly to his side, a brilliant smile lighting her face. "Always."

Alice went upstairs for her purse, and in a blur of movement they were gone – taking Alice's Porsche to travel over a hundred miles away to Seattle, I now knew, to see how far Bella's gift would continue to affect them.

Carlisle lowered his eyes and sighed heavily. _We don't have much time_, he couldn't help thinking.

"So now we wait," Emmett murmured.

All was quiet inside the house. Esme sat in silence on the sofa, clenching her fists as she envisioned each of us suffering grisly, prolonged deaths at the hands of the Volturi. We were her family, and she was terrified by the thought of being powerless to protect us. I knew how she felt.

Emmett was imagining himself killing several of the Italian vampires, starting with Demetri; but even he figured we'd be outnumbered in the end. I understood that, too.

Carlisle paced alongside the perimeter of the carpet as he tried to analyze Bella's talent and pick apart potential negative aspects of it, how it might backfire on us once we were in the clutches of the Volturi; then he examined the positive aspects, how we might use Bella's gift to keep the Volturi out of our lives permanently. His thoughts were as emotionally detached as Esme's were charged; and even though – as our father – he was right to think that way, I wanted to strike him.

With a struggle, I forced my focus outward. I heard the droning of insects outside. Birds cackled and flew from tree to ground as they began a long day of hunting. In the distance, cars sliced across local roads. A plane's jet engine growled.

And still I fumed, and feared.

_Trapped. She feels trapped_. The words thundered in my head as though God Himself were shouting at me. It was no less than I deserved.

Reflected in the window glass, I saw Esme narrow her eyes at me, then look significantly at Carlisle.

"Perhaps," Carlisle said, taking her cue and turning towards the staircase, "we should start packing for Italy."

"Good idea," said Esme, rising from the sofa and joining her husband on the stairs. "Emmett?"

"What do – "

"Come on and start packing."

After a moment during which I suppose he was trying to figure out why they wanted him out of the living room, Emmett huffed once, stared meaningfully at me, and started stomping up the stairs. He was used to my moods.

Of course they didn't need extra time to pack; even Emmett saw through that ruse. To his credit, he managed not to look back at me.

* * *

After thirty interminable minutes, twenty-nine of which consisted of me alternately talking myself into and out of trying to track them, I was on the verge of running into the woods after Bella and Rosalie. I wanted to give Bella the space she needed, but I was going insane wondering what they were talking about. If only I could hold her and reassure her that she'd feel better in time, that my love would be enough to ease her through the rough beginning …

Who was I kidding? Even I didn't believe me.

Thankfully, they returned. I heard Rosalie's mind as she continued a conversation with Bella. They were talking about … _fashion_?

I paced the porch as if that was all I'd been doing while they were gone. Rosalie reached the house first, thundering toward me like a tank. Bella hung back and kicked at the ground.

"Stay out of my head, Edward," Rosalie warned in a steely voice. She shouldered past me, singing an Italian aria in her mind to block me from her thoughts. From the living room on her way to the stairs she called back, "Bella and I are going shopping."

I looked back at Bella, utterly confused.

She shrugged. "I told her I had my own clothes, once they're clean. She insisted. She said it was Italy, I had to have something more fashionable to wear. Seems a little ridiculous, considering we might all – "

"We're not going to die." I didn't have to read Bella's mind to know what she was thinking.

Her hard, desperate face made me rush to her and wrap my arms around her. She was stiff and wouldn't return my embrace.

"Bella, we can run away," I whispered.

She shook her head. "We've been over this. They'll find us. There's Demetri – "

"Who's not as smart as he thinks he is. Trust me, I've been inside his head." I was lying to her now, but I didn't care. I only cared about trying to protect her. "We can go away. I have passports for us under false names already, and – "

Her eyes flamed into mine for a split second, and I wasn't sure if it was panic or fury or passion I saw in them; but suddenly she was kissing me, both hands on my jaw, fingers raking into my hair. She pushed into me until we were against the side of the house, and her body ground against mine with intention. My desire awoke instantly, and with a fervor that could only be attributable to my own anxious and fearful state of mind. I clutched at her helplessly, and her kisses drove me on. I kissed her deeper, and harder. It took an effort not to whimper. I wanted to have her, now, if only to prove to myself that she was still mine. Selfish, selfish, but I couldn't help it. As my greedy fingers reached for the buttons of her blouse, I wondered vaguely if we should go inside.

Just then I became aware of Alice and Jasper approaching, hearing their thoughts a second before Bella recognized the car's engine buzzing along the road. She stepped away from me and we looked at each other. Her lips were a darker red because I'd been kissing them so forcefully. Her eyes smoldered into mine and I couldn't look away if I tried. But Bella turned her back to me and strode forward to meet Alice and Jasper, buttoning her shirt's top button as she walked. I trailed behind, unable to bear being even a few feet away from her. Why wouldn't she talk to me?

Alice pulled the Porsche into the driveway, parked, got out of the car, and strolled over to us as we tried to compose ourselves. Reading Alice's thoughts, I knew everything was fine; they'd stopped at a rest area off the highway outside of town and discovered that Jasper still felt ill when they were too close to the humans, which meant that Bella's power was still affecting him. But Alice, for some reason, felt the familiar, dry-throated craving.

Alice didn't think it was a male-versus-female response. In my sister's mind I saw a flash of Jasper touching Bella's forehead in our bedroom as he tried to calm her impulsivity when she was newly born, and then I saw Bella's hand on Jasper's head when he'd fallen to his knees as the hiker walked blithely away from his would-be killers.

Alice thought that touching Bella would extend the reach of her gift, perhaps permanently.

"Back so soon?" asked Bella.

"I've got a theory," said Alice. She took Bella's hand in hers and squeezed it, as if the action were nothing more meaningful than a sudden wish for affection. "You're very pretty," she added as they stood there shimmering together in the sunlight.

Bella cocked her head, confused.

Alice let go and skipped back to the Porsche. "See you later!" She backed the car all the way to the main road. Jasper waved a lazy hand at us as they disappeared.

"What just happened?" asked Bella. She still held her hand out where Alice had released it.

"Alice started craving human blood just outside of town, but Jasper was fine. She thinks anyone who touches you can carry your gift with them even farther away. She thinks your touch might even change a vampire forever."

"Why would that be?" she wondered, staring down the driveway.

I shook my head. "Who knows why any of us have the powers we do?" I replied. "Why does my ability reach a few miles for people I know, and less far for people I don't? How can Alice sometimes see what the Volturi are planning on the other side of the world when other times she's blindsided by them? It's all a mystery to me."

But _miracle_, not mystery, was what I was thinking. Things were changing, and I found my own outlook about our talents changing with them. No longer could I look at my own power as a curse, not completely, when Bella's equally inexplicable talent had given us all such hope.

"Well," she muttered, "I hope we can figure the mystery out before we go to Italy."

"Bella, listen, we can still – "

"All right." Rosalie's strident tone reached our ears as she skipped down the stairs inside the house. "I'm ready. Got my purse. Let's go shopping – if you can call it that in a place like Forks."

* * *

_Let her be_, thought Jasper several hours later.

I wanted to glare at him, but found that I was too defeated to do so.

I still wasn't quite certain how I'd ended up in his room. But Emmett was too happy-go-lucky for my mood just now, and I couldn't bear Esme's sad eyes or Carlisle's sensible calculation.

I suppose, in secret, I was hoping I could sway Jasper to my way of thinking. Perhaps if he thought using a newborn vampire as our only "weapon" was reckless, he could change Carlisle's mind.

At the moment, Jasper was packing an old leather suitcase for himself, with a few extra things for Alice, while I reclined on their comfortable sofa.

Alice had been right: touching Bella had extended the effect of her power all the way to Seattle. They had wanted to travel farther, but Alice had had what she considered a brilliant idea. She had gone on to Italy, deciding on the spur of the moment to take the afternoon flight from Seattle today instead of two days from now.

Alice wanted to scout out the situation, to see what she could learn about the Volturi's plans. Perhaps she'd pick up more with her talent by being closer to the trio of leaders, Aro, Caius, and Marcus. More importantly, she wanted to see if Bella's gift would still affect her on the other side of the world; that could mean that Bella's touch did indeed create a permanent change. Alice wanted so badly for that to be true that she simply couldn't wait to find out; and if we all traveled to Italy _with_ Bella, we'd never know. _Someone_ had to put distance between them in order to find out, so Alice happily volunteered herself for the task. Without telling Jasper, she'd even stuffed her passport and a change of clothing into her large purse, just in case.

Because of the risk of danger, Jasper understandably had wanted her to wait and travel with the rest of us; but aside from restraining her bodily there wasn't much he could do to make her stay. Alice had told him not to worry, said she'd draw less attention if she arrived by herself; and he hadn't had his passport with him, anyhow. She insisted the more we knew about Bella's gift beforehand, the better for us. The pragmatist in Jasper couldn't disagree with her assessment.

"Besides," she'd assured him, "you'll be there less than two days after I land."

Unfortunately Jasper, the husband, didn't see eye to eye with Jasper, the strategist. I'd never seen him more agitated.

Now he was a whirl of motion as he finished tossing clothes into their luggage. He stood still, staring at the suitcase for a long while. His mind was searching for more to do to keep himself busy, but there was nothing left. His passport sat on top of the dresser beside his wallet. Finally he perched on the stretched skin of a huge drum he and Alice had bought in Africa. If Alice were here she'd nudge him off it, threatening to make him play it instead. His fingers drummed the edges as he looked around restlessly.

Their room was as colorful as mine was monochromatic, with lots of paintings and tapestries hanging on the walls. The effect was overwhelming to the eyes, yet somehow soothing to the ears; I supposed the sound in the room must have been dampened somewhat by all the extra fabric and canvases hanging on the walls. I liked their room. It felt like a cozy library to me.

_Bella just needs to work through this. It's only been a day since she turned._ Jasper looked at the handwoven carpet at his feet. It was odd for him to be offering me advice, to be comforting me. Perhaps it took his mind off his own worry about Alice.

"I know," I acknowledged. "But with _Rosalie?_" I squinted at the ceiling, trying to imagine what they were talking about while they were shopping back in town and finding that, of course, I imagined the worst.

_It makes the most sense_, Jasper thought, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

But it wasn't obvious to me.

_Stay out of my head,_ Rosalie had warned me again before they drove off in her BMW.

I sighed. It was killing me, not knowing how Bella was feeling, not understanding why she wanted to confide in Rosalie instead of her own husband, and – most of all – not being able to fix it.

_Rosalie's still hanging onto her human life. She's the only one who could really understand how Bella's feeling right now._

That stung. Desperation clutched my gut even more tightly.

_I'm not saying that to hurt you, Edward_.

I sighed. Our one-on-one conversations were always like this, with him speaking the thoughts inside his head and me responding rarely or not at all. He could feel what I was likely to say, so speech was hardly necessary. I still felt awkward, communicating in this fashion, and he did, too; but verbalizing things with each other felt redundant. And we'd both know, in our own way, if the other were lying. So our conversations were unavoidably more intimate than either of us would prefer, which was why we'd seldom had them. It was more comfortable for both of us to steer clear of each other.

Though I was grateful that he wanted to help me, I desperately wanted to change the subject. And I wanted to talk him out of wanting to use Bella as a weapon. I'd have to ease my way into the subject, because I felt his certainty that that was our best hope.

"How long until Alice lands?"

He looked at his wristwatch. "She said she'd call around eight in the morning, Italian time. Her flight lands around seven, then there's the immigration line, and – "

My cell phone rang. I flipped it open hurriedly, hoping it was Bella; but it was Rosalie.

"Yes?" I said.

"Is Bella there with you?"

My heart turned to ice. Jasper hopped off the drum and crossed the room to me in an instant.

I spoke into the phone, measuring each word as my gaze held onto Jasper's for dear life. "What do you mean, is Bella with _me_?"

* * *

_**Author's Note: Oh no, a cliffhanger! Never fear; Bella's whereabouts will be revealed. ;) I'm planning one or two more chapters, and I hope to finish the story before another year passes. Can any of you loan me some time (or a babysitter) so I can write? As always, thanks in advance for your thoughtful feedback. I do appreciate it. :D**_


	7. Merit

I pressed the speed dial button on my cell phone, and upstairs in our room Bella's phone rang. There was a sudden hollowness in my stomach. I stared into the hallway through Jasper's bedroom door as if I could stop that damned ringing upstairs and somehow will the phone to be in Bella's hand so I'd know where she was right now.

It rang until it went to her voice mail.

I put my phone in my pocket and ran a hand though my hair. With the onslaught of galvanic emotion in my gut, the room appeared to me as if through a fish-eye lens, distorted and far away. Jasper was saying something reassuring to me, but it may as well have been word salad spewing from his mouth.

Of course, Alice would know where Bella had gone; but Alice was in the air somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean on her way to Italy to see how far Bella's power would affect her. There was no way to contact her until the aircraft landed.

I'd have to go hunting for Bella myself.

Mentally, I was already halfway to Charlie's house. This morning's phone call with her father had ignited desperate feelings in her. She must have gone there, to the most familiar and loved person from her former life.

I sprinted toward the garage and peeled down the driveway in my Volvo by the time Jasper alerted Emmett, Carlisle, and Esme. In my rear view mirror I saw their open mouths, their raised hands, but I didn't want their offers of help. Soon Emmett was calling me on my cell phone, and I threw it angrily into the back seat. I didn't care to hear his rationalizations about Rosalie's "honest mistake" in letting Bella somehow evade her. Irrationally, I hoped Emmett thought I was on my way to shake some sense into his wife right now.

As my car sped down familiar roads, I realized I wasn't worried about Bella being alone with humans. We'd all seen how she'd resisted killing the bleeding hiker during our first hunt, a feat that should have been insurmountable for a newborn. We'd all felt the same sickness near that hiker, the nausea that kept us from even the smallest desire to taste his blood. Her gift was that powerful, keeping even her own instinct to feed in check. No, it wasn't that I feared she'd attack a human.

It was worse than that.

I feared … I almost couldn't let myself think it.

I feared she wanted away from me.

She'd had second thoughts, too late, too late. She wanted her old family back. She wanted her old _self_ back. And there was no way she could have it. She felt trapped; I knew because I'd verified it in Jasper's mind. She must be scurrying away even now from this unnatural un-life, from us … from me.

My car found its way practically by autopilot to Charlie's place. I was on his street before I knew it, and I managed to slow the car to a reasonable speed as I parked in front of his house. His police cruiser was in the driveway.

I reached into the back seat to retrieve my phone and set it to "vibrate," then put it in my pocket, just in case Bella called from a public phone. Then I glanced around the car's interior for some excuse to be here without my bride. I could hear Charlie's thoughts, but they were about tools; he was trimming bushes in the back yard and was aggravated that he'd left the pruning shears on the lawn one afternoon before it rained. Now the shears had rusted, and he was having trouble clipping the hedge. His thoughts were about as far from his daughter as they could be.

I'd have to face him to find out if he'd seen or heard from Bella today.

I grabbed a thin paperback book from my old school backpack and approached the front door. I had to knock first, because he couldn't know that I was aware he was in the back yard. I knocked loudly. After thirty seconds I knocked again, trying not to scream at the absurdity of having to knock when I knew exactly where he was. Fortunately, just when I was about to stalk into the back yard anyhow, Charlie cursed – loudly enough for a human on the front porch to hear him.

I walked around to the back of the house.

"Good afternoon, Charlie," I said, sounding calm even to myself. Vampirism has a few positive aspects; appearing cool in the face of disaster, I suppose, is one of them.

"Well, hey, Edward."

Charlie lowered the rusted shears and dragged his other forearm across his sweaty brow. In the waning golden daylight he looked tired but vibrant, still youthful for his middle age. His familiar human scent saddened me, because Bella would never be able to see him again. He would get older and older, and for as long as he lived never again see his only daughter. It was wrong. The whole situation was wrong, and I knew it.

The scent of Charlie's blood was unsettling to me in new ways, too, because of the effect of Bella's power. At close range, his blood smelled somewhat _sour_. It was no longer sweet and inviting in that compelling way that always made my mouth water and my body tense.

"What brings you out this way?" He was brusque as always. He wouldn't invite me into his home, even though he thought guiltily that he should.

"Bella's out shopping for our – " I almost said _trip to Italy_. " – honeymoon. She wanted me to bring this book back to you. I think it's yours."

Charlie took the book from my steady hand and frowned at it. "_Our Town_? Not mine."

We'd studied the Thornton Wilder play in English. "I thought it was this one," I lied. "Sorry. I must not have looked where she was pointing."

Charlie thrust the paperback back at me, and I took it. With the mention of Bella's name, as I'd predicted, his thoughts turned toward his daughter, and I scavenged his mind.

I saw an image of Rosalie's red car – Rosalie had told me on the phone that Bella had stolen it while Rosalie was paying for a dress. The BMW had driven slowly past Charlie's house. Charlie had been standing in the kitchen taking a swig from a canned soda before going out to work in the yard, and his jaw had dropped when he saw the gorgeous creature driving the vehicle. The young woman had looked so much like Bella; but she couldn't have been, he'd thought. A brief ray of sunlight reflected off the driver's window, and it was hard to see clearly. But he saw well enough to judge that the girl in the car could have been a model. Not that his daughter wasn't beautiful, he'd reminded himself, but this woman's beauty was truly remarkable. The driver had stared into the kitchen window as if she could see him (and, of course, Bella could – my heart lurched at the thought of her torturing herself this way). Charlie could only gape as he'd watched the car turn the corner and disappear. He had shaken himself, feeling a little creepy for even thinking this woman was so stunning, because she really did look an awful lot like his daughter. He'd carried his can of soda to the back yard and busied himself with the mundane task of pruning.

So there it was: Bella had driven past her father's house but she hadn't stopped to speak with him. Then where had she gone? I was fairly certain I knew now, and I didn't like it one bit. My old jealousy – that tiny, tormenting windmill – started churning within me again.

"You almost packed and ready to go?" Charlie was saying. He walked over to the back porch steps, grabbed his now-warm soda from the top stair, and took a long draught of it.

I couldn't help reading his thoughts. To Charlie, I was still the bad guy, stealing his daughter and playing wicked mind games with her after I'd left her and broken her heart. I couldn't blame him. A guilty look on my face spurred more negative thoughts and suddenly his feelings curdled. _He doesn't deserve her_, he thought with certainty.

I forced my face once more into a neutral expression, then smiled. "Oh. Um, yes, nearly ready. Bella just wanted to do some last-minute shopping. We leave the day after tomorrow." Be it Italy, honeymoon, or Timbuktu, I wasn't going anywhere until I found Bella.

"Shopping, huh?" Charlie squinted at his soda and set the shears on the steps. "Doesn't sound much like Bella."

_Those Cullens are rubbing off on her._ _She's changing_, he thought.

Charlie masked his despair quite well, like most men do. An image of Bella as a toddler running around the yard in a little white dress with red apples on it crowded his mind, and mine. The toddler's smile was wide open, not the remote mask it had become – around Charlie, at least – in her teenage years. His jaw worked. "Bella never shops."

I should have thought of that myself, before she and Rosalie left the house. Of course it didn't sound like Bella, because it wasn't. She was just looking for a way out. Escaping from Rosalie probably hadn't been very difficult.

"No, it doesn't, does it?" I admitted, trying to keep up my end of the small talk. If Charlie could do it, then so could I. "I'm afraid Rosalie is probably trying to talk her into buying some really uncomfortable high heels. Beauty knows no pain, I guess."

Charlie forced a laugh while his eyes scanned his handiwork in the back yard, but everywhere he looked he saw memories of his daughter, from her summertime visits as a baby and child, to her reading on the lawn just a month ago. "Bella in heels?" he scoffed. "I almost feel sorry for your sister. I'll bet Bella's not much of a shopping partner."

"It's doubtful. Maybe I'll buy her some nice walking shoes to wear on our honeymoon."

"Don't do that." Charlie's eyes finally met mine. They were level, and his voice was as gruff as usual, but I read the panicked thoughts in his mind. "Old wives' tale. Don't ever buy your woman shoes. She'll walk out the door in them."

I saw the old, scuffed red sneakers his ex-wife, Renée, had worn when she left him. Old wives' tale or not, Charlie had indeed bought those shoes for her with his first paycheck from the police force. In his memory, one red sneaker disappeared up under the battered car door just before it slammed shut. Bella sat buckled fast in her baby seat in the back. _Walking shoes_, Charlie had thought helplessly. Then his whole world backed out of the driveway and disappeared.

"Old wives' tale?" I managed. "Okay, I'll skip the shoes, just in case."

The superstitious warning had popped out of Charlie's mouth, probably before he'd had a chance to monitor himself, but I appreciated the gesture all the same. Perhaps he didn't truly bear me any ill will. Maybe there was some small part of him that wanted things to work out between Bella and me. I wasn't sure that I really believed that, but I wanted to.

I had to find her. I had to find out if the happy ending Charlie missed was possible for me.

* * *

I stood in the middle of the road, just at the border of "our" land and "theirs." I hung up my cell phone, and waited. I'd called Sam, not Jacob, because I figured Jacob would hardly want to see me right now, so soon after the wedding. Sam was bringing some of the pack along. Hopefully Jacob would be among them, but his presence wasn't strictly necessary. I could probably learn what I needed to know from the minds of the others; since they shared that bizarre pack mind link, there were no secrets among them. If Jacob had seen Bella, I'd know it. I was sure she'd come here, and it made my gut twist.

I rehearsed all the different ways I could say what I was about to say to Sam. I considered what Carlisle and the rest of them would think about me doing this behind their backs. I was going to have to wing it, and I was taking a huge risk being here alone.

I could only hope that the pack's feelings toward us would soften because we'd destroyed Victoria and her army of newborns together.

I glanced at my phone again, wishing that Bella would call me from wherever she was now. Fourteen calls and messages, all from various family members, awaited my acknowledgement. Thank goodness Alice was on an airplane en route to Italy, or my being here wouldn't be any secret.

Why did I want to do this alone, in secret, anyhow? Even I wasn't quite certain. On the negative side, perhaps it was because I felt responsible for Bella's disappearance, for our continued residence in Forks, for the fact that the tribe had to keep worrying about us at all; who else should risk his life speaking with the pack than me? On the positive side, I might be responsible – however indirectly, through Bella, at least – for my family and the pack cooperating at all to face Victoria and her minions; so why shouldn't I, by all rights, take the lead and talk with Sam now?

I didn't know whether feelings of guilt or merit had brought me to Sam, but here I was.

Under a lone streetlight – it was dark now – I remained very still while I waited for the pack, even as my mind spun out ten potential terrible endings to our meeting. Number one was that Bella had come to see Jacob and didn't want to see me.

I slid my cell phone into the back pocket of my jeans and became aware of several minds approaching me.

Seth. Good.

Sam, of course.

Paul. Embry.

Where was Jacob? Just as I wondered that, Sam's thoughts reached out to him, commanding him to come. Though I was happy for the command, I wondered why Sam was forcing Jacob to face me; he wasn't making Leah or Quil come along. Sam knew as well as I did – the whole pack knew – all about the pain and anger Jacob felt. And yet the rest of them, too, tugged at him with their thoughts. A deeper glimpse into Sam's mind gave me the answer: Sam figured Jacob had some rights in any dealings with me, because I'd taken Bella away from him. Jacob should express his opinion, whether or not Sam agreed.

Sam grew in my esteem.

Seth arrived first, riding up on an old bicycle that was now too short for him. He seemed to have grown another three inches in the weeks since I'd last seen him.

"What's up, Mr. Swan?" he grinned, and I smiled back. His short, shaggy hair looked an inky blue-black under the light of the streetlamp. He leaned the bike against the weathered wooden pole. "How was the wedding?"

"It was – lovely." The ceremony was beautiful indeed, even if what ensued with the arrival of Jane and Demetri was not. "Bella and I were sorry that you couldn't be there."

"Yeah, well, you know …" Seth looked uncomfortable and shoved both hands deeply into his pockets as he sauntered over to me. "If I'd come, then Jake would've been there. More or less."

"I understand."

Jacob, of course, wouldn't have come to our ceremony; but he would have seen Seth's memories of it. Because Jacob didn't want to be tormented by visions of our happy day, out of loyalty the other pack members hadn't attended. I hadn't truly expected them; but Bella had insisted, and I'd agreed, that we should invite them regardless. We'd been through too much together not to extend the invitation.

Thankfully Sam arrived then, in an old pickup truck with Paul and Embry, so that Seth and I didn't have to chat about the wedding any longer. The three young men unfolded themselves, all arms and legs and muscles, and flanked Seth. Even after everything, Sam was perturbed that Seth had gotten here so quickly and let himself be alone with me. Seth chafed against Sam's overprotection, as he saw it, and stepped slightly forward toward me. It was just a few inches, but it made his point.

Sam chose to ignore that little rebellion. "Edward," he said flatly.

"Sam," I replied, keeping my voice even, my hands still and at my sides. No need to make the dogs jumpy, especially since they outnumbered me four to one. "Thank you for meeting me."

He folded his arms across his broad chest. "We'll wait for Jake and then we'll talk."

I nodded. My hope was renewed a bit when I sensed none of the pack thinking immediately of Bella, which meant that Jacob possibly had not seen her today. If he had, his thoughts probably would have infected theirs.

While Sam and the others scanned the area for other vampires – even after fighting alongside us, they couldn't shake their suspicion of us – I took stock of my surroundings.

I spotted an old, half-blind opossum waddling along the side of the road twenty yards away. I heard a few voices nearby, all members of the Quileute tribe. A man and woman were arguing loudly perhaps half a mile from here; the woman was crying and cursing, and a baby was squalling. All around me I breathed in the scent of dirt, and the plant life of late summer, along with motor oil and rust and someone's clothes dryer sheets as their laundry hummed through its drying cycle a quarter of a mile down the road.

I smelled the Quileutes' blood, the faint dog-ness of it, a stench I supposed I would never get used to, particularly now that its foulness was compounded by the bitter revulsion I seemed to feel around all human blood, thanks to Bella's uncanny gift. In the darkness, downlit by the harsh overhead streetlight, the four young men looked gaunt and eerie, almost like a black-and-white portrait from an earlier era. I suppose I did, too.

Paul fidgeted, shifting his weight from one foot to another and kicking rocks on the road. Every now and then Embry studied his cuticles – a curiously nervous and delicate action, I mused, even though I knew him to be a robust fighter in his wolf form. Seth kept looking behind him at the road leading into the reservation, his thoughts anxious about the confrontation Jacob and I were surely about to have. Sam mostly just watched me.

A minute of silence was finally broken by the sound of a motorcycle droning up the road. Jacob's thoughts buzzed more loudly than the engine, however, and I knew the pack could hear him raging all the way here.

Jacob made me tired. Around me, his inner vitriol never stopped. What was worse, I could not blame him. I steeled myself for the cyclone of his teenage mind, ready to scour it for any evidence of Bella.

Jacob pulled the bike up next to Embry and, before turning off the engine, revved it loudly just for good measure. I kept my face neutral. Jacob's was dark with emotion. Under the streetlamp, the shadows created by his eyebrows masked his eyes. He lowered the kickstand and dismounted the motorcycle in one fluid movement. But his hands were fisted already, and the muscles of his forearms rippled.

"All right, what do we need to discuss?" asked Sam. He gave a silent warning – _stay calm_ – to Jacob, who pretended to ignore it.

I didn't have to ask: Jacob was already thinking of Bella – the brief kisses they'd shared, all the laughter, how she'd felt in his arms, the way she'd looked saying goodbye – but so far I had no impression that he'd seen or heard from her this day.

I sighed in relief; but I had to have a reason for being here, so I gave them a good one.

"The treaty," I began. Sam lowered his arms and glared at me. He knew exactly what I was going to ask. When no one spoke, I continued.

"My family is going away for a short while, and we are prepared to move away from Forks as soon as we return." _If we return_, I thought dismally. "But we'd like to stay, if we may. We would like for your tribe to consider rewriting the treaty, if you and the elders see fit. Before you make your decision, there have been some … unexpected developments … which might sway you in our favor."

"Wait a minute."

Of course, it was Jacob speaking, his panic rising already. He was no fool. Why would I be talking about leaving if it wasn't dictated by the terms of the Quileute treaty? The only thing that would necessitate our departure would be if one of us had bitten a human – to the point, if _I'd_ bitten _Bella_. They all expected it, but didn't know when the horrible event would transpire.

Sam put up a hand. "Let him finish, Jake."

Jacob deliberately turned his gaze away from me and studied the moths circling the streetlight overhead. Finally I saw his eyes, and they glittered with hatred.

All right, then, the good news first. "What would you say if I told you that, under certain conditions, it's now physically impossible for any vampire in or near La Push or Forks to feed from a human?"

A whirlwind of confusion swept through the pack. Seth looked into my eyes, hopeful. The rest were wary, and Jacob's look could have pierced my skin.

"Explain," said Sam.

"As long as the Cullens remain here, all humans are safe."

"_Explain_."

Okay, now the bad news. "You saw how some of us have … abilities. I can read minds. Alice sees the future. Jasper controls emotions."

"Right, right." Sam was trying to hurry me along, sensing, as I did, the growing mistrust in some of his fellows.

"What if one of us had the ability to curb a vampire's most basic nature – the need to drink human blood? And as long as that vampire remained here, that power would assure that no other vampire within roughly a fifty mile radius – whether a Cullen or a stranger – would be able to partake of a human's blood?"

We hadn't measured out the distance specifically, but my estimate would do for now.

"Which one of you can do this?" asked Sam. "And why haven't you told us about it until now?"

I couldn't help it. I looked at Jacob.

The air between us became heavy.

"No." His eyes flashed, and whatever had kept him in check up until now snapped. The tempest of Jacob's mind became a nuclear holocaust. "No. No. You didn't. You – you weren't supposed to – until after – until – "

I spoke quickly. They didn't need details. "Something happened, something that was beyond our control, and we had to do it sooner than we'd planned."

"What?" Seth's head whipped from me to Jacob and back again. " Bella? Jake, he said he wouldn't do it until – "

"_When?_" Jacob growled.

No use lying. "The night of the wedding."

I felt Seth and the others finally catch up – _Bella is a vampire, Bella is a bloodsucker_ – and then Jacob was on me.

I let him tackle me, because there was no point in stopping it. Perhaps I even wanted it.

The air left my lungs as he landed hard on my torso. Gravel pressed into my back, and punches battered my face. Jacob was very strong, for a human, and one blow made me bite my tongue. Blood trickled into my mouth.

I had no idea how Jacob, in his rage, kept from phasing into his wolf form; but it seemed important to him to remain human right now, as unlike me as possible, while he tried to make me bloody, as bloody as he saw Bella in his mind. Imagined scenes of our wedding night poisoned him – nightmares of me having Bella in all sorts of beastly ways, smearing her in her own blood, making her beg me to kill her – and Jacob kept pummeling me, punching my kidneys, my gut, my mouth, my ears. He pulled my hair and slammed my head into the ground. Blood and sex, sex and blood were all he imagined, and he wasn't exactly wrong.

The whole thing was surreal, and time seemed to stretch in odd ways, even though the experience only lasted eight or nine seconds. My body remained limp and I let him keep hitting me. Bella wouldn't have wanted us to fight, but it was more than that keeping me from striking Jacob. Maybe it was guilt over what I'd done to Bella, or dread of now losing her forever, or certainty that I deserved to lose her. Whatever it was, I sank into despair for a moment, thinking oddly of Renée's red sneakers, and of Italies past and Italies future, and throughout my passivity Jacob kept beating me.

But then I became aware of Sam's mind. _Stop the fight, help him._ Help whom? Jacob, of course, their brother.

Something in me awoke.

If one or two of them transformed into their wolf forms to help Jacob, they might harm me, perhaps even kill me. Would I let that happen? Would I make Bella lose me twice, even if she wanted to be away from me now? Would I hurt her that way again, now that she was changed beyond repair, and all because of me, her maker? Would I give up when there was the slightest chance that she still wanted, still needed me?

No.

I shoved Jacob's chest – not hard enough to hurt him, but simply to get him off of me – and in the same moment I realized what the pack was doing: Sam and Seth were pulling on Jacob's arms, and Embry and Paul had his legs.

God only knew why, they were helping _me_, not Jacob.

With the force of my push combined with the pulling of Jacob's pack brothers, all five flew backward into a heap of bodies. Jacob immediately leapt up, but Sam and Paul grabbed his arms and yanked him backward. Seth and Embry darted between Jacob and me and tried to calm him down. By this point Jacob was lunging and screaming at me, calling me a leech, a murderer, a bastard.

Now standing, I spat the blood out of my mouth, brushed at some oil stains on my sleeve, shook the gravel from my back. Jacob kept cursing me, and I listened and waited for him to stop.

"Calm _down_, Jake!" ordered Sam. Jacob slithered an arm out of Paul's grasp and nearly got away from them, but Sam grabbed him. "Calm yourself – NOW."

With that command, Jacob's movements eventually slowed, though his breathing was still frantic. His face was turned from me, but I knew he was crying angry, frightened tears. His thoughts were a mess. He'd come back to his father's house two days before the wedding, hoping against hope that Bella would have changed her mind, that she would come to him all contrite and asking sweetly for forgiveness, for reunion. Not only had that not happened, but I'd turned her into the one thing he despised above all else, weeks before it should have happened at all. Yet he still wanted to see her. She hadn't come to him. He hadn't talked to her in so long. He wanted to run away again. He wanted to kill me. He wanted to die.

I didn't say anything. What was there to say? Waiting for this moment to pass, as all moments surely do, I stared at a droplet of my own blood on the cracked pavement. The drop looked black under the stark light of the streetlamp. I couldn't remember the last time I'd bled.

Near me, Sam was speaking quietly to Jacob, telling him that they had to hear me out, that they needed to know if something the Cullens had to offer might benefit the tribe. Jacob shook his head. This went on for a while. Eventually Jacob regained some composure, though Sam and Embry stayed close to him. Jacob was torn between jumping onto his motorcycle to escape and getting more details about Bella's change, turning the knife in his wound a little more, making it real, as much as he wanted to pretend it wasn't.

Finally, in the silence, the crickets began their nightly chirruping once more, and I knew the worst was over.

This was out of my hands now. I had come here as an agent of my family, without their knowledge or consent, for the sole purpose of finding out if Bella had come to see Jacob today. She hadn't. And now I'd gone ahead and opened the proverbial can of worms. Now we'd have to face the decision of the tribe. The best I could hope for was that they believed me about Bella's gift.

"All right, Edward," said Sam. "How does this power of Bella's work?"

To listen to my response, Sam had to force an image of a pale and bloodthirsty Bella out of his horrified mind. I, in turn, tried to tune out Jacob's relentless internal lament as I spoke. We all stood still, facing each other, though Jacob refused to look at me.

I told the group how we'd discovered Bella's gift in the forest with the bleeding hiker; and I explained that, to the best of our knowledge, her gift extended about fifty miles for vampires who hadn't touched her. I told them Alice had discovered that the distaste for blood would extend even farther for vampires who had physically touched Bella; she'd traveled a hundred miles to Seattle and still felt the effect. I informed them that Alice was now on her way to Europe to see if the repulsion would maintain itself over greater distances, and that we'd find out about eleven o'clock tonight when she landed; it would be morning in Italy.

It was time to speak plainly.

"I know I broke the treaty," I said. "You knew I would. And we can leave right now if you want us to leave. But if you allow us to remain here, with Bella, even transient vampires won't be able to harm the tribe, or anyone in Forks. Wherever Bella is, no vampire can drink from a human."

Ironic. After all my assertions against the notion, I was using Bella as a weapon, just as Carlisle had suggested we do in Italy. But I didn't have time to think about that now.

The pack was silent, weighing the possible advantages of our staying against the conditions of the treaty.

"Why?" asked Jacob. "Why so soon?" I knew he meant her transformation.

"I can't tell you everything," I said truthfully; humans couldn't know about the Volturi. As Jacob opened his mouth to argue I went on. "Suffice it to say that the wrong vampires found out that a human knew about us. They … insisted … that the transformation happen immediately. We were lucky that was all they demanded." _So far_, I thought.

"Lucky," said Jacob. Sarcasm dripped from the word.

"It was going to happen anyway – " began Seth.

"Just shut up, Seth," muttered Jacob.

"Sorry."

"And about Bella's so-called power," said Jacob. "You expect us to believe you?"

"No. But you'd believe Bella, wouldn't you?"

His eyes darkened. "I don't want to see her." He didn't mean it.

"Then you'll never know."

I turned to walk back to my Volvo.

"Edward." It was Sam.

I faced him again. His expression was grim.

"We'll talk with the elders. Tell them what you've said. We'll let you know."

I nodded, climbed into my car, and drove away, not sure where I was going next.

* * *

The night blurred past me, yellow lines whizzing next to the car like arrows on the black tarmac.

On my cell phone, voicemails and text messages reminded me of where I should be.

_Rose feels rly bad. Was accdnt. No1 thoght Bella wd run 4 it again, after she ran out on Alice & Jasper in AZ & worried us all 2 death._ That was a text from Emmett, of course.

"_Edward, please come home_," pleaded Esme on my voicemail. _"You've got to let us help you find Bella. Everyone's out there now, searching, but we need your help. I'm at home. Come home. We'll find her."_ A pause as she reconsidered what she'd said. _"She'll come back_._"_

A single text from Jasper hit me the hardest. _You're doing it again_.

I knew he meant isolating myself from them, the way I had when I'd left Forks, and Bella. I'd destroyed our family for a while. I sensed it from all of them when I'd returned, but most of all from Jasper, who'd felt it acutely from his soulmate. Alice would never tell me how badly I'd hurt her, but Jasper would, and did.

Still, I couldn't go home yet.

I'd driven past some of Bella's friends' houses, but I couldn't make myself knock on their doors. I sensed their thoughts – trivial ones, like planning dinner and making lists of what they needed to buy for a college dorm room. No one thought about Bella. I figured if they'd seen her, her notably changed image would still be lingering in their minds, if only subconsciously. Besides, Bella wasn't exactly close to any of them; in my heart of hearts, I didn't really think she'd gone to Angela's or Mike's house. It was Charlie and Jacob she cared about, and they had not spoken with her.

Now on Highway 101 I was speeding, not even bothering to send out feelers for policemen lying in wait to dole out speeding tickets. My thoughts whirred around my head like the dark scenery shooting past. The pine trees loomed like craggy, dark giants against the night sky. The clock in my car told me it was nearly eleven. I would have to call my family soon and let them know I was all right, and that I hadn't found Bella. But first I had some thinking to do.

Something had happened to me tonight, something curious. Something necessary.

I had decided to fight for Bella.

Charlie's regret, an open wound so many years after his wife left him, had planted a seed in me that Jacob's pummeling had brought to fruition.

Would I be the man left behind, like Charlie? Not if I could help it. Would I be the one who didn't deserve his wife, as Jacob thought? Hell, no.

I would fight to keep my wife.

It was peculiar, almost a letting go of control, even as I vowed to take action. For so long I'd wallowed in self-pity, not trusting the proof that Bella gave me, over and over again, that she loved me. She'd sacrificed her _life_, for God's sake, to be with me, and I'd acknowledged her love then, in that horrific moment. I had reluctantly taken that sacrifice as the ultimate proof of her devotion. But now that she had disappeared, I was overcome by doubt once more, as if nothing she'd done for me, for us, had mattered a whit.

Another minute rolled by as I digested this. I was doing Bella a disservice by not trusting her. I needed to change.

Could I trust her love? I had to; there was no other choice. Could there be some other reason – besides my first assumption that she wanted to escape me – that made her leave the house without telling anyone why? Some other rationale for her feeling trapped? Of course, though I didn't know her motive just now. This was Bella, after all; often, before full consideration, she would take matters into her own hands.

Taking matters into her own hands. Her own hands. The phrase niggled at my mind.

And then my phone rang.

It was Alice's international cell phone. Her flight must have just landed.

I answered quickly, but Alice spoke over my greeting. "Why in the world is Bella on her way to Italy?"

I braked suddenly and pulled off to the side of the road. It was a moment before I found my voice. "_What?_"

"Hold on." I heard her rustling with something; perhaps she was reaching into her purse for her passport. "I'm on my way to the immigration line." The airport was noisy around her. I heard instructions in Italian being broadcast over a loudspeaker.

"Talk to me, Alice. What did you see?"

"She's on the next flight here. Alone. Why?"

"I didn't know. She was upset. She ran away from Rosalie this afternoon. I've looked all over for her. You're telling me she's on her way to _Italy?_"

"Yes. Her plans are murky, but I believe she thinks she's going to handle the Volturi alone."

My throat tightened.

"Edward?"

"Please tell me you're joking."

"I wouldn't. Not about something like that."

My forehead fell into my free hand and I stared at my lap. The car's engine droned patiently as my mind spiraled into frantic despair.

"Oh," Alice went on, lowering her voice, "you can tell the family that I still don't crave human blood. Bella's power affected me all during the flight, and here in the airport, too. So that's one good thing."

It was. But at the moment I couldn't muster a response.

"Come quickly," she said unnecessarily.

"Of course," I said at last. "Can you find her, before she … does anything?"

"I'll try. My best chance is to wait here at the airport until her flight lands and then – "

The silence was sudden.

"Alice? Alice?"

There was dread in her voice. "Oh, no."

"Talk to me. "

"They're everywhere."

"_Alice?_"

"Someone – someone contacted the Volturi about _me_. Maybe someone at the Seattle airport, some lackey of theirs who works for the airline, I don't know. But they're on the other side of the immigration line. They're here to – to _greet_ me."

"_Alice._ _Run_."

* * *

_**Author's Note: Sorry for leaving you with another cliffhanger! Looks like there will be one or possibly two more chapters to find out what will happen to our hero and heroine. Will you stay tuned? Thanks again for reading, and for all your lovely feedback. :) **_


	8. Family

My sense of time was skewed, and I was powerless to alter that feeling. The hours seemed to go on and on, from the first flight leg out of Seattle, to the layover in Germany, and finally into the second leg heading into Pisa, Italy, the nearest city to Volterra.

Jasper and I huddled next to each other on the flights because no one else could have endured being so close to us in our ruined states – though, to be fair, everyone else in our family was nearly as miserable and fearful as we were. The two of us didn't bother speaking aloud to each other, because what was there to say? Nothing the other couldn't already sense, nothing the other wasn't already thinking. Silent panic, like a wrecking ball, seemed to smash into and careen off of one another, knocking deeper fissures in the façades that contained our composures.

We'd lost our wives; we had no way of knowing where Alice and Bella were, if they were alone or together, or whether they were safe. I felt as though half of me was missing, and I knew Jasper felt the same way. He was very afraid.

And because of my visit with the Quileute pack, I'd quite possibly annihilated our chances of a return to our home in Forks. If we returned. For now, Carlisle had asked that we not discuss that part of our dilemma, the possibility that we might not have a home in Forks anymore. There were, as Emmett said, "bigger fish to fry."

I closed my eyes, focused on the loud droning of the plane's engine, and went over the turns of events in my mind for the hundredth time, trying to look for a solution that I hadn't seen yet.

Alice couldn't have run, though I'd suggested, in my panic, that she do just that. She'd always had a cooler head than I, and she realized there was, of course, nowhere she could go. Alone, what escape could she find in a public place, surrounded by humans and the Volturi's minions?

Instead, she'd tucked her cell phone into her purse without ending the call, probably hoping to give me as much information about what was about to happen to her as possible. She'd managed to remain courteous as she was surrounded. They'd politely taken her. I'd heard them walking. Alice had tried to ask questions, anything to give me clues about their plans, but they hadn't replied. Soon I'd heard the sounds of cars over their footsteps, which began to echo – had they gone into the airport parking garage? Then the phone's signal was lost.

I'd raced home in alarm to tell my family – to tell Jasper – the horrible news.

He'd blamed himself, of course, for not keeping Alice home; he should have made her wait to travel with the rest of us. At least then they'd be together.

But he couldn't have stopped her, not when an idea had bloomed in her head. Alice was as strong-willed as Bella, in her own way, though she always told Jasper ahead of time what she was about to do. It was almost a joke between them, except that now it wasn't funny at all.

Bella, on the other hand, just snuck off and did it, whatever it was she had in her mind. I preferred Alice's expression of free will.

Free will. I had to correct my old way of thinking. It wasn't "free will" in the sense I'd been taught as a boy. "Will" had always meant the potential for sin or for virtue: free will was a gift from God, yes, but it was something that needed to be monitored and corrected by someone – a parent, a priest, God Himself. We couldn't be trusted with our own free will. Since I wasn't sure that God believed in me anymore, and therefore probably wasn't keeping tabs on me, I'd come to believe that free will merely meant living one's life, making one's own decisions, and bearing the consequences oneself, whether they be good or bad.

Apparently Bella didn't believe that I had faith in her. Perhaps I didn't. It hurt to admit something that ugly to myself, that I didn't always trust her choices, and, moreover, that I considered myself important enough to pass judgment. This epiphany bore further scrutiny, but I hadn't the mental faculties for it at the moment. I turned my mind back to the immediate problem.

Back at home, Jasper had remained perfectly still, staring straight ahead at nothing as he perched on the piano bench during our family's hurried discussion of the situation. His thoughts had lurched and staggered like a wounded but dogged hero, one who was determined to win the war despite the loss of a limb. Now and then he'd offered, in a dead voice, some helpful suggestion: he'd recommended we use false identification in hopes that we'd be able to sneak into Italy without the Volturi knowing immediately. This was Jasper, still thinking ahead in the face of doom, a steadfast soldier to the end. I hope this wasn't the end.

What we knew: We knew Bella's gift continued to affect Alice overseas, suggesting that physically touching Bella created a permanent aversion to human blood. This could be a powerful weapon for us, if we could find Bella before the Volturi got her. We had to assume Alice was still alive, at least to serve as a lure for Jasper; but we didn't know that for a fact.

What we didn't know: We didn't know whether Bella had been captured. We didn't know what the Volturi would learn from Alice, or what they'd assume about our plans. We didn't know the Volturi's intentions, though we could presume they meant to absorb us into their ranks. But certain knowledge of their purpose could inform our approach, dictating whether we should present ourselves peacefully or launch a surprise attack. On the phone, Alice hadn't even had time to tell me if she'd gotten a better read on what the Volturi had planned for all of us when we arrived, as we were supposed to do tomorrow.

We'd booked our flights immediately, each of us using a false name, as Jasper had suggested, and packing the appropriate forged passport into a small travel bag. Perhaps we'd be able to locate Bella and rescue Alice, thereby strengthening our numbers before we faced the Volturi.

But there were more questions than answers, and if we were to escape with Alice and Bella in tow – if we were to survive at all – it would likely be more accountable to luck than anything else. When we stood before Aro and he laid hands on us – as he undoubtedly would do – he'd know our line of attack immediately. So there was hardly any point planning. The best we could do, Carlisle had said, was to plead for Alice's and Bella's safety, and our release. If we had a secret strategy for battle, Aro would know at once and the triumvirate would be able to parry quite easily. Aro's mercy was our best hope, which wasn't much of a hope at all.

And now here we sat after hours and hours of travel, at nearly eleven o'clock at night, a full day before we should have arrived with Alice and Bella alongside us, waiting for the "fasten seat belt" lights to go _ding_ and allow us to escape the aircraft.

As we somberly gathered our bags and exited the plane, we all knew that we might not be able to leave the terminal of our own volition, in the two small rented cars we'd booked online under our false names. But we hoped.

Luckily my hopes had not been high, for they would have been dashed before we reached the immigration area.

There were the blank-faced Volturi foot soldiers, outnumbering us by four, dressed in phony airport security clothing and sporting dark glasses or contact lenses to hide their red irises. They waited for us, just as they had been waiting for Alice. The tall one in front – I gathered from his thoughts that his name was Vittorio, though I didn't really care who he was at all – gestured for us to follow him, and we did.

I was curiously unafraid of them. After all, what could they do to me that would be worse than taking Bella from me? And until I knew whether or not she was safe, I had to be patient. If Bella was dead, I would kill as many of the Volturi as I could before they took me down.

But I wouldn't fight here. There could be human casualties in the airport, for one thing. And our identities as vampires – or at least as creatures with superhuman strength – would be revealed, thus ruining any chance at negotiation with the Volturi. This was presuming that negotiation was even an option anymore. More than that, it would spell slavery or death for Alice, and possibly for Bella, if they had her, too. Death for them, and for the rest of my family. We'd all agreed that we would go quietly if the Volturi met us at the airport.

So we said nothing as they efficiently herded our group toward a side exit near the immigration lines. We padded down nondescript hallways, passing door after door, listening to the high-pitched scream of airplane engines and sharp Italian voices barking instructions over the airport's intercom system.

Now they had us, which was what they'd wanted all along. They easily could kill us all, or force us to serve them by threatening to kill our spouses if we didn't cooperate.

I scanned our captors' thoughts. I sensed turmoil, some general chaos; but each vampire had been instructed to internally recite complex passages in foreign languages. It was difficult to read specific thoughts within the jumble of so many new minds intentionally scrambling themselves. Why all the barriers? Aro had the advantage; what could he want to keep from me? Unless Bella was already … no. She wasn't dead. She couldn't be.

With my mind I reached out again, this time to my family, grasping for answers.

In front of me, Carlisle walked silently beside Esme. They brushed knuckles now and then, a whisper of comfort each to the other. Carlisle's mind was oddly empty, only taking in his immediate surroundings and our captors. I'd sensed this a few times before, his ability to wipe his mental slate clean, so to speak, particularly during moments of duress. Perhaps it was his age – his true age – that gave him this skill. I could only suppose he was emptying his mind purposely to make room for a solution, if one should arise.

Esme's mind, by contrast, was top-full of every wonderful remembrance of the years she'd spent with Carlisle, and with all of her "children," including Bella. Each scene was colored by profound sadness as she imagined that this would be the last time anyone would pay homage to this smile, that frown, those moments. _Life is so fragile_, she thought, _even for us_. Her memory shifted to my long, pale fingers playing the piano for her, for Bella. I couldn't dwell there any longer, so I moved on.

Behind me was Rosalie. Back at the house I'd forgiven her for letting Bella slip away. How could I not? There was too much at stake for me to carry my anger with me here; we had to remain strong, united. Besides, Bella would have found a way out no matter what. But Rosalie was thrashing herself still. She and I had nearly destroyed our family when she'd rashly told me my all-too-human Bella was dead, because Rosalie hadn't known the lengths to which my selfish grief would carry me. And now she was walking with our family into the lion's den, and she had to blame someone, and for once she could find no one to blame but herself. If I'd had any emotion to spare, I would have pitied her.

Just behind Rosalie, bringing up the rear of our group, protector as always, strode Emmett. He was in a quiet rage, an animal cornered, kept in check only by watching his wife's hair swing side to side as she stepped quietly in front of him. He was focusing on the scent of her shampoo as it wafted towards him in the stuffy hallway.

Jasper and I marched side by side, between the two couples. He was counting his footsteps. Why? To have something to think about besides his worry for Alice? Was he numbering the steps to his death? Or was he trying to keep track of where we were within the airport? I decided the latter was more likely.

Just then he looked at me, his dark golden eyes penetrating mine.

_Today is a good day to die_, he thought. And then flashes of dozens of moments with Alice exploded in his mind like fireworks against a black sky.

I gave him a tiny nod. My emotions were overcome by memories of Bella, and I felt myself slipping into dreadful certainty.

_All right_, Jasper thought and looked ahead again, his jaw set.

Within the span of nine quick footsteps, we'd just agreed to battle the Volturi to the death for our wives.

* * *

I was alone in an underground room made of thick, white stone. They'd taken my small bag, with its phony passport inside, so I had nothing to look at in here except for one wooden chair. There was no light in the room, not that I needed it. The door was thick wood and iron, with a heavy bolt. Two vampires lurked just outside, and more dotted the hall, guarding other doors. Torches burned in iron sconces along the passage.

My hallway guards were chatting with each other in Italian about some Danish film they'd just seen last night, following Aro's orders to keep talking so that their prisoner couldn't read their minds. Although they both considered this a strange order, they followed it. This was a regular night's work for them. It was possible they didn't even know who they were guarding, or why.

I sensed the same chaos in my current guards as in our welcoming committee, though I still couldn't tell what was causing it. But finally, as they ran out of things to say about the film they'd both seen, I was able to pinpoint the reason for the distress. They chose a new topic quickly – the human Pope, of all things – but it was too late. I knew what they were hiding.

The Volturi were upset, very upset indeed, that something had happened to their usual appetites.

I pressed my hands and forehead against the cool stone wall.

Bella was safe.

Her talent was the only thing that could cause such unrest.

I understood why Aro might want to hide any weakness from me, but he should have known I'd discover it sooner or later.

I silently thanked God for that small tidbit from the guards' minds. Bella could be a captive here, like the rest of us, but she still existed. And so would I.

_Edward_.

It was Alice. Why hadn't I searched for her mind immediately? I was distraught, but I should have remembered her.

I learned quickly through her thoughts, which she opened fully to me, that she was in a room like mine, and had been since they'd brought her here. She'd seen our arrival a few minutes ago and given the captors time to deposit us in our rooms before she reached out to me. To keep from pacing and drawing the attention of the guards, I knelt on the gritty stone floor and listened carefully.

_I'm fine, they haven't hurt me. Aro came to my room and touched me, so he knows about Bella's gift. He's very intrigued, which isn't good._

I pursed my lips. No, that wasn't good at all.

_Bella isn't here, but I know what she's doing. She ran from the airport tarmac after her flight landed, faster than the humans could see, smart girl, so she wasn't captured by the Volturi inside the terminal …_

Now why hadn't we thought to do that? I cursed my stupidity.

… _and she stole a car to drive into Volterra, just like she and I did the last time we were here. She's been evading the vampires somehow. Maybe she can sense their locations before they reach her, the way she sensed our family on the mountain before the hunt. Something about blood, or rather the absence of it, in our case. Anyhow, she knows where they are, and they can't catch her._

Exultation surged through me like a drug. Perhaps they wouldn't capture her. If Bella was safe, then it didn't matter what happened to me. But the Volturi had the rest of the family, and they wouldn't hesitate to hurt us to lure Bella here.

Alice's mental voice cut into my whirring thoughts.

_Everyone is going insane since Bella arrived in Volterra. No one can feed from humans, and most of them wouldn't consider feeding from animals. Because Aro touched me, he, Caius, and Marcus know the blood aversion is because of Bella, but they aren't telling anyone else the reason yet._

Interesting. I wasn't sure what purpose it would serve, keeping the knowledge from their subjects.

And I had to give Bella credit. The longer she evaded the trackers, the deeper the Volturi's followers would sink into confusion and fear over their loss of appetite. Perhaps that would be a good thing, something we could use.

_Things are in quite an uproar, and the leaders aren't sure what they want to do with Bella if they find her. They want to use us as collateral to get her. They want us to join them, or die. That part of their plan hasn't changed. It's what they wanted from the start._

Our chance of escape was looking grimmer by the minute. But I couldn't consider that, because Alice had more to say.

_I don't think Bella even knew I was here, because she'd gone out with Rosalie when I decided to fly here alone. So I doubt she knows you and the rest are here, either; she was expecting us all to arrive tomorrow, as planned. Edward, she's going to present herself as a sacrifice to the Volturi._

My heart shuddered, and I shook my head. This couldn't be happening.

_She wants to offer them her gift to use as they see fit, as long as they agree to leave the rest of us alone. She must not know they already have us._

It had been Carlisle's suggestion to use Bella as a weapon, and she'd taken the idea and decided to offer the weapon to the Volturi, to try to steer them away from the rest of the Cullens. Stubborn to the bone. I was angry, and terrified, but I couldn't blame her. I could see myself making the same choice to protect her if I'd been in her shoes.

I was still silent and on my knees. My fingers gripped the floor as though to keep me from sliding off it into oblivion. I stared at my hands, wondering how in hell any of us would get out of this.

As if Alice had heard my worry, she spoke again.

_We'll have to try to fight our way out when we face them, and fast. It's the only thing I can think of. We can't keep any other plan from Aro if he manages to touch us_.

Then Alice's thoughts turned to Jasper; she wished she could communicate with him as easily as she had done with me. She was sure, though, that Jasper – through his gift – could feel her love, so specific to him. I caught his thoughts and knew he was comforted. His Alice was still alive. There was hope.

Before I had a chance to absorb what Alice had said, her mind spoke to mine again.

_Edward, Bella's on her way here. She's going to confront the Volturi NOW_.

In a split second, I turned over in my mind the pros and cons of hurling my body at the door until it burst open and trying to kill all the guards in the hall so that I could free my family and have a small army to help me save Bella. I crouched to leap.

_Don't do that, Edward_, thought Alice.

Of course, of course, she was right. Damn it all. They wouldn't hurt Bella; Aro wanted her talent in his arsenal, Alice saw that. It took effort but I steadied myself, cursing, and began to pace the room like a caged lion. I knew that rash actions would spell doom for all of as quickly as if I'd dismembered us all myself. We were no match for the Volturi's countless soldiers. I wished I could communicate with Jasper or Carlisle, who usually had the best sense of strategy. But, as Alice had said, even the most sophisticated tactics would be useless once Aro touched us and found out what we had planned.

We were helpless, consigned only to react to whatever Aro, Marcus, and Caius decided to do to us.

Lambs at the slaughter.

I reached out with my mind to Aro's. Because of his age, he was very good at blocking an invading mind reader, and he must have known I'd try to pry. I sensed glee in the thoughts I could grip, and I was reminded once more of the thrill Aro gleaned from unusual circumstances. Anything that truly surprised him was delightful, a change from the doldrums of his usual existence; and he found enchantment in other vampires' desperation, perhaps because it had been so long since he himself had felt any strong emotion. Now he adored playing the role of benevolent father figure, simply so he could shock his "children" with his rejections, his refusals, his death sentences. In that sense, he was the most metaphorical of all vampires, leeching energy from those who needed his help most of all.

Disgusted, I turned my thoughts from Aro toward Marcus, and then Caius, and likewise learned nothing new from them. I focused on my family members, each one isolated in a simple room like mine, each one without any more of a plan than I had.

Minutes dragged by, then half an hour. I paced. My mind kept flitting back to Aro, when suddenly, though his predatory eyes …

I saw Bella.

She'd been brought to face the three leaders inside a huge, sanctuary-like hall. The room was at street level, with glass set into high arched windows divided by wooden panes. Candelabras stood here and there, splattering golden, flickering light onto the pale stone floor, columns, and walls.

Bella waited. She looked so small, so alone. I ached for her.

Aro, with Marcus and Caius behind him, stood peering down at Bella from the top of four stone steps that spanned the width of the large room; if this were a church, they were standing on the altar area. There were numerous guards around the three leaders, and even more surrounding Bella. She stood apart from the guards who had escorted her inside, and I saw her shrug away from one who tried to steer her closer to the trio. Though she avoided his touch, she did as he wished and moved closer. By not touching that guard, she was making sure he could continue to feed from humans after she was miles away from him.

Bella was controlling her weapon. Good girl.

"Please release my family," she said, and her musical voice rang in my ears.

"We do not – " began Marcus from behind Aro's right shoulder.

"They're here." Bella gestured behind her and below, as if she knew exactly where we waited in our cells. "I know they're here."

"Do you?" asked Aro, smiling.

Could she sense us, individually, as she had on the mountain? Perhaps that was why she was presenting herself to the Volturi at this moment; with her strange blood sense she had known that we'd arrived early, and that time had run out.

Bella's expression remained hard as she stared into Aro's eyes, even though it was plain that she was frightened. It was odd, as always, viewing her through another's mind, but I was so overjoyed to see her that the sensation didn't disturb me as it often did.

"I won't talk until I see them all," she said. "Safe."

I sensed Aro's delight with Bella's vampire form, his curiosity about her ability.

He wanted to touch Bella, to determine if – now that she was a vampire – he could now read her thoughts. But he stopped himself, based on what he'd gathered from his reading of Alice: Bella's touch would create in him a permanent aversion to human blood. He stepped backward an inch.

Aro nodded to the soldier Bella had avoided touching. "Have the Cullens' guards bring them here."

It was nothing more than curiosity that made him acquiesce to Bella's demand. He wanted the stakes to be as high as they could be. He would reunite all the lovers and watch what happened as their family was devoured by his. His inward giggle made my stomach turn.

Bella turned her face away from Aro for a moment to watch the guard leave, and I noticed how filthy her clothes were. She must have had to do quite a bit of scurrying to avoid the Volturi's trackers. When she turned back to Aro, her burgundy eyes – deepening toward black – told me she hadn't fed again since our hunt together two nights ago. Her hands were shaking from her newborn's need to feed, and her face was tight with fear. But her chin remained high.

"Bella, we are very pleased to see you," said Aro, with a little bow, "and to learn that your transition is complete."

Bella didn't respond.

"We anticipate that your unusual ability will be the perfect addition to our little army of talent."

Rage flitted across Bella's face, but she said nothing.

"Of course, we've wanted Edward and Alice since their last visit, and I must say that Caius, in particular, is interested in Jasper's talent, which Jane and Demetri witnessed on your wedding day."

I realized then that Jane, Demetri, and Felix were in the room, skulking in the shadows on Bella's left. Jane's brother, Alec, stood at Jane's side. His impatience made his thoughts bloody, and I wondered what his talent was. I hoped I wouldn't find out.

Aro descended the stone steps and stood a body's length from Bella, wanting to show her that he trusted her so that she would trust him in return. Pompous old man. Bella's newborn strength enabled her to outrun _me_ on our first hunt; she could thump him on the nose before he could even think the word, "Oops."

Then again, Aro had us. So he knew Bella wouldn't harm him.

"Your family is powerful. But _you_, my dear …" His voice was a papery whisper, full of ghastly promise. "You could do great things. Hmm."

He studied her as if she were a particularly rare orchid.

Bella said not a word.

"As you wish," said Aro, folding his hands in front of him, amused. "We will wait for the arrival of your family."

Minutes rolled by as I watched Bella through Aro's eyes, waiting for the guard he'd sent to our chambers to turn up. To her credit, she didn't flinch under his gaze, or fidget; but she did dart her eyes about the room, so she'd know who surrounded her. I was sure she'd seen Jane and the others.

At last I heard Aro's messenger giving orders to the guards on our hall. I stood away from the door so they wouldn't feel threatened by me as they opened it. I had to keep calm until circumstances dictated otherwise.

I was glad to have my family around me again; but we had to march in single file, with a guard to either side of each of us, as we went to the great hall. I kept my mind inside Aro's as we walked, so I'd know what was happening there. He and Bella merely looked at each other.

We climbed narrow stairs to an antechamber. Tall wooden doors opened for us with a dry, creaking sound, and there she was, already turning to face me. My Bella. Naturally, my pace quickened, but my two guards restrained me. I knew they would not let me embrace her, and I had to fight the instinct to shake them off of me and run to her.

Bella's eyes locked onto mine, and the relief on her face at seeing me was a balm to my frightened heart. _I'm sorry_, she mouthed.

_I love you_, I mouthed back. It didn't matter that she'd endangered her life, and ours. She was safe. We'd work out the rest of it when – if – we got out of this.

Alice was right behind me as we entered the room. Bella looked at Alice and mouthed, _Did it work?_

Alice nodded with pursed lips, her expression intense and satisfied. Alice knew that Bella wanted to know for certain whether Alice's theory was correct – that a touch from Bella would create a permanent aversion to human blood.

Of course Aro and the others had witnessed this exchange, but they remained unthreatened. Aro casually approached Alice and patted her condescendingly on the cheek, as if she were a child. By touching Alice, he now knew what she had just communicated to Bella, but he saw no danger in it. He also knew we might try to fight our way out. But our guards were already close and ready to kill. To Aro, there was nothing to fear.

Bella gave me another look laden with emotion before turning back to face Aro, who slowly strode toward us. He surveyed us as though he were counting new heads of cattle that had fortuitously wandered onto his farmland.

A maelstrom of thought from my family nearly overwhelmed me, and I had to work to steady myself. Rosalie's anguish was particularly insistent as her rape replayed in her mind. She was terrified, thinking of things that are unavoidable: of how you can stare, frozen, into the faces of your enemies and know that nothing you do or say can stop them. It's just a matter of when, and how much it will hurt. Some things were worse than death.

Emmett strained to reach Rosalie, but his guards threw him to the floor with a stony crash. He glared up at them, then caught Carlisle's warning look and composed himself before he rose. Not being able to fight was agony for him. His life would not end this way. Not this way.

Carlisle's and Esme's thoughts were practically identical in this moment. Their family was being ripped apart, and they were too weak to hold it together.

Jasper and Alice drank in the sight of each other, both desperate for escape now that they were reunited.

Then Aro spoke.

"Welcome, Carlisle. We are pleased that your family came promptly at our request."

"You look well, as always," Carlisle said, nodding at all three leaders.

Of course he was feeling as trapped as the rest of us, but he had to present a façade of decorum. Even the lowest criminal was expected to show the Volturi the respect they had earned. Carlisle's history with them, in particular, demanded it.

"We wanted to wait until Edward transformed Bella before summoning your family here," said Aro. "We would not have been surprised to see her change her mind at the last moment, hence our sending Jane and Demetri to ensure the transition. We can't have – how does one say it? – loose ends."

"Of course," said Carlisle politely.

I quickly realized that this was a negotiation between two leaders: ours and theirs. A flare of resentment burst in me, and I could see Bella chafing to speak; but we both remained silent. I caught sight of Jasper and he shook his head slightly, thinking, _Our time will come, Edward. Wait_.

While Carlisle and Aro exchanged a few more phony pleasantries, my mind searched the other vampires in the room, whose thoughts were less opaque than those of our guards. What I found in the Volturi underlings was very interesting.

The vampires were highly distressed, naturally, not knowing why they couldn't feed. But they were also angry with their _leaders_ for not knowing why, or not telling them if they did know, or not fixing the problem if they could.

I glanced at Jasper again, wishing I could communicate this to him. But he could feel the anger and rebellion surging through the room and gave me a tiny nod.

My attention was drawn back to Aro as he spoke to Bella.

"My child," he said. His smile looked for a grotesque moment as though he wanted to eat her, but then it settled into something more paternal. "As a welcome to you, and a congratulations on your wedding to Edward – " Here his gaze rolled over me in a very proprietary way. " – we wish to offer you a gift."

Carlisle tensed, and his thoughts reached toward Bella.

Aro looked at a guard near a small wooden side door. "Bring in Gianna."

What was this about? I tried to tune in to Carlisle; but as the human drew closer, the vampires in the room grew more and more agitated, their mental protestations like a thousand silver utensils clattering to a marble floor.

The human was here now, her frightened eyes searching the room until they lit upon Felix's hulking form in the shadows. Her thoughts were confused, full of panic and dread. _If Felix is going to change me, why is he way over there?_

I remembered her now. Gianna was a receptionist of some sort, and Felix had flirted with her when Alice, Bella, and I had been escorted to the Volturi leaders the last time we were here. Gianna had wanted Felix to turn her.

A guard – who could barely stand to touch her, her blood repulsed him so strongly – held Gianna, and the vampires' revulsion reached a fever pitch now that she was among us. Many placed their hands over their mouths and noses, or turned away from her as if that would lessen the stench. Gianna was the one human who had been allowed to remain on the premises since the outbreak of the blood revulsion yesterday; but even though they were used to Gianna's scent, they hardly could bear it in such close proximity now. Gianna didn't know why Felix and everyone else had been avoiding her for the past day, and their odd behavior now was almost more upsetting to her than if they'd tried to attack her.

My family felt the same nausea we'd felt when we'd encountered the bleeding hiker in the woods. My distaste for this girl's blood was no greater than it had been for Charlie's or the Quileutes'. But the Italian vampires had to restrain themselves from bolting from the room. Perhaps there was some sort of intensification of Bella's gift around vampires who regularly drank human blood. Whatever the reason, my family was positively calm compared to the vampires who surrounded us.

All except for Carlisle, whose mind was a cyclone of despair.

"Please, Bella," said Aro, gesturing to Gianna, "drink. I'm certain you're thirsty."

Gianna began to tremble and beg, the way most humans do when facing the executioner. She pleaded with Felix. He ignored her.

"Drink," commanded Aro.

The shaking of Bella's hands increased, but she said, "No, thank you."

_Don't_, I finally heard. Carlisle was desperate to speak to Bella aloud, but he didn't dare. _Don't_. It was a contract, an initiation; if Bella took what Aro offered her, she was agreeing to join his family. Carlisle had had to do the same. It was expected of all initiates. You accepted a gift, usually a blood gift, and then you swore your loyalty.

"Please," insisted Aro.

Bella's voice quivered. "I can't."

"Aro," said Carlisle, "respectfully, I assure you this isn't necessary."

"And I assure you it is," snapped Aro. "Alec. Bella needs some help."

I turned as Jane's brother Alec stepped forward from the shadows, but my eyes had barely taken in his face when I felt a terrible surge invade my body and take something from me. It thundered through the room like a tidal wave, and vampires fell to their knees all around me.

The most intense thirst I'd ever experienced raked my throat, left me as parched as if someone had drained every drop of sustenance from my body instantaneously. I felt like a carcass drying in the desert sun. I was burning, burning. I needed blood, more than I ever had or ever would again.

And yet, because of Bella's power, the blood of the human Gianna still sickened me. I would not touch her.

Bella toppled to the floor and lay there in a fetal position, her hands fisted near her face as she convulsed. Alec's power, apparently, did work on her; his ability must have been based on emotional control like Jasper's, not cognitive control like mine, Jane's, or Aro's.

"Bella!" I shouted as I ran to her.

My guards were too incapacitated to move. They, like everyone else, wanted the human badly; yet her blood still repelled them. Emmett raced to Rosalie, and Esme clutched Carlisle. Jasper collapsed, hewn down by the devastating emotional tempest in the room. Alice cradled him.

"Bella," I whispered, wrapping my arms around her small, shaking body. She whimpered. Her eyes fixed hungrily on Gianna, but she couldn't take her blood. Vampires groaned and snarled all around us, sounding like inmates in an insane asylum.

It was a powerful gift Alec possessed, propelling vampires back to their basest, most primitive natures. Surely Aro used Alec's talent often, to keep his minions in line and remind them of what they really were.

Somehow, perhaps because of their age, the three Volturi leaders maintained a degree of self-control, though their lips curled with the distasteful extremes of revulsion and thirst. Aro spoke gently, the hem of his robes only a few feet away from Bella as she shook in my arms. "Child, why won't you drink?"

"She can't!" I said through clenched teeth.

"Very interesting," said Aro, and I watched the hem of his robes flutter as he stepped away. "This needs more study. Felix."

Felix approached haltingly, like a zombie from a horror film, all his power and grace devoured by the warring hunger and revulsion in him. His nose wrinkled as though he were wading through the most repugnant filth at the bottom of a sewer. Gianna's hopeful face was pathetic to see.

"Will you serve?" Aro asked pleasantly.

I didn't understand the expression, but Felix did. He raised his hand and, with one quick slash of a fingernail, opened a slit in Gianna's neck. Blood spurted from her jugular vein to the floor in a jet of regular heartbeats, fast as life. She tumbled to her knees, clutching her throat, still silently begging Felix. He turned his back on her and walked back to his position in the shadows. She fell forward, trying to support herself with one hand while the other remained clamped over her gushing wound.

Her blood would spill until she was dead, because no vampire was going to drink from her. I heard whines and groans from everywhere. The mental hysteria around me was intolerable. I held onto Bella's stiff body, my own shuddering violently. Through the din I heard Alice whispering in Jasper's ear to be strong, that it had to end soon.

"Such a waste," said Aro lightly from above us.

Gianna's forehead touched the stone floor, then her arm gave out and she lay prostrate facing Felix. Her eyes glazed over and in another few moments she was unconscious. At last the poor woman was dead, her blood pooling around her like a wet, sticky halo.

The panicked vampires could hardly contain themselves. There was blood, lots of it; but they couldn't have it, didn't want it. Jane groaned. I heard Alec gritting his teeth, and his power seemed to flicker on and off like a light switch as he battled his own nausea. Demetri hit the wall with one fist, sending stone and dust to the floor. Felix, his back still to Gianna, was wishing he could vomit.

And Carlisle was relieved. This was a test, and Bella had passed it.

"That's enough, Alec," said Aro.

Blessedly, the onslaught of intense thirst ceased. For several moments, all I heard were vampires rising to their feet again.

"Bella, I am sorry we could not tempt you with our offering," said Aro.

As quickly as she was able, Bella rose to her feet. She wouldn't stay on the ground, no matter how overcome she'd been seconds earlier. Shakily, I stood with her and wrapped my fingers through hers.

"Is there … something else you would prefer?" Aro smiled. "A male, perhaps?"

"My family only feeds on animals," said Bella. "You know that."

Jane hissed at Bella's rudeness.

Aro's eyes narrowed. "You two." He indicated the guard who had brought in Gianna and the vampire next to him. "Dispose of that. And clean the floor."

As the guards gagged through their macabre task – dragging Gianna's limp body from the room and sopping up the blood smear with bleach-soaked rags – Aro continued talking as if they were merely wiping up spilled wine at a party.

Though they were glad the blood was being removed, the vampires around us remained confused and horrified by what they'd just endured. What had caused this revulsion? How could they reverse it? Could they ever feed again? Why were Marcus, Caius, and Aro being so calm about all of this?

"We three have discussed your situation, Carlisle," said Aro, his tone suddenly brisk as he approached him. The analysis of the specimen and her effect on other vampires was over; it was time to talk business. "We cannot tolerate a coven of your size, even if you remain in North America. Vampires could flock to you, seeking asylum, or protection. Your numbers could grow, as would your power."

"Yes," said Carlisle, knowing it would be rude to disagree. "But understand that we have no desire to increase our numbers, or to compete with the Volturi in any respect."

Aro touched Carlisle's elbow as if he were merely greeting an old friend. He smiled when he saw that Carlisle was speaking the truth.

"I know, Carlisle."

Aro stepped away and faced Esme, who regarded him levelly through her fear.

"But I also know that you value family above all else." His smile at Esme was patronizing. "Could you turn someone away? You would defy us in the name of compassion. You must recall the newborn who was part of that _unfortunate_ attack on your coven. If we hadn't intervened, she would be with you still, all because she promised she'd join you and try to live as you do. Your family would grow, despite your good intentions."

"Perhaps," said Carlisle. "But even so, we will not challenge you."

Aro smiled at Alice, who was still gripping the devastated Jasper's hand. They both met Aro's gaze steadily. "The future can change," Aro said, "if you will pardon the expression, in a heartbeat. One little decision can alter everything. Alice knows this." He stared at her until she reluctantly nodded.

Carlisle lowered his head. There was nothing he could say to convince the Volturi that we would never threaten their power.

"So," Aro said brightly, as if the matter was settled, "the best solution is for your family to join _our_ family. When you took leave of us years ago, Carlisle, we hated to let you go. But we were curious about your new … way of life. I will share a secret with you: we did not think you would survive for long." Aro chuckled. "But we always welcomed your return. And now that we've met your talented children, I must admit our appetite cannot be satiated unless we have all of you."

"No." Bella loosened her fingers from mine and stepped toward Aro.

"Bella," warned Carlisle, and I felt disaster buzzing in my stomach.

Aro turned, bemused, to face Bella. "No?"

"I came here to offer myself – myself alone – for you to use as you wish." Her hands clenched into fists and her back straightened. "I've already sacrificed my human family. I won't have my new one enslaved."

Jane rushed forward, and I darted between her and Bella.

Jane's fury capsized me, and I sank under the agony. Everything went white and my muscles seized. I couldn't even scream. Like the last time, I had the feeling that this suffering was all I knew, all I had ever known, and it would never end. I felt Bella's hands on my chest, but my neck had contracted backward so that I could only see Aro's upside down feet. Bella was yelling for Jane to stop, stop it now. Please.

"My dear Bella," Aro explained, as though no one were writhing in front of him, "your sentiment is charmingly unselfish, but I must point out one obvious fact. We already _have_ your family. There is no negotiation."

Alice gasped, and at the same moment Bella said, "Then you leave me no choice."

Bella's hands left me. The torture stopped. When I could focus my eyes, I could hardly believe what I saw. Bella and Jane stood above me, and Bella's fingers were around Jane's throat.

"How was your last supper, Jane?" Bella whispered into her face.

Jane shrieked, "Get her off me!" She shoved Bella away, and Bella skidded across the floor and hit the opposite wall. Bits of stone crumbled and fell to the floor.

I leapt to my feet, ready to rip Jane apart. Jane turned her fierce gaze on Bella, but she still couldn't hurt her with her mental torture.

Bella was next to me in the blink of an eye and she laid a hand on my chest, shaking her head at me.

She turned to Jane again. "Let me tell you what has just happened to you, Jane, in case Aro won't."

Jane was about to torture me again; but, hearing Bella's words, she touched her throat and waited. Aro's expression was horrified, and he moved silently backward into a throng of guards. All the other vampires in the room waited.

"Being near _me_ is what makes you unable to drink human blood," Bella said, looking around her at all the vampires in the room. "Don't worry; the effect will go away once I'm not around."

She looked at Jane again.

"But once I've _touched_ you, you will never, _ever_ be able to feed from a human again. Even after I've gone."

Jane quickly looked at Aro and saw at once that Bella was telling the truth.

Jane opened her pretty little mouth in a long, silent "o" as she scanned the faces of Marcus and Caius for further proof. Then she took a deep breath and screamed. Her shrieking went on for a full minute. All the vampires near her backed away, even Alec, as if they could somehow "catch" her disease. Jane ran toward Bella, as if to tear her apart with her hands; but Emmett rushed to my side, and the two of us pulled Jane away, still screeching and thrashing. We steered her toward two of the Volturi's vampires, but they refused to hold her.

"Should I touch anyone else?" shouted Bella. She spread her arms like a witch ready to shoot lightening bolts from her fingertips. Everyone froze, staring at her. "No? Then my family and I are leaving now."

"Jane!" hissed Aro. "If you could gather yourself for a moment and turn your energy toward the problem at hand …" Aro nodded at me, Carlisle, and the rest of our family.

To gain control of Bella, he was going to make Jane torture all of us, one by one.

Everyone in my family dropped to a crouch, circling Bella, our backs to each other. Jane couldn't hurt all of us at once, but those of us not being attacked by Jane were likely about to be surrounded by other Volturi soldiers like Demetri and Felix. In fact, the two combatants were already poised to leap at our throats. Demetri had his eye on me; Felix had chosen Emmett. I snarled and prepared to fight.

Then Jasper's power flowed through the room like a hot, dry wind. Dissent. Self-preservation. A deepening of the mistrust that was already present in all of Aro's vampires. I was thrilled and impressed by the precision of his gift, which seemed to settle like dust on all the Volturi soldiers.

Jane then did what no loyal subject of the Volturi had ever done before: she refused to obey.

"You didn't tell me what Bella could do!" she shrieked.

Aro's eyebrows twitched; but he was master, not she. "You will not question my motives. It wasn't for you to know at the time."

"And _now look at me!_" Jane tore at her robes, her hair. "I'm a freak! I'm – I'm going to starve to death!"

"Take her outside!" Aro spat.

The two vampires near Jane stared, unwilling to touch the leper. "But – " one of them began.

"NOW!"

The vampires hesitated – partially because they feared "infection," partially because Jasper had sharpened their rebellion – and Jane shot out both hands and slapped them each on the face, apparently wanting to contaminate them, too, if it were possible. They lowered into a crouch and growled at her, and she countered with a couple of kicks.

"Oh, please," muttered Emmett over the scuffle. "You can still eat bunny rabbits."

Jane and the two vampires fought with each other through the side door, and the brawl continued outside as she turned her mental torture onto each guard in turn and then ran away, sobbing.

"Take them!" Aro ordered the remaining soldiers as he swept his hand toward our family.

Suddenly Bella leapt over Alice, so that she was outside our protective circle.

"Bella, no!" I said.

But she rolled her eyes at me, and I knew she was right. Besides having newborn strength and speed, she also knew that none of the Volturi wanted her touching them. She could merely tap someone and they'd be doomed to a life of "vegetarianism." Bella was our fortress, and we needed to get used to living behind her.

Emmett roared at Felix; but Felix hesitated. So did Demetri, who faced me. Esme's thoughts shot around the room as she tried to determine which vampire was going to strike first, and which of her children she'd have to defend; but no one leapt at us. Hope began to swell in Carlisle and Rosalie. And Alice, although still ready to fight, was positively jubilant, proud of her man and his work.

Jasper relentlessly fine-tuned all the fear, anger, and suspicion in the room, intensifying it into a single chorus of mutiny, until he was certain no one would do a thing Aro asked.

One by one, every vampire abandoned the three leaders – slowly at first, stepping out a side door or edging back to the main entrance, paying no heed to Aro's orders to stay, not caring that they would lose their prestigious positions among the Volturi. Alec cautiously went after Jane. Demetri and Felix both stormed out the large main doors. After those three were gone there was a great exodus, and our family was alone with Aro, Marcus, and Caius.

The only sound was the guttering of the candles. We slowly stood up straight and faced our captors.

Caius descended the stone steps and murmured in Aro's ear, "Well, aren't we in a fine fix?"

For the fist time, I sensed that Marcus and Caius didn't always agree with Aro; in fact, they'd wanted to tell their vampires about Bella Cullen and her gift as soon as Aro had seen the truth in Alice. But Aro had considered Bella's talent a peculiar weapon that ought to be inspected before the full extent of it was divulged to the masses.

Aro glowered at Caius, but said nothing. This was beyond his imagination. Their closest circle had abandoned them.

I went to Bella's side again, and immediately my family gathered near her. I took her hand, lacing our fingers together again. Alice grasped her other hand. One by one each of the family touched Bella somewhere – her shoulder, her waist, her hair.

"Here's the deal," said Bella to the three leaders. "If you or anyone else comes after me or my family, I won't rest until I've contaminated all three of you. Just like Jane."

They looked at her curiously, but I sensed in their thoughts that they believed her. And Jasper knew that they were afraid. Suddenly Alice saw that our escape was assured.

"Consider this a parting of the ways," said Bella. "A permanent one."

Carlisle cleared his throat, stunned but impressed by her boldness in the face of these ancient powers. It was up to him to say goodbye. "We'll leave now," he said, nodding at his three old comrades. "We won't bother you again."

"We trust you won't," said Marcus, still at a distance from us at the top of the steps. "We have no need for troubles such as these."

"Indeed, you don't," agreed Carlisle. "Goodbye."

Aro's mouth dropped open as if to speak, but no words came out. Carlisle nodded to him once more, and we left.

No one spoke as we hastily passed through the antechamber and descended the narrow winding stairwell. We followed Carlisle through the maze of halls toward the doors that would take us to the main square. I left the frustrated thoughts of Aro, Marcus, and Caius behind me, focusing only on escape. Let them stew in their own juices, as Jasper would say. They would never have us.

As we passed what was once Gianna's desk, we saw our small suitcases and duffel bags stacked behind the chair against the wall; our passports were still inside. Alice rummaged in the drawers of the desk and, amazingly, found her passport, as well. Bella's was tucked all along in the back pocket of the dirty jeans she wore. Suitcases and identities in hand, we hurried outside, through a small alley toward the dark courtyard of Volterra. We'd have to find transportation to get us to the airport.

Bella and I moved quickly, as closely together as we could while walking side by side in the middle of the knot of our family. Now that we were free, I kissed her forehead, her cheek, in gratitude for her staying safe. She turned her face to mine and kissed me soundly on the lips. We stopped for a glorious moment, savoring the taste of each other, of continued life, until Emmett shoved us along, muttering about getting a room. Reluctantly our lips parted, we looked ahead, and followed Carlisle into the open space of the courtyard.

The ancient stonework shone in the moonlight, and the water in the fountain shimmered like a silver dollar in the middle of the space. The only people awake at this late hour were a handful of drunks and lovers dotting the square and passageways, and they paid us no attention. The stars winked at us overhead, perhaps congratulating us for our nerve, or our astonishing luck.

"I'm sorry," said Bella, loudly enough that I realized she was apologizing to all of us, not just me. "I'm sorry for what I put you through. I'm an idiot."

"Don't worry, dear," said Esme, running a hand through Bella's tousled hair. "We wouldn't have let you get away with that stunt anyhow. We're family." She squeezed her shoulder before she went to join Carlisle near the fountain. Carlisle embraced his wife fiercely.

"We'll talk when we get home," I said to Bella. "But no one is upset with you. Least of all me."

"You should be," she replied. She looked me in the eyes, daring me to contradict her.

"Listen, we do need to talk," I said again. "But first we need to get out of here. Unless you want to hunt first?"

She shook her head firmly. "I want to go home."

"Me, too," I said quietly, wondering whether we had a home anymore at all, now that the Quileutes knew that I had changed Bella. That was another topic we needed to discuss, but now was not the time.

"You sure you don't want to hunt?" asked Emmett as he sidled up to us. "Italian cuisine is supposed to be all fancy."

Bella grimaced and shook her head.

Emmett squeezed her lightly on the arm, saying, "That was good action in there. I think you're finally one of us."

Rosalie joined him, and Bella stepped close to her. "Rosalie, I'm really, really sorry I did that to you. I mean running away, making you all worry. I wasn't thinking. I thought I could – that somehow I'd – " She sighed. "But I'm a big jerk."

"No, you're not," Rosalie said harshly. "You're just – " She glowered at Bella, ten cynical retorts brewing in her mind. But then she surprised even me by grabbing Bella and hugging her tightly. The hug lasted for no more than two seconds, and she quickly walked away toward the fountain. Emmett, Bella, and I stood dumbfounded.

"Like I said," whispered Emmett before he turned to join his wife.

Bella and I looked at each other, still at a loss for words. Alice darted past us and around the fountain toward a dark, hulking object that sat in one of the alleyways.

Jasper edged up to me and rocked on his heels, hands clasped behind his back. He looked drained, and I wondered what tonight's emotional manipulation had cost him. "Luckily today wasn't a good day to die, after all." And he actually winked at us.

I smiled back at him just before his weary gaze followed his wife.

"Let's go," she called.

Alice leaned against the driver's door of minivan large enough to carry us all – a Honda Odyssey. How had someone fit that behemoth into that narrow passage? The vehicle looked ridiculously overstated compared to the fashionable little roadsters and Vespas parked near it. But though it was not exactly Italy's most sexy getaway van, it certainly would suffice.

* * *

_**Author's Note: One more chapter will tie up loose ends and reveal whether the Cullens have a home waiting for them in Forks, or if the Quileutes have decided to banish them. I'm so grateful to all of you who have adopted this story as an alternative to **__**Breaking Dawn**__**. Thank you for following this, and for your thoughtful comments. :) **_


	9. Home

"Happily ever after" is a relative term. It's truer for my kind than one might imagine. Was I grateful for what I had? Yes, oh, yes. I knew what I deserved, and I'd gotten so much more than I ever should have expected.

But as we stood on our doorstep, motionless with the morning sun shining on our backs and mist rising from the grass around us, our family finally all together and safe, I realized I wanted every bit of happiness I could hoard. I didn't want to read the note that was slipped halfway under our door, because that could mean the beginning of the end of our time here in Forks. Now that I'd tasted it, this little bit of normality couldn't be snatched from me. Here I was, being greedy as always, but I couldn't help myself.

Alaska was always an option – we'd lived there before – and Bella and I would attend college there soon; but I wanted a place with longevity, a place to call home, for another few years, at least. Forks was as much a home as I'd ever had in my immortal life, and now it was bursting with memories of me and Bella and our heady, tumultuous romance. We'd fallen in love here. We'd battled for our lives here. We'd married here.

I couldn't leave this place, never to return. My past would seem unmoored if I had to abandon all my memories in this town.

I wanted to be here in Forks at Christmas time with my wife and pretend things in our family were ordinary. I looked forward to watching snow pile up on the roads while people we knew went about their business after they'd shoveled off their cars and trucks. I longed to hear the familiar clipped, hard r's of the locals' speech as they shopped for holiday gifts in town. I needed to smell the nostalgic concoction of apple cider and cinnamon and cloves cooking on our stove, even if we wouldn't drink it. There had to be a real Fraser fir in the living room, brightly decorated, a burst of colored lights, while Bing Crosby and Burl Ives crooned through our sound system. I would shower my bride with frivolous presents, wrapped in shiny foil paper under the tree. Most of all, Bella would feel like her new family was as good as her old one, the one she'd never get to see again.

I even had a silly, fleeting vision of Bella, after a hunt, leaving her father some nice venison on his front lawn and making him wonder if there really was a Santa Claus. But that was too dangerous. We couldn't chance him seeing her now, or at Christmas, or ever.

Perhaps we should leave town after all; wouldn't that be easier for Bella? I sighed. Things would never be simple for us.

Next to me on the doorstep, Bella – following a quick but crucial hunt after we'd arrived back in the States – seemed steady once more; but her eyes were riveted to the note under our front door. A single word glared up at us – _Cullens_ –scrawled across the front of the envelope in heavy pen. Bella glanced around our group, sensing the tension and wondering why no one was touching the letter.

"What's that?" she asked.

Everyone looked at me.

I cleared my throat and swallowed, searching for the right words. "When you were gone I … behaved rashly."

"That makes two of us," said Bella. She narrowed her eyes. "What'd _you_ do?"

"I went to La Push, looking for you. I told them I changed you."

Bella looked again at the letter, recognizing it now for what it was: a time bomb. "Oh," she said. She glanced behind us as if she expected the pack to leap onto the porch and devour us in one piece, Big Bad Wolf style.

Carlisle reached down and picked up the letter. "Let's go inside," he said briskly.

Esme had barely shut the door behind us when Carlisle slid his finger across the seal and withdrew a sheet of plain, white paper. He scanned it quickly. His left hand pinched his lower lip, as it always did when he was thinking hard.

The rest of us remained quiet while Alice fidgeted. She didn't like not knowing what the wolves had decided, but there was nothing she could do about that blank spot in her sight. I saw the note in Carlisle's mind as he read it, and could hardly believe what my senses told me.

"Well?" prodded Esme.

Carlisle blinked, seeming to come out of a trance, and looked at all of us, his gaze lingering on Esme last. He looked down at the note again.

"'Welcome home,'" he read aloud. "'Our elders have agreed to meet with Carlisle Cullen to begin talks of possible renegotiation of the terms of our treaty. Your continued presence here may be mutually beneficial. We ask that Bella Cullen attend this meeting.'" Carlisle glanced at Bella before scanning the rest of the note. "They're asking me to contact Sam to schedule a time and place."

"Ah!" said Alice, laughing. "Yes! We get to stay!"

Carlisle raised his eyebrows and half-nodded; that was the impression the note had given him, too. Jasper felt the tension drain from the bodies around him, and his thoughts quieted. Esme clasped her hands together in front of her, her shining eyes locked on her husband's. Finally, with an exhale of relief, Carlisle returned her smile.

Jasper draped his arm over Alice's shoulder. "Bella, Bella," he drawled, sounding, as he sometimes did, like he was still living in another era. "Who knew you'd turn out to be our lucky charm?"

Alice poked him gently in the stomach and ran to Bella, embracing her. "You're the best thing that ever happened to us," she whispered in her ear.

"I'm – I'm pretty sure I'm not," Bella stammered over Alice's shoulder.

"Okay, you've gotta learn how to take some credit," said Emmett, pointing his finger at her.

Bella rolled her eyes, but grinned back at him.

"Why don't we all unpack?" suggested Esme.

Rosalie was already halfway up the stairs with her bag, grateful and silent, for once. Perhaps, as I saw it more often, I could learn to appreciate this side of my sister. Our family separated, each couple going back to its room to get settled back in.

We were home.

Bella and I had just entered our bedroom when we reached for each other. Suddenly the emotion of the past couple of days came bearing down on me, and I had to have her. Bella cleaved to me as she wrapped her arms around my neck and threaded her fingers through my hair. I pressed against her and crushed my mouth to hers, tasting deer's blood from our hasty hunt on her tongue as I kicked the door closed behind me. Her fingers trailed over my jaw, down the front of my chest to my hipbones. We wrestled our way to the bed, my hand already up her shirt and hers reaching for the button on my jeans. She smelled like the hunt, and suddenly I realized it was more tantalizing than she'd ever smelled in her human life.

I couldn't get her clothes off fast enough.

But suddenly Bella stiffened. She sniffed twice and wrinkled her nose in disgust. "What's that smell?"

"What smell?" I kept kissing her lips, her neck, while I straddled her narrow pelvis to unbutton her shirt.

She already had my jeans open, but now she half-rose and cocked her head, her upper lip curled and brow furrowed. She sniffed again. "Ugh! What _is_ that? Smells like – " She stood up and opened the bedroom door, buttoning her shirt as she went back downstairs.

I sighed, my hands resting on my thighs, head hanging. I'd have to get used to Bella's ability to sense things more quickly and accurately than the rest of us. Reluctantly, I buttoned up and tried to compose myself, following her.

A few seconds later I sensed a mind whirling, as ever, in a cyclone of emotion. Shortly thereafter I caught the scent of dog, and there was a knock on the door.

"Bella! Wait!" I caught her hand as she was about to turn the doorknob. I mouthed, _It's Jacob_.

Her eyes grew round as she realized that her friend was the source of the stench. She hesitated, probably unsure if I was comfortable with her seeing him. She started to speak, but stopped herself. Another rapping at the door, this time more insistent.

"He needs to see me. To see this," she whispered, gesturing at her new self.

My old anxiety began to wail inside me, but I knew she was right. She'd have to do this sooner or later. She'd just fed, and she was strong. She'd be fine. I nodded and stood away from the door, trying not to imagine Jacob attacking her. Of course, I'd be there in a split second if she needed me …

With that, I realized I was more worried for her safety than I was about her feelings for Jacob. Somehow, at some point, without my noticing it, something inside me had lifted, and I felt lighter than I had in months.

I gestured for her to go.

Again Bella hesitated. Was she making sure I wasn't upset about this? Was she scared?

_He's alone_, I said silently. _You're safe_.

Bella tilted her head and smiled at me, an odd twinkle in her eyes. I chuckled. I couldn't believe that I, of all people, had just said that to her, either.

I waved her on with a stiff smile. I wasn't elated he was here, but I wasn't about to stand in the way. And I wouldn't let Bella know how much Jacob still irritated me. What husband could ever be happy about his wife seeing an old flame, even if he trusted her? I _had_ to trust her. Otherwise, what sort of marriage could we ever hope to have? In truth, it was Jacob I didn't trust. As far as I was concerned, Jacob was and always would be a dog sniffing after Bella.

She kissed my cheek and opened the door. A fresh breeze wafted into the living room, caressing our skin. It was one of those rare days in Forks when the sun had come out late in the morning and would shine all afternoon. Light streamed into the entryway around her, and her halo blazed into my eyes just before she shut the door.

I was nearly flattened by the screaming of Jacob's mind when he saw her. I leaned against the inside of the door and tried to take in what he was seeing. He'd backtracked down the porch steps to the lawn, to put some distance between himself and the vampire who used to be his love … but it wasn't far enough.

Through his eyes I saw Bella, the monster.

She stood at the top of the porch steps, shimmering marble, perfect and cold, no longer soft and accident-prone – this was Bella, fearless and powerful all by herself. She could kill him, and he knew it. She descended the steps gracefully and he took a halting step backward – afraid, but too proud and angry to show it. He was thinking that he knew her but didn't know her, didn't want to know this new being. He regretted coming here. He was stunned that Bella was beautiful to him even now, in that unearthly way of the undead. She enticed him. She terrified him. He longed to run, but he wouldn't. This had to happen. And yet it was the last thing he'd ever wanted.

Jasper, feeling what was happening, came to join me. Together we sat on the floor, forearms resting on knees, our backs against the front door. He shook his head, frowning, and I nodded in agreement. This was bad. I was grateful for his company. And he would help me, if Jacob became violent. Alice now crept into the room and sat on the piano bench. She knew she couldn't predict Jacob's behavior, but she wanted to be here anyhow, just in case.

Back on the lawn, Jacob couldn't look Bella in the eyes; she was too much for him. He wanted to yell. He wanted to weep. A hundred questions clamored in his mind. Attacks, half-planned, swirled and kicked through his head, confusing him. He was ferocious and horrified and still in love, and it made him immobile. His breathing was fast and deep, almost panting, like a frightened puppy's.

He stared at the ring on her finger, then the bracelet on her wrist, and the first thing he said was, "Where's the wolf?"

She raised her hand and I noticed for the first time that the carved wooden charm was gone. My heart contracted. She must have removed it before she went to Italy.

"I'm married now, Jake," Bella said quietly.

"That's not all that's changed." Bitterness and accusation dripped from Jacob's words.

"Yeah, well …" Bella shrugged. She dropped her hand, and the diamond on the bracelet shimmered in the sunlight. So did her hand.

"We were friends," muttered Jacob.

"The wolf's in my jewelry box," said Bella. "Doesn't change anything. You still saved my life."

Jacob scoffed. _For what?_ he thought.

"You were my best friend," Bella went on. "We can still be friends."

They were silent for a long while, with Jacob now watching Bella's feet.

"No, we can't," said Jacob.

Bella didn't speak.

"You made your choice," he said.

Bella nodded. "Finally."

Through Jacob, I saw the two of them in his room, their last goodbyes thundering through his mind, trampling all hope. I saw the ghosts of affection that Jacob had clung to in the time before our wedding, and all the real and imagined demonstrations of love Bella had shown him. I saw how he'd envisioned the future with her, and my heart broke for him.

It could have been me who'd been left behind.

Jacob half turned from Bella and looked off into the woods, but he couldn't leave. He wanted to ask her what it was like, to be what she was. Then he decided he didn't want to know.

The air was heavy with all the things they weren't saying to each other.

"I'm so sorry, Jake," whispered Bella.

Jacob's head dropped and he watched his bare toes gripping the ground for a while. His skin looked dark and dull next to her luminescence.

"Bella …" He shook his head, and kept shaking it. All the things he'd wanted to say to her, to shout at her, were somehow meaningless, now that he'd seen her splendor, her remoteness, seen the ring on her finger.

At last he raised his head and looked into Bella's clear crimson eyes. She regarded him with affection and familiarity. With her arms hanging loosely by her sides, she seemed confident and sad all at once. Jacob's breath hitched. This was his Bella, but more beautiful than ever, now never-changing, out of reach like something heavenly. He wanted to hate her. He would try to hate her.

He turned quickly and walked, walked, to the edge of the forest. Then, under the cover of trees, the pine needles stabbing his bare feet, he began to run.

Bella stayed outside for another few minutes. When she came in, she gave a wan smile to Jasper and Alice, who quietly stood and went back upstairs. Then she looked at me.

I wanted to say that I was sorry, that goodbyes always hurt, that I understood what it was like to leave people behind. But before I could open my mouth, she ran to me and embraced me. I held her close and just whispered that I loved her, because, really, that was the only thing I could say, after all.

* * *

Later, up in our meadow, we had spread out Bella's quilt, and now we lay there side by side, hands clasped, looking up at the gathering clouds. It was dusk, and would be dark soon. The waning light filtered through the cloud cover and sat still on our skin, giving the illusion that we were just another young man and woman lying here, simply happy to be alone in each other's company. I thought of our wedding night and how we should have been here, together, learning each other's bodies without the threat of death hanging over our heads.

But death was all around us, and always would be. I had no illusions about the Volturi leaving us alone. They'd grow their ranks again, re-think their strategies, find a way to confront us again. Jane would seek out Bella and try to kill her; I had no doubt about that. We could never let our guard down. Even if our negotiations with the Quileute tribe went well, we might have to leave Forks after all.

But for now, we had as much peace as we were likely ever to have again.

We lay there in silence, each of us thinking our own thoughts. I was beginning to realize that sometimes I relished the quiet I could enjoy in Bella's company, without her mind intruding into mine as everyone else's did. I used to think knowing her thoughts would help me to understand her, to trust her. But she told me everything I needed to know, in words and in actions, and it was up to me to have faith in her. Right now she was probably thinking about losing Jacob's friendship, and that was only right.

I settled back into my dark thoughts about the Volturi, and about the narrow escape we'd managed in Italy. Things could have gone horribly wrong. I could have lost Bella, and my whole family. For that matter, I could have gotten myself killed when I went to La Push, if Jacob had been angry enough to shift into his wolf form and if his pack had followed suit instead of helping me. I squeezed Bella's hand and thanked God for allowing two such reckless beings to survive another day. Then I smiled, thinking of what Carlisle would say if he knew I was talking to God again.

Bella sat up on an elbow, nestling her knees into my side and resting her other hand on my chest. Her hair tickled my cheek. "I'm sorry," she said.

I tucked an arm behind my head and said, "For what?" But I knew. We hadn't been able to talk about anything on the flight home. Somehow neither of us had wanted to have this intimate conversation near the unnaturally keen hearing of our family.

"For running off to Italy like that," she said. "I thought I'd be quick enough. That I could talk to them before you'd even gotten on an airplane. But I could have gotten myself captured. Or killed." She looked into my eyes. "I could have gotten _you_ killed."

"Bella – "

"I wasn't thinking. As usual." She blinked rapidly, and I could tell she was trying not to cry. "I thought I was saving everyone. But I could have ruined everything."

I clasped the hand that lay on my chest. "Yes."

We looked at each other for a moment as the weight of my affirmation sunk in.

"But," I admitted, "I probably would have done the same thing in your shoes. If I thought I could save you by sacrificing myself, I would do it."

Bella's voice was adamant. "I wouldn't want you to do that."

"And I didn't want you to do it, either."

Her brow knit and she was silent.

"But then again," I said, "I endangered my own life by going and blabbing to the pack that I'd changed you. So I can't throw stones."

"Why'd you do that?"

"I thought – " I didn't want to say this, but I had to. "I thought you'd gotten cold feet. That you had run back to Jacob."

Her face grew even more serious. "Edward."

"I know. I can be a real idiot." I sat up and faced her, still holding her hand. "Once I was there and knew you hadn't gone to him, I had to have a reason for being there. And I figured they'd find out sooner or later about your transformation."

"But you told them about my ability."

I nodded.

"And because of that, we get to stay in Forks." She scooted closer to me and sat cross-legged so that our knees were touching. "It worked out."

"Kind of. We're here," I said, stroking her hair, "but you don't get to see your dad."

"True. I don't." She lowered her eyes and was lost in her own thoughts again.

I let her be for a moment, then I said slowly, "I'm not quite sure what the point is. Of our staying here now."

For me, Forks was filled with mostly good memories – of falling in love with Bella. But I wondered if this place was full of painful memories for her. She'd lost her school friends, her best friend, and her family. Perhaps I'd ask her if we should leave permanently. Maybe we should go to college and just stay in Alaska. It would be sad to leave the city where we'd met; but wasn't nurturing our love the most important thing now? And we could do that anywhere.

"We can protect him," Bella said suddenly. "My dad. And everyone else here."

When I saw the light in her eyes, I knew she was right. By staying here, her newfound power would keep her father safe from other vampires, even if he never saw her again. "Yes. We can do that."

Bella smiled at me, but her eyes remained cheerless. I pulled her to me and held her. We stayed like that for a while, until she pulled away, trying to brighten her smile a little more.

"Do you want to talk about maybe delaying university for a while?" I whispered. "So we can stay here?"

"Let's talk about it later," said Bella.

I leaned in to kiss her, but Bella put a finger on my lips.

"One more thing," Bella said.

I couldn't resist: I licked her finger and wrapped my lips around it.

"No, Edward, I have to say this." She pulled her finger from my mouth and I sat back to listen. "From now on, I promise I won't do anything rash without talking with you first. You're my husband. We're a team. I need to get used to that."

These were indeed words that needed to be said. "Me, too," I agreed. "I promise. No more trips to La Push, or anywhere else where I might get ripped to shreds."

"Good."

"Good."

Bella kissed me and murmured, "No more solo superhero escapades."

I raised an eyebrow. "But will you still wear a cape for me?"

"Only if you wear the tights."

We laughed as we kissed, our hums and sighs mingling in each other's mouths, and the darkness descended in a purple hush. Birds in the trees muttered softly to themselves as they settled into their nests for the night. The air smelled clean and new, and a breeze lifted the hairs on the back of my neck as Bella and I worshipped one another's bodies in the cool night air. Finally, our wedding night was here, as it should have been. We took our time, because time was ours to squander now. It felt like the beginning of something good, something permanent, something altogether ours. It felt like the beginning of "happily ever after."

* * *

_**Author's Note: Well, folks, that's the end of this story. Thank you again for accompanying me on this journey. It's been a wild ride, gratifying in all the nicest ways. I'm so pleased you liked my Edward and Bella enough to follow them all the way to the end. You're the best. :) **_


End file.
